The 8 Best Characters In Morbius Ranked

If you go into "Morbius" expecting an over-the-top villain origin story, you will more or less get what you asked for. While the titular character doesn't really fall into the category of villain or hero, there is some fun to be had, along with a few interesting characters to meet. In addition to Morbius — a Marvel antihero from Spider-Man's rogues' gallery — the Sony film introduces a host of new heroes and villains in the comic book vampire tale. Here they are, ranked from worst to best, but know this: There will be spoilers ahead. 

"Morbius" follows Dr. Michael Morbius, a mad scientist who surprises everyone when he splices his DNA with a vampire bat and becomes a vampire. Who could have seen this coming? While this is an unconventional science fiction take on a vampire story, it's pretty par for the course in terms of "Spider-Man" villains. ("Spider-Man: No Way Home" effectively covered how most of them happen to be scientists who experimented on themselves and went a little too far.) The not-so-good doctor has some friends and family along for the ride, and there are a lot of scene-stealers in the movie.  

While it was nice to see Jared Harris ("Mad Men") in the film, his character was absolutely pointless. Dr. Emil Nicholas is a physician and sometimes a father figure to Michael and Milo (Matt Smith). He's just there to give their relationship conflict and their characters daddy issues. (It's okay for heroes and villains to have other problems, you know.) 

It really just seems like zero effort was made into developing this character. He's not smart, despite what the movie wants us to believe. The science keeping Milo and Michael alive was discovered by Michael, not Emil. He goes to visit Milo when it is abundantly clear that Milo is angry and dangerous. Dr. Nicholas is not a vampire, but somehow he does not age over 25 years. He's ... rich? Or, maybe Lucien is rich? Or Michael is rich? Someone has enough money to support these three bachelors, and it's never made clear who.

Michael Keaton's involvement in "Morbius" was teased in the first trailer, but he doesn't show up until the film's post-credit sequence. While the reason Keaton's Vulture is in this universe is genuinely pretty funny, the vibes are off. It feels like Keaton didn't put much effort into reprising this role. The attempts at teasing a Sinister Six team-up also feel forced, especially when Michael is not a villain by the end of the film. He banishes himself to escape a life of crime and bloodlust, only to drive right up to a meeting in a field with a supervillain. Beg pardon?

Adrian Toomes was a pretty interesting character in "Spider-Man: Homecoming." He was a middle-class worker left at a disadvantage by The Avengers' heroic deeds. His daughter was Peter Parker's crush, allowing him to play a sinister twist on the "overbearing dad before the school dance" stereotype. His turn in "Morbius," however, was not up to par. Post-credits Toomes honestly feels like a shadow of what came before. 

Early on in the film, Dr. Morbius tells his coworker crush, Martine (Adria Arjona), that she should be thankful he's granting her plausible deniability. She then proceeds to include herself in all of his research and experiments, despite an abundance of red flags. It's clear that "Morbius" wants to portray the love interest as a smart, capable woman, but every decision she makes goes against logic and reason. Why would anyone think that making a serum out of vampire bat DNA was a good idea? That doesn't strike her as a little suspicious? 

There's also a tease with Martine at the end of the film that is incredibly jarring. She seemingly dies while giving her blood to Morbius to revive him. Then, in a montage at the end of the film, she wakes up, having been teleported ... somewhere. Seriously, there is no contextual evidence rooting her in a specific time or place. It's clear that she's alive and a vampire, but we have no way of knowing how or when she became one. Was she turned by drinking Morbius' blood? Did Milo give her the serum? Did she give herself the serum? The answers to those questions don't seem to matter to "Morbius."

It's unfortunate that Dr. Michael Morbius (played by Jared Leto) isn't the best character in his own movie. Michael's motivation is crystal clear at the beginning of the film. He has a rare blood disease and just wants a normal life for himself and his best friend Milo, and will do pretty much anything to find a cure. He first develops artificial blood (just like in "True Blood") and later becomes a vampire. After that, he's just running tests on himself and trying to clean up his own messes. He no longer has a specific goal or purpose. 

There is one thing about Michael's relationship with Milo that sticks out in the story. In a flashback at the beginning of the movie, Michael meets his new bunkmate, Lucien, and calls him "the new Milo," implying that his previous bunkmates die so frequently, that he doesn't want to bother learning their names. Not only does Lucien become his companion for life, but the name sticks. Why? That was kind of rude of Michael, no? And we're supposed to like this guy?

There's nothing particularly wrong with Simon Stroud as a character. He's an FBI agent investigating the murders committed by Michael Morbius on a private mercenary vessel. If you've seen Tyrese Gibson in the "Fast and Furious" films, you know that he can bring so much more to a movie than he does in "Morbius." His character in the "Fast" saga, Roman, drove a car into space in the latest installment in the franchise. Gibson is great at providing comedic relief and grounding ridiculous circumstances. 

With all that said, it's depressing to see him be so low-key in "Morbius." Why wasn't he funny? Other characters in the movie were funny, including Stroud's partner, Agent Rodriguez, who was given all of the good comedic moments. It doesn't seem fair. Still, since his character was lifted from the pages of Marvel Comics, maybe Simon will return in a future Sony movie and have a little more to do. 

The little girl in Morbius' lab, Anna (Zaris-Angel Hator), is the third-best character in the movie. She has a good rapport with Michael, who seems to genuinely care about her well-being. And she's very cute. Her scenes with Michael and Martine added some needed brevity to the beginning of the movie, and reminded the audience that there were real stakes (not a vampire pun) to Michael's experiments. He wasn't just trying to cure himself. This risky, experimental research was not born out of hubris or selfishness. There are other people he wanted to help, like Anna. Unfortunately, her storyline is completely dropped. She's put into a coma midway through the movie and never seen or heard from again ... and there aren't any adults left at the lab by the end of the film. 

"Morbius" is only 104 minutes long, and that's generally a good thing. More movies should come in well under two hours. However, it would have been nice if some of those minutes were spent fleshing out the world and getting to know characters like Anna a little bit better. 

Every Bill Compton needs an Eric Northman. (Or, if you're sick of the "True Blood" references, every Angel needs a Spike.) That's what Milo is to Michael. He's the fun vampire who delights in drinking blood and committing casual acts of murder in order to be strong and sexy. He's also played by Matt Smith, who knows exactly what tone the movie he's in calls for and has a lot of fun in the process. When Michael becomes a vampire, he puts his new strength to the test with a series of experiments and exercises. But when Milo injects himself with the bat DNA serum, he gets ready to go out on the town, dancing around his apartment and truly feeling himself. 

Wouldn't you rather watch a movie about him instead of Dr. Morbius? Milo does kidnap Michael's girlfriend, Martine, and that's a pretty basic thing for a villain to do. But, he's such a charismatic change of pace from the sullen Michael, that by that point in the movie you're just happy to see him doing anything. 

The character that would be the most exciting to potentially see cross-over into other Sony properties is the FBI agent played by former "Daily Show" correspondent, Al Madrigal. He's no-nonsense in a way that is laugh-out-loud funny. Unlike the cops in every other vampire story since the beginning of time, Agent Rodriguez sees bite marks and blood-drained victims and knows exactly what he's dealing with. His first theory is that he's dealing with a vampire attack. He wastes no time asking if Dr. Morbius has been spending time on boats, where the first vampire attack takes place. Nothing gets past this guy. Is he the best fictional detective of all time? 

His only flaw is trying to summon a cat by nonsensically shaking a litter box. Maybe he's a dog person. Sony needs to bring Agent Rodriguez back for "Kraven the Hunter," "Madame Web," and whatever "Sinister Six" nonsense they're planning. He's the perfect foil to all of these characters. Rodriguez recognizes that he lives in a world where supernatural things are out of the ordinary, but rolls with the punches surprisingly well, without letting them get in the way of his job.