The Raid Remake Coming To Netflix With Michael Bay Producing

I really don't like to be the harbinger of news that will absolutely throw you into a frothing frenzy of anger, but Netflix is remaking Gareth Evans' pitch-perfect triumph "The Raid," and bringing along Michael Bay and Patrick Hughes, the guy who directed no one's favorite installment of "The Expendables." Hollywood has been obsessed with trying to Americanize the Indonesian masterpiece since the film's debut back in 2011, but now with Netflix, Michael Bay, and "The Raid" distributors XYZ Films on board, it's finally happening. This new version will reportedly explore Philadelphia's drug-infested 'Badlands' area where an elite undercover DEA task force will have to push through a slew of cartel informants to take down a kingpin. I'm trying hard not to be that person who judges something's existence without seeing any footage, but my Spider-Senses are telling me they're going to trade out the brilliant martial arts of the original in exchange from some racially charged, copaganda gun porn, and I do not want it.

"We're incredibly excited about Patrick's unique vision for this film," the producers told Deadline. "It's a distinctly original take on the material, which promises to pay great respect to the original film while also bringing a fresh approach and perspective that will set its own course in the action genre." I'm glad someone is excited, because I feel like the internet is going to feel the complete opposite about Americanizing "The Raid" and including Bay-isms of 360-degree pans, blatant product placement, unnecessary explosions, CGI for some reason, random unattainably hot women, slow-motion, and a distinct lack of Iko Uwais and Yayan Ruhian.

Before someone tries to compare this to the upcoming remake of "Train to Busan," this is an apples to oranges situation. While nobody asked for the former's remake, at least "Last Train to New York" nabbed international treasure and maestro of violence Timo Tjahjanto to handle the directorial duties. Tjahjanto knows exactly how to tackle a property as beloved as "Train to Busan," and that film is in more than capable hands. Calling that remake "white-washed" isn't quite accurate, as Tjahjanto isn't white and therefore will thankfully bring his own cultural influences to the work.

As for this remake of "The Raid," I mean no personal disrespect to Patrick Hughes, but my skepticism bells are ringing out of control. His latest venture, "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard," boasts a 27% on Rotten Tomatoes and our own review of the film described it as "snarky, slapdash, and really just plain annoying to watch." That's, uhhhh, not the kind of energy that a film like "The Raid" needs for success. Honestly, it should be a criminal offense to have Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, and Ryan Reynolds in a movie that's anything other than an absolute banger. There's no estimated release date for this new version of "The Raid" at this time, so at least we'll have plenty of time to brace ourselves for whatever the final product looks like. I hope we're all pleasantly surprised, but I'm not holding my breath.