All The Dinosaurs In The Jurassic Series Ranked By How Much We Want To Hug Them (And How Bad That Would Turn Out For Us)

The "Jurassic" franchise has always been about hubris, about the terrifying consequences of mankind using technology they don't fully comprehend and playing god. Michael Crichton made a career out of exploiting our fears of technology and how it could destroy our lives, and the "Jurassic Park" movies are at their best when they explore that idea through dinosaurs brutally devouring unsuspecting humans who think they are invincible.

But no matter how many times we see people try to control the dinosaurs and keep them as pets or theme park rides, can we truly blame them? If given the chance, wouldn't we also try to pet, or even hug a dinosaur? With "Jurassic World Dominion" inspiring every outlet out there to revisit this franchise, we thought we'd do things a bit differently. That is why we are also ranking every single dinosaur in the "Jurassic" movies ... based on how much we want to hug them, and how much they'd hurt us if we try (spoiler, the answer is "a whole lot" and "a whole lot").

Let's be honest, even the most dangerous dinosaurs in this franchise are still somewhat cute. That is, except for the Scorpios Rex. Remember the concept art for a canceled version of "Jurassic Park 4" that included horrifying human-dino hybrids? Well, the Scorpios Rex is the closest we've got to that being a reality. A hybrid monstrosity created by Henry Wu, this poor creature suffers from respiratory and neurological problems, which makes its behavior erratic and unpredictable. But more than anything, it is just absolutely hideous. I mean, just look at that face! Not even a mother can love that messed-up face. We'll place this one under "it can kill us effortlessly and very painfully, but we would not get anywhere near it for a hug."

Though not nearly as ugly as the Scorpios Rex, the Indoraptor from "Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom" still gets a bit of a shrug from us on the huggable scale. After all, this is a hybrid dinosaur that was never thought of as entertainment, but as a lethal weapon bred to kill. If you try to hug it, it will tear you apart limb from limb and dance on your grave.

All dinos are huggable until proven otherwise, but the thing about the Dimorphodon is that while its body is that of a cute bird, it has the terrifying head of a T-Rex. That means that before you can approach it to give it a big hug, it can break your skull in two with its giant teeth. Would that stop us from trying? Probably not, as we have the wonders of engineering that are helmets. You just have to be careful, approach slowly, and pet its giant head before it kills you.

This one ranks so low purely for practical reasons. As fun as it is to pet and hug dolphins or sharks, a Mosasaurus is simply too big for a single human to properly hug and receive a hug in return. Instead, it would probably think you're a tiny barnacle or a delicious sweet and swallow you whole long before you can even get close. Worse yet, you probably won't even reach the depth at which the Mosasaurus swims before you start running out of air, and get hunted down and killed by the dino. Great look, even better name, terrible hugger.

Sticking with the trend of very cool dinosaurs that are simply too impractical to hug, we have the Spinosaurus. It's one of the best-looking dinos in the entire franchise, the source of nightmares and fear of phones to millions of kids in the early aughts (or at least just me), and the first dinosaur we saw beat the crap out of a T-Rex. Of course, all this makes the Spinosaurus a very tempting hug target, if only so you can touch its spine and feel its texture like you're Diego Luna thinking about Jabba the Hutt. The problem is that, unless you find a baby Spinosaurus, you will barely reach its heel, and even if you do hug it, it can easily kick you to the stratosphere or just tear you to shreds with its teeth. Truly, the only way to properly give a Spinosaurus a hug is to drop from the air, avoid being impaled by its spine, and just give it a huge bear hug with your last moments alive on this earth. Worth it? Probably.

It's like a T-Rex, but with a horn — how can you not want to hug the Ceratosaurus!? Well, the truth is, this is a rather dull dinosaur. Sure, its red-ish skin tone makes him menacing and its horn adds a demonic air that makes this a very edgy and cool dino, but it doesn't do much in the film. Indeed, no sooner does it show up with its badass horn than it leaves never to be seen again at the mere smell of a giant pile of poop hiding Dr. Grant and the Kirby family. You can probably try and hug the Ceratosaurus, and if you cover yourself in a little poop chances are it won't even try to kill you, but where's the fun in that?

Stars of one of the most iconic scenes in the franchise, the Gallimimus are first scene when Dr. Grant and the kids are running away from a stampede caused by a T-Rex on the hunt. Though the Gallimimus are herbivores in the movie and have no teeth, which means they would pose no huge threat to your health if you try to hug them, would you really want to? After all, they are not much more than scaly ostriches. 

Four words about the Indominus Rex: We can fix her. Sure, it's the first genetic hybrid monstrosity that we see in the "Jurassic World" trilogy, it wreaks havoc and destroys everything it touches, it hunts other dinos for sport and not for food, and sure, it even turns the friendly velociraptors into murderous lap dogs. But then again, look at those puppy eyes and tell me it doesn't just want to be hugged? We learn that the Indominus Rex spent its entire childhood in a cage (well, after eating its own sibling), alone and devoid of love. Even if it mauls you with its huge Velociraptor claws and then splits you in two with its teeth, you can die knowing you made one creepy dinosaur happier by giving it a little love.

An absolute star, the Dilophosaurus only has one big scene in the franchise (so far), but it makes the most of it to become an icon of the "Jurassic" series. In spite of its small size, the Dilophosaurus is quite terrifying and deadly once it spreads its frill and spits venom at you. This means you have to be very careful because there is no way you don't want to hug one of these. I mean, look at that beautiful bloody frill and tell me you don't want to lift the Dilophosaurus in the air like you were Rafiki and it was Simba in "The Lion King"? To avoid being paralyzed and then slowly devoured, be sure to wear some protective gear from head to toe, and probably wear some peacock-like plumage or something to make you look either scary or attractive to the Dilophosaurus, then jump for the kill hug. 

The mighty Carnotaurus already made an impact as the terrifying villain of Disney's underrated "Dinosaur," but even if it didn't have that big a role in the "Jurassic" franchise, how can you not love a dinosaur with big horns? Those babies are enough to make this one very huggable dinosaur, since you can hug it while riding it, using the horns as reins. The problem is that those very same horns are very likely to impale you right before the Carnotaurus rips you apart with its even bigger teeth.

Speaking of Disney's "Dinosaur," the five-minute "Jurassic World Dominion" prologue also introduced us to the star of that other animated film, the Iguanodon. Even if it doesn't show up in the movie proper, the Iguanodon is already a pretty huggable dino. For one, it is iconic in our world as it is one of the first dinosaurs discovered. But just looking at it, the Iguanodon looks like a big land turtle, all wrinkled and wise, and because the Iguanodon is an herbivore, there's a big chance it won't kill you after you try to hug it.

An ode to the Compsognathus, often referred to as Compy. They are chicken-sized dinosaurs, seemingly harmless little critters who travel in packs and act like the rats of the "Jurassic" franchise. Though they appear huggable, and their small size makes it easy to hug a whole pack of them, they are actually extremely dangerous. After all, they like to attack little girls on vacation, and when banded together they can slowly bite away at you until you bleed out.

Yes, we're pairing these two dinos, because not only do they look practically the same and it's been theorized that the Stygimoloch is just a younger form of the Pachycephalosaurus. In any case, the one dinosaur of this kind we meet in "Fallen Kingdom" helps free Owen and Claire and saves their lives and those of the captured dinosaurs, so it definitely deserves a hug. The only problem is that it seems quite temperamental and can easily open a cannonball hole in your chest by headbutting you if you anger it. So try to offer it some treats first, okay?

One of the big stars of the franchise, the Velociraptor has been shown to be a ruthless killing machine time and time again. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should want to get anywhere near one, less they like to be slashed "across the belly, spilling your intestines," as Alan Grant once said. No, you definitely do not want to be still alive as a pair of raptors eat you. Except the dangerous ones are just the adults, of course! Look at that cute little baby! It can't possibly hurt anyone. So all you gotta do is find a Velociraptor egg, wait for it to hatch, and it will imprint on you and consider you its family, so you can hug the sharp-claw monster all you want as it can only scratch you, not yet disembowel you.

The Parasaurolophus may not be as flashy as the dinosaur with more teeth, but it is just as synonymous with the "Jurassic" franchise as the Raptor, having appeared in every movie so far. They are quiet, docile creatures who never bothered anyone, instead choosing to just chill around the Brachiosaurus Enclosure when the dinos got free in the first "Jurassic Park." Because of this, they should be quite easy to hug, and they may even like it, but don't you want a little danger when you hug an extinct creature?

Don't you love herbivore dinosaurs? They don't want to kill you, and they don't outright try to dismember you for fun. Take the Stegosaurus, for instance. They look like giant elephants or rhinos. Can they kill you? Of course, and it will probably be extremely hard to properly hug one with the plates on its back, not to mention the spikes on its tail that can impale you like you're Dracula getting a stake through the heart, but they look too friendly to do that. 

True fans of the "Jurassic" franchise know that the T-Rex and Velociraptors may get all the attention, but the Pteranodon is the true monster of the original three movies. This thing is a large flying demon so dangerous and terrifying that it was saved up for the last movie of the original trilogy. It's hard to forget the horror of Eric Kirby just getting snatched by a Pteranodon when trying to cross their aviary on Isla Sorna like he was a tennis ball, or how Billy Brennan was tossed around and essentially tortured by the Pteranodons. Or how about when Zara Young was grabbed by one beast before being dropped on the Jurassic World Lagoon and then eaten alongside the Pteranodon by a hungry and sadistic Mosasaurus.

Still, we can't get mad at them. Can you imagine hugging a Pteranodon and having it spread its wings to hug you back like Eagly in "Peacemaker"? It would be worth all the lacerations and bites.

Dogs are cute, aren't they? They are cuddly, fun to be around, and can also defend you from harm. But when it comes to a cute pet that can also serve as a near-indestructible defense tank, few animals can beat the armored beast that is the Ankylosaurus. Just imagine it, you pet your cute Ankylosaurus, give it a big old hug as you try to avoid cutting yourself on its spikes, then jump on top of it and ride your own personal tank through traffic, as it uses its deadly club tail to destroy any cars on the way. Plus, they are extremely cute as babies, as proven by the MVP of "Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous," Bumpy. 

An image that changed everything, and the dinosaur that turned a book adaptation into a phenomenon. The first reveal of the Brachiosaurus in "Jurassic Park" is one of the most iconic movie images of the modern era, proof that John Hammond's team of engineers could bring dinosaurs to life, and proof that movies could deliver believable CGI creatures. The sheer grandeur and scale of the first look at the Brachiosaurus is hard to beat. Of course, this makes them very tempting targets of hugs, even if they will probably won't even notice your presence as you wrap your arms around that long neck. On the other hand, they can flatten you like a piece of paper by stepping on you even accidentally, so be careful around them.

Here it is, the big girl. The big guns. The teeth that scared a whole generation of lawyers from going to public toilets. The roar that continues to haunt people's nightmares. The T-Rex is intrinsically linked to the "Jurassic" franchise, and even if we've seen it swallow, decapitate, crush, smash, and otherwise kill all sorts of humans (and one lawyer too). Nevertheless, it would be quite a feat to successfully hug a T-Rex and live to tell the tale, so we have to try, don't we? Maybe if you show it a nice and juicy lawyer beforehand, it can be distracted long enough for you to give it a hug? It can't hug you back, though. Its arms are too short. 

Was there any other choice? Not even Alan Grant could resist giving a Triceratops a big hug. They are cool, they look like ancient rhinoceros, they have not one, or two, but three horns, and they resulted in the best character from "The Land Before Time." If you don't anger one to the point where it gores you with its horns and leaves you to bleed out, you best believe you will get the best hug this side of the Cretaceous period.