The White Lotus Season 2 Displays Good Taste, Casts Aubrey Plaza

HBO, Mike White, and all of the rest involved with "The White Lotus" season 2 are clearly working overtime to ensure everyone comes back for more rich, entitled problems. After rumoring the return of icon Jennifer Coolidge for the second season, the show's creators announced the inspired casting of Michael Imperioli as one of the season's starring players. That was enough for plenty of fans to make their advanced reservations to revisit "The White Lotus," but if there's any second-guessers out there, today's announcement will surely entice you to join the rest of us at everyone's favorite luxury resort of drama. According to a report from TV Line, Aubrey Plaza of "Parks and Recreation," "Legion," "Black Bear," and the world's biggest deadpan, sardonic crush is joining the starring line-up for season 2. She is due to play a character named Harper Spiller, a woman on vacation with her husband and his friends.

Plaza is beloved for her ability to insult someone without blinking an eye, which means she will fit right in the satirical world of rich tightwads on "The White Lotus." I would pay to be insulted by Aubrey Plaza as she sips an overpriced cocktail poolside, and would thank her afterward for the privilege. "Euphoria" star Sydney Sweeney was the resident mean girl of season 1, but many easily dismissed her snark due to her character's teenage age. Aubrey Plaza is a full adult woman so if she's reading you to filth, it's a pointed decision and you probably deserved it.

Just as I did with Michael Imperioli's casting decision, I'm here to fantasy book some White Lotus luxury resort specific scenarios that I'd absolutely love to see for Aubrey Plaza. Knowing that her character is on vacation with her husband and his friends, she is likely going to have to put up with a bunch of insufferable, rich, a-holes, and this vacation is going to be exactly what she needs to figure out the truth of who she is and what she wants out of life. Yes, I've made another list.

• The tone for Harper's trip will be set after one of her husband's friends makes an offensive joke that does doesn't find funny and after her pathetic husband refuses to come to her defense, she starts a hot affair with whoever this resort's equivalent is of Austin Stowell's season 1 resort-based sex-worker character.
• Some awful WASPy influencer mom who refuses to discipline her children under the guise of "gentle parenting" spills a big glass of Hawaiian punch on her expensive beach towels, so Harper strong-arm pushes the child into the pool when no one is looking.
• I'm changing my prediction from last time — Harper is the character that Michael Imperioli's character's son becomes fixated on, and because of her frequent emasculation of him for being such a pest, he develops an obsession with hot, mean women.
• She kills someone. Hopefully her husband.

Again, not an exhaustive list, but if I'm allowed to have Aubrey Plaza terrorize rich people, I am shooting for the moon.