Shout! Factory Acquires Rights To '80s Sitcom ALF, Will Expand The Property In Ways Nobody Asked For

Alright, kids, gather around grandma now and let me weave you a tale about an era of film and television that was surprisingly puppet-dominant. There were, of course, the forever series like "Sesame Street" and "The Muppets," the kind of programs where the IP is legally not allowed to die lest it break the hearts of millions. And there were the slightly weirder off-shoots, like "Fraggle Rock," or the more fantastical stories like "The NeverEnding Story" and its terrifying cousin "The Dark Crystal." And then, there was "ALF," the chronicle of an intergalactic hell beast that slaughtered animals for fun and ruined the lives of a nice suburban family.

We thought we had stopped him and his kind when his show was canceled in 1990 (and when it was maybe going to be rebooted a few years ago), but the entertainment company Shout! Factory has done the unspeakable. They have lifted the curse and breathed life into "ALF." They have undone the secret bindings, removed the old magic, and soon he will be free. Living and breathing and invading your television set. You can't run, you can't hide, there is nothing but "ALF."

Truly though, why? According to Deadline, Shout! Factory, a company known for their high quality re-releases, has teamed up with Alien Productions to acquire the distribution rights for the fever dream that is "ALF." The deal includes exclusive digital streaming rights in the U.S. on top of broadcast rights. While it sounds like Shout! Factory plans on adding the original "ALF" live series, "ALF: The Animated Series," "ALF Tales," and "Project: ALF" to their streaming service Shout! Factory TV, it doesn't sound like they're going to let god or country stop them from taking it to the next level. And by that I mean, they're going to create new, original, never before seen "ALF" content.

Jeffrey Peisch, Shout's senior vice president of programming and new business development, immortalized the cursed deal with these kind words:

I couldn't be more excited that Shout! Factory will be marketing and distributing ALF and working with the series' creators, Paul Fusco and Tom Patchett ... ALF was an instant classic when it debuted on network television over 30 years ago, and the series stands the test of time and appeals to multiple generations.

If you're one of the few that have been pining for Melmac since the show went off the air, I guess a good day to you. The rest of us will be responding appropriately by curling up in a ball and repeating "the horror, the horror."