SNL: Jake Gyllenhaal Mediates A Workplace Dispute With Chucky The Murder-Doll

As he awaits the second season of his USA/Syfy series, everyone's favorite mass-murdering doll has found himself a side hustle. Chucky is taking a break from traumatizing teenage boys into becoming killers so he can file papers ... or make sales calls. The specifics aren't really important, just picture this: the vengeful spirit of serial killer Charles Lee Ray continues to exist in an adorably freckled Good Guy doll, but now he gets to wreak havoc in an office building. And as though a tiny ginger killing machine isn't dangerous enough, another agent of chaos is at play here — Jake Gyllenhaal.

This week's episode of "Saturday Night Live" featured Gyllenhaal as a host, and one of his more memorable skits involved Chucky (played by Sarah Sherman) and some very gossipy co-workers. The skit opens with Melissa Villaseñor, Chloe Fineman, and Ego Nwodim gossiping in the bathroom, only to realize that Chucky has been listening in the whole time — and he doesn't take well to being bullied. One thing leads to another, Chucky whips out a knife and then all of the co-workers find themselves being lectured by Gyllenhaal, who plays the Human Resources rep handling the insanity.

"Chucky, I understand when your feelings get hurt, your first reaction is violence," Gyllenhaal says quite calmly, as the camera cuts to show the adorable, murderous doll repeatedly stabbing him in the leg. At this point in the skit, you may find yourself wondering, "Hey ... could this work as a full-length series?" Sure, it sounds crazy, but this wouldn't be the first time a silly skit birthed some incredible TV.  Hear me out: back in 1988 when the Good Guy doll first arrived, Chucky attached himself to a six-year-old Andy Barclay. In his TV series, "Chucky," he's upgraded himself to whispering darkness in the ear of teenager Jake Webber, a bullied kid weighed down by trauma. 

Now consider this — what if Chucky makes the next big leap and becomes the companion of an adult, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Just think of the havoc these two could wreak! As we all know, Gyllenhaal's greatest performance to date was the unhinged lyrical cryptid, Mr. Music, and his work in the Chucky sketch is just further proof that the kookier this guy gets to be, the better. With Chucky by his side (and Janet in the corner making the whole office smell like tuna), Gyllenhaal's HR rep would lose his sanity in a matter of minutes and unleash untold chaos upon the world. And who wouldn't wanna watch that?

Or better yet, we could take these agents of chaos and toss them into TV's current favorite office building, over at Lumon. The world of "Severance" would welcome them with open arms! But until the rest of the world catches onto this genius premise, the best we can do is keep revisiting the tumultuous tale of Gyllenhaal and Chucky's SNL adventure.