The 25 Most Quotable Lines From Schitt's Creek

Many of us still haven't recovered from "Schitt's Creek" ending in 2020. Though the show is available to stream, the nearly two years since the finale have been tough. The show, which chronicled the misadventures of the formerly wealthy Rose family in the titular town of Schitt's Creek, was a warm, inviting story that combined humor and quirky characters with an earnest heart, and the promise that we can all become better people if we really try. The show was created by Dan Levy (who is making more stuff for Netflix now) and his father Eugene Levy, and the sense of familial love permeates the entire series. Don't be mistaken though, it's not a saccharine family sitcom, either. Like the title implies, "Schitt's Creek" does not shy away from the messier aspects of life, family, or love. 

One of the best aspects of the show, aside from, well, all of it, is the whip-smart dialogue. From Moira's bizarre bits of wisdom and extensive vocabulary and Johnny's well-meaning but out-of-touch ideas, to David's dry humor and Alexis' love of catchphrases and eyebrow-raising anecdotes, "Schitt's Creek" has plenty of iconic quotes to offer. What better way to celebrate the show than to highlight some of the best of the best? Grab a glass of fruit wine or one of Twyla's infamous green smoothies, and let's get into some of the most quotable lines from the run of "Schitt's Creek." 

"Schitt's Creek" has received a lot of praise and accolades for its portrayal of the LGBTQ community, particularly the wry pansexual David Rose (Dan Levy). After an unexpected tryst with his female friend, Stevie, she attempts to ask David about his sexuality while the two are shopping for a bottle of wine. Once David realizes what she is getting at, he explains his sexuality using a wine metaphor that many of us can employ the next time we try to explain our dating life to a confused relative. 

David does not just enjoy drinking red wine, or white wine, or just rosé. Instead, he is open to all varieties of wine that this world has to offer, in essence: "I like the wine, not the label." Not only is it a useful, simple way to explain one's sexuality via one of the best adult beverages out there, but it's a lovely example of the show's frank exploration of David's sexuality and identity. (Addison Peacock)

Oh, Moira Rose. Where would this world be without her? We would certainly have far fewer wigs, statement hats, and absolutely iconic quotes in Catherine O'Hara's unique, perfectly absurd accent. There's just no one like Moira Rose, and no one else could handle the burden of being that fabulous. This gem, one of an infinite treasure trove of Moira-isms, comes from the first episode of season 2, "Finding David." When David leaves town, and no one can find him, the family eventually tracks him to an Amish community several miles down the road. 

When the Roses reunite with their temporarily lost son, finding him crouching in a field like a gargoyle in a black cashmere sweater, Moira scolds him for his behavior. Though what he did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic, qualities that Moira can absolutely appreciate in a person, she has to emphasize that it was also the wrong thing to do. This line is a Moira Rose classic, a perfect glimpse at her character, the way she views the world, and her love for melodrama (when it doesn't inconvenience her). (Addison Peacock)

Speaking of fabulous Rose women, Alexis Rose, portrayed by Annie Murphy, is a stone cold icon. From her perfectly shaped eyebrows to the tip of her designer shoes, Alexis is a bubbly, adorable delight who spends the course of the show learning how to mature and truly care for herself and others. Before she landed in Schitt's Creek, Alexis spent her time jetting around the globe and getting herself into some major trouble. Some of her stories are classic socialite fare, like swapping jewelry with Hollywood It Girls, but sometimes Alexis tosses out a casual comment that's downright jarring. 

This particular quote is one of the best little Alexis lines that implies that, in spite of her sometimes shallow demeanor, Alexis Rose has lived a hell of a life. After David points out that he's not the only one in his family to have gone missing before, Alexis takes umbrage with that claim and points out his mistake. The FBI knew where she was the entire time, David!!! Glad you made it back, Queen. (Addison Peacock)

Few things are better than an argument between David and Alexis, and one of the show's best occurs in the season 5 premiere. After the gang video-calls Moira, who is on the set of "The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening," David and Alexis bicker over their respective romantic relationships. While Ted (Dustin Milligan) plans to take Alexis on a hike, David frets that his relationship with Patrick is cooling, all thanks to a quiz from a 1991 issue of M'Lady Magazine that says they "Need A Generator."

At this point in the show, David has softened to become easily the most normal member of his family. He's growing and maturing at a much faster rate than the rest of the Roses. After all, he's a business owner, and he's madly in love. That doesn't mean he's not up for a bit of verbal sparring with his sister, and it doesn't mean he can't deliver a cutting insult wrapped in a smile. The back-and-forth escalates until David, one foot practically out the door, finally gets the last word. "Mmm," he says. "Eat glass!" What a perfect way to exit a room. (Eric Langberg)

One of the most hilarious things about Moira Rose is her, shall we say, creative use of language. This delightful diva loves to drop an obscure vocabulary word, or place a foreign accent on a word when you would least expect it. A particularly fun example is the way Moira says the word "baby." There is no such thing as a baby in the Moira Rose world. No, no! Babies are for ordinary people. Moira is talking about "bébés."

In season 5, after Jocelyn (Jennifer Robinson) gives birth to an infant son, Moira expresses interest in the newborn bébé, referring to him exclusively that way in every conversation. Jocelyn and Roland (Chris Elliott) don't really have much of a choice but to go with it. After five seasons of Moira doing what she does, they're pretty much used to it at this point. Though it's a simple line, and a simple word, there are few simple joys in this world like repeating "bébé" in your best Moira Rose voice. (Addison Peacock)

When we all started watching "Schitt's Creek," we had no idea that we would be introduced to one of the greatest pieces of music this world has ever known. I am of course referring to the theme song of Alexis Rose's short-lived reality television show, "A Little Bit Alexis." The reality show is mentioned a few times throughout the show, but in season 5, episode 8, we all finally got to hear the song itself when Alexis auditions for the town production of "Cabaret." 

Annie Murphy wrote the lyrics herself, so we really have her to thank for all of the incredible lines in this piece of pop music brilliance. It's tough to pick a favorite line from the song when there are options like "I'm a cute huge yacht," and "Hide your diamonds, hide your exes," or even the chorus of "la la la la la la la." But, there is one clear winner when it comes to quoting the song, and that's its refrain and title: "A little bit Alexis." Aren't we all, deep down, a little bit Alexis? (Addison Peacock)

In the 13th episode of season 3, the Rose family forgets that it's David's birthday. He tries not to let it upset him; in typical David fashion, he prefers to talk around his emotions and avoid his feelings by making jokes. When Patrick shows him some genuine kindness at the store, it becomes clear that David isn't handling the rejection very well.

This is early on in David and Patrick's relationship, so it's lovely to see Patrick looking out for his new friend. Nevertheless, David delivers an incredibly relatable line laying out how his birthday is going to go: "I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early." Like many David lines, it works thanks to Dan Levy's delivery; David's kidding, but he's also not kidding, simultaneously seeking pity but also just being honest.

It's a funny line, but it's also a turning point in David and Patrick's relationship. Patrick's too much of a nice guy to let that plan stand, so instead he and David wind up going on what becomes their first date. A healthy cry and an early bedtime sounds nice; meeting the love of your life sounds even better. (Eric Langberg)

Sometimes cooking can be tricky, especially when you haven't cooked a meal by yourself in 30 years. In season 2, episode 2, "Family Dinner," Moira and David are tasked with cooking dinner for the family after Moira claims that she can handle preparing a meal. They commandeer Jocelyn's kitchen and attempt to cook chicken enchiladas from an old recipe. Unfortunately, neither David nor Moira is a particularly adept chef, and the rising tensions result in one of the best scenes in the entire show. 

While referring to the recipe, David and Moira reach a step that they cannot make heads or tails of: "Fold in the cheese." Looking at the bowl of shredded cheese and the pot of bubbling liquid in front of him, David demands to know what that could possibly mean. How do you fold cheese? Where does it go? Fold it into what? The two yell back and forth about the cheese, threatening to boil over just like the pot of sauce they're trying to prepare. 

This scene even inspired food publication "Delish" to make a tutorial video teaching "Schitt's Creek" fans how they can fold in the cheese at home. "You just...fold it in!" (Addison Peacock)

Eugene Levy has made a career out of playing dads who try to be cool and hip but fail miserably. After all, many audiences know him best as Jim's Dad from "American Pie," a character whose sex-positive attitude makes his son miserable. He's less permissive in "Schitt's Creek," perhaps a reflection of the fact that Levy felt Johnny Rose was closer to his real self than any character he's played.

In "Schitt's Creek," his kids are the two coolest, hippest kids in town ... or at least, they carry themselves like they are. Usually, this annoys Johnny to no end, but sometimes he tries to get on their level. In "Surprise Party," an episode from late in the show's first season, Johnny tries to convince David and Alexis that they should help plan a birthday party for their mother. The kids offer excuse after excuse until, finally, Johnny sticks his hand over David's mouth. "Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working," he says.

It's a perfectly mangled idiom, and when Alexis points that out — "Okay, that's not at all how that works ..." — Johnny one-ups himself. "Cancel your trip, Alexis, because the travel agent is out of the office," he adds. The kids wind up being involved in the birthday party after all, but it's we who have been given a gift: these two beautifully stupid kiss-offs. (Eric Langberg)

Having a way with words seems to run in the Rose family, and Alexis certainly takes after her mother when it comes to throwing out perfectly quotable nuggets of wisdom. In this season 3 episode, David is struggling with anxiety around taking the driving test, and Alexis attempts to get him to relax and get out of his own way. When David is attempting to call Alexis out for navigating life in an effortless way, she chimes in to correct him. She doesn't skate, she walks through life, in really nice shoes. 

The quote is simple, funny, and oh so Alexis, and it indirectly provides a little bit of philosophy we can all take with us (and print on our novelty coffee mugs). None of us should skate through life or race through it, if we can help it. We should follow Alexis' lead and walk through it in whatever nice shoes we can find. We're more likely to enjoy it that way. (Addison Peacock)

I don't know about you, but I could listen to Catherine O'Hara talk as Moira Rose all day, every day. I can't imagine ever getting tired of her elegance, her quirky mannerisms, or her theatrical manner of speech. My idea of a perfect world is one where Moira Rose walks around with me all day, offering input on the world around me and giving me wonderfully bizarre advice and pep talks. Maybe I'd eventually get tired of it, but sadly I'll never find out for sure. 

One incredible little piece of advice straight from Moira's statement-lipsticked lips is her stance on gossip. It's the devil's telephone, best to just hang up! Of course, Moira indulges in plenty of gossip herself, but that doesn't stop her from firing off a pithy slogan on it anyway. And you know she didn't get that from a bumper sticker or anything, that came straight from her brilliant mind. (Addison Peacock)

There are numerous running jokes laced throughout "Schitt's Creek." Most notable are all the puns related to the town name, including Chris Elliott's character Roland Schitt. More subtle, however, is the Rose family's favorite deflection when they simply don't want to engage with someone who's being ridiculous, or who's too low-class for them, or who's making reference to something that they haven't encountered because they're so out-of-touch. The Roses, especially David, love to say, "I don't know what that means."

The best deployment of that line is in "Motel Review," an episode from the third season. This is Patrick's first appearance in the series, and he tries to help David fill out an application for a business loan. When it becomes clear that David doesn't really have a business plan in mind and can't answer most of the questions about what he's looking to do with Rose Apothecary, Patrick says, "Battin' a thousand here, David." 

That's when David hits him with an, "I don't know what that means." It's funny because he's refusing to acknowledge a sports reference, but keep an eye on Patrick's reaction to that line. He finds David amusing, and it's not just that; we see David notice Patrick's reaction, too. It's the very first glimmer of what would become one of TV's best love stories, all thanks to a line that's easy to deploy in your own life when you just can't be bothered. (Eric Langberg)

Moira and drama are like a fish and water. She doesn't just need it to survive, she swims in it, she lives in it, she thrives in it. And there is nothing more dramatic than a news outlet falsely reporting your death, leading to droves of misled mourners celebrating your memory, sending flowers, gifts, and condolences in your honor. In season 4, episode 5, "RIP Moira Rose," Moira learns of an online rumor claiming that she is dead. 

Once her family's initial panic has been assuaged, Moira leans in and enjoys the posthumous spotlight until the attention begins to fade. Online virality is fickle, she finds, and so in order to get her name in the public conversation again, she plans to stage her reappearance and announce that she is, in fact, alive. She floats into her regular a cappella singing group, the Jazzagals, practice in a white dress, sweeps her arms wide, and proclaims the good news to all: "She hath risen." (Addison Peacock)

Something all of Moira's devoted fans understand is that she never does anything the conventional way. Moira doesn't just come at things like an average person! From her clothes and her massive wig collection to her larger-than-life response to strong emotions, everything with Moira is bigger (and, in my opinion, better). 

Even when she's giving motherly advice, Moira makes it all her own. When encouraging Alexis not to get ahead of herself, Moira warns her that they should not "count our poultry before it's incubated." Another classic bit of Moira wisdom, this quote takes the classic warning, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," and gives it that extra bit of Moira Rose flair. We're not just talking about chickens, here. They could be ducks, quail, pheasants, geese, any kind of bird you imagine. Just don't count it before its eggs are incubated and ready to hatch! (Addison Peacock)

Moira is a funny character when she's interacting with her family, but she may be even funnier when she's forced into situations with the local townspeople. In season 3 episode 6, "Murder Mystery," Moira is at a rehearsal with her vocal group The Jazzagals. Before she knows what's happening, she accidentally gets cornered into accepting an invitation to a murder mystery party hosted by Twyla (Sarah Levy). Moira wants nothing less than to attend this party, but no matter how many ways she tries to claim she'll be busy that night — before she knows what night it is — Twyla keeps finding new ways to extend the invitation. Finally, Moira declares, "I would be pleased to RSVP as ... pending!"

It's a perfect exchange; as usual, Moira can't be bothered, but she's too proud to be blatantly rude. This, of course, has the effect of making her seem even more rude. The best part of this scene, though, is the way the other Jazzagals watch Moira try to weasel her way out of the party. We're several seasons into the show at this point, so they're no longer as intimidated by her as they used to be. Instead, they look on with something like affection as Moira is left twisting in the wind. This is a show about selfish characters, but it's also one whose characters seem to enjoy each other's quirks, and there's no one quirkier than Moira Rose. (Eric Langberg)

Alexis is a character who's legendary for how out of touch she is. She makes the most extravagant things seem like they're boring and commonplace, casually name-dropping various princes and making her past life seem like a whirlwind adventure full of exotic locales and dangerous escapades. In other words, she's not necessarily a character you turn to for good advice.

In "Driving Test," the fourth episode from the third season of "Schitt's Creek," the family comes together to help David get a license. While Johnny is exasperated with his son, twisting David up into anxious knots, Alexis is far more laid-back about the whole thing. In fact, she tells David that no one really cares how he does on the test. At first, he's offended, but to our surprise, Alexis has a deeper point. "Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you," she tells him. She means that this is just another day on the job for the driving instructor, and the family has their own things going on, too. David needs to focus on himself and stop worrying about what other people think.

The irony, of course, is that Alexis understands her brother better than nearly anyone else. He's an anxious mess, and by delivering this nugget of wisdom wrapped in what feels like an insult, she's able to help ease his burden like only Alexis can. (Eric Langberg)

Often relegated to the role of the comedic straight man amongst their larger-than-life personalities, Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy) may not be as quotable as the other members of his family, but he still gets some pretty great lines from time to time. Johnny is a man with a good heart who loves his wife and his children, and usually has the best intentions in mind, but he's not always the most aware of the world at large. 

Like many of our dads, Johnny struggles with technology. While trying to help market the Rosebud Motel and bring it into the 21st century, Johnny has difficulty with incorporating technology and social media into his approach. He inadvertently prints a full URL on his custom coasters, for example. Even before the coaster misprint, though, they were probably doomed. When pitching his family on the idea, Johnny gives an example of what one of the coasters might say, and it's something that's not just an out-of-touch thing to say, but an impossible thing to do. Sorry Johnny, no one can tweet you on Facebook. But you're adorable, and we love you. (Addison Peacock)

This particular quote is from the pilot episode of the show when the Rose family is not adjusting well to their new lives in Schitt's Creek. This is especially true of David and Alexis who were pulled from their own independent lives and thrown into a single motel suite with their parents, sharing a bedroom for the first time in their lives. While fighting over where they're going to sleep, Alexis and David bicker about who gets the bed closest to the door. This spot would put whoever sleeps in it in more danger of getting murdered since the killer would naturally target the closest potential victim first. That's just how motel room murderers work, you know! 

Alexis wants the bed farther away from the door, and after arguing about it, finally snaps and says that she is going to take it. As she grabs her things and moves them to the bed, she yells, "You know what, David? You get murdered first, for once." And that's how you stand up for yourself! (Addison Peacock)

Depending on who you talk to, many fans agree that "Schitt's Creek" takes a minute to find its footing. By episode 6, "Wine and Roses," the show's quirky humor and love of language are on full display. At that point, Catherine O'Hara has figured out the Moira Rose voice, and the episode is built around a bravura showcase for what a deliciously demented character she would turn out to be.

At this point in the series, the family is still reeling from the loss of their fortune. Johnny gets in touch with Herb Ertlinger, an old friend, and he signs Moira up to be the spokesperson for Herb's line of fruit wines. The only problem is, Moira can't get the lines out for the life of her. "Fruit wine" becomes "flute line," "Moira" becomes "Moina," and so on, a look of horror slowly breaking over her face.

In the episode's final moments, Moira almost gets there. "You'll remember the experience, and you'll remember the name," she says. To her shock and our delight, "Herb Ertlinger" becomes a barrage of mangled insanity like "Burt Herngeif," "Irv Herblinger," "Bing Livehaanger," and finally, "Bingo Lingf***er." Who among us hasn't tried to mimic O'Hara's increasingly-panicked delivery of these lines? We'll remember the name "Herb Ertlinger" indeed. (Eric Langberg)

At its core, "Schitt's Creek" is a show about some extremely selfish people who learn to be ever-so-slightly less selfish by the time the series concludes. (In fact, some might say that watching "Schitt's Creek" makes the audience better people, too.) In the season 4 premiere, "Dead Guy In Room 4," the family has to pull together to do something about a guest who has expired at the motel. The only trouble is, David's busy opening his new store, Alexis is off dealing with her romantic entanglements, and Moira ... well, Moira just can't be bothered.

When David asks how she's spending her day, Moira offers up one of the lamest excuses ever. "I'm positively bedeviled with meetings, et cetera," she says, eyes searching the ceiling, as though a better excuse might be written above David's head. Absolutely nobody believes that Moira has even one meeting scheduled, but how can you argue with someone like that?

As with many Moira lines, it's an ultra-quotable way to get out of something you simply don't want to do. Not interested in hanging out with a friend who's been annoying you? Can't convince yourself to get up off the couch and do some laundry? You're not lazy or inconsiderate; you're positively bedeviled with meetings, et cetera! (Eric Langberg)

Maybe using two quotes from the same scene is cheating, but it's a perfect scene and also you can't stop me. We return to the scene of the chicken enchilada crime as David and Moira engage in an epic culinary struggle for the ages. 

"Fold in the cheese" is an iconic quote from this scene, but it's not the only great moment. There is also the incredible exchange between Moira and David when she says, "I cannot teach you everything!" and he fires back, "Can you teach me one thing?!" My other favorite bit from this scene is Moira's absolute terror as the sauce they are cooking begins to bubble in its pot. You know, the thing that hot liquid does when you cook it in a pot on a stove? In her usual high-strung way, Moira does not take to this development well, and she cries out like a tragic Shakespearean heroine, "David! What does burning smell like?!?!" It's the perfect quote for any cooking mishap. (Addison Peacock)

So many Alexis quotes should be stitched on cute floral throw pillows — and that's a compliment. She holds a lot of brilliant thoughts in that impeccably-styled head of hers. One of her frequent sayings in response to new developments in her post-New York life is the optimistic, "Love that journey for me!" 

Not only is this a fun line and such a blast to quote, but it's wonderfully representative of Alexis' character as a whole. From the pilot to the show's finale, Alexis Rose goes on quite a journey as a person. She starts the show shallow and selfish. She's not evil or malicious but rather deeply self-centered and bad at any kind of introspection. As the show goes on, she faces some harsh truths about herself, the world she lives in now, and the world she left behind. Alexis retains her sense of fun and her playfulness, but she also learns to respect the needs of others, to work hard, and to evaluate her place in the world. It's honestly hard not to be proud of her. Love that journey for you, Alexis. And love that journey for us, getting to watch. (Addison Peacock)

In the second season episode "Moira's Nudes," Moira learns that there are rumors that nude photos from early in her career are circulating somewhere on social media. In typical Moira Rose fashion, she has no idea how to use the computer, so she tasks David with trying to help her find them. In typical "Schitt's Creek" fashion, the storyline is upended when we realize Moira is actually upset the nudes are hard to find, not embarrassed that they exist at all. She wants people to want to see her naked, to prove to herself that she's still as desirable as she used to be.

That's where this classic line comes in. As the episode wraps up, Moira delivers an incredible, inspirational monologue to Stevie, a character she's never particularly had much time for. "Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now," Moira recommends. It's not the worst advice in the world, even bordering on poignant; Moira wants to make sure Stevie is appreciating her youth while she still has it. 

Of course, Moira can't resist but slip an insult or two in there, too. She adds, "You may currently think, 'Oh, I'm too spooky,' or, 'Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.'" (Ah, the gift that is Catherine O'Hara saying "tiny boobies" in the Moira Rose voice!) "But believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, 'Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!'" (Eric Langberg)

Alexis Rose truly is the queen of quotable catchphrases, and there is no quote more associated with "Schitt's Creek" than this one. There's just no competing with the best. Alexis tends to use this phrase whenever David says something particularly objectionable, and it never gets old. Fans of the show are so devoted to the phrase that there are compilation videos dedicated to every time Alexis utters it onscreen. Though Alexis' character is more than just her most notable quotable, there is really nothing quite like seeing Annie Murphy fire off a well-timed "Ew, David!"

"Ew, David!" can be used in truly any situation, whether or not you're actually talking to someone named David. Use it as an expression of frustration, horror, joy, disdain, or any of the dozens of strong emotions life can throw at you. Out of all of the quotes on this list, this is the one that you can truly carry with you forever. It's more than just a quote. It's a lifestyle. (Addison Peacock)

David's relationship with Patrick is simply the best "Schitt's Creek" romance, but Alexis' love for Ted comes in close second. The hunky veterinarian captures Alexis' heart early in the series, and the two spend several seasons circling one another. By the time the season 4 premiere rolls around, however, they're on a break.

This is the episode where there's a dead guy at the motel, so Alexis heads to the vet, hoping to crash with Ted for the night. To her dismay, he's got other plans for his apartment that night. Namely, he wants to use it for sex. Sex with Heather, that is, who Alexis calls "the woman who wanted you to wash her cat all the time." Even at her worst moments, Alexis is usually nothing if not composed, a put-together princess of wealth and luxury. Here, though, Annie Murphy lets the mask slip just a bit and shows us Alexis' openly-jealous side, delivered as always with a wide-eyed smile and that iconically limp wrist. "Thirsty little thing, isn't she?" Alexis says, providing one of the show's most giffable moments. It's a great line for when your friend is openly lusting after someone, as Alexis is here. Hey, Alexis ... are we still talking about Heather? (Eric Langberg)

If you've had your "Schitt's Creek" fix and are looking for other ultra-quotable comedies, check out 14 shows like "Schitt's Creek" you need to see next.