The Book Of Boba Fett Proves That Boba Fett Really Needs A Better Skincare Routine

This article contains minor spoilers for the first episode of "The Book of Boba Fett."

In the wake of today's premiere of "The Book of Boba Fett" on Disney+, a story over 40 years in the making, genius "Star Wars" fans are already working hard on putting together the pieces of what the show may have in store, and catching casual fans up to speed with how Boba Fett's adventures fit in the timeline of "Star Wars." There are days where I wish I was blessed with the ability to retain encyclopedic knowledge of all things "Star Wars," but I humbly accept that I have used up too much brain space remembering the lyrics to every song from "Phantom of the Paradise" and knowing how to differentiate between the lesbian vampire films of the 1970s to ever claim to fully understand the complex nuances of "Star Wars" canon. That said, I love the "Star Wars" films, I love the worlds that have been created, and I am absolutely one of those doofy marks that grew up claiming Boba Fett was my favorite character despite his minimal screen time.

We first see everyone's favorite bounty hunter awaking from a bacta bath, and thank some sort of god for that, because post-Sarlacc pit, our man was in bad shape. He was left for dead, miraculously survived, and now must endure the harsh conditions of Tatooine without any protective gear. I may not have the mind to dissect the intricacies of the political landscape of the desert planet, but I sure as s*** know that the Tusken Raiders and Jawas are smart for keeping themselves covered in cloaks because Boba Fett needs to find a moisture farmer for his skin, immediately.

I admit, this article is low-key a little dumb, but "Star Wars" lore has its own fair share of dumb (I'm looking at you, midichlorians) so I don't think my genuine concern for Boba Fett's complexion is THAT frivolous. First of all, I need to know what provides the regenerative properties in a bacta bath and where I can buy it, because post-pit Boba's face looks like every gnarly, flaky foot shown in an infomercial for callus remover and that bath gives him the glow up of a lifetime. But even after Fett is back to looking as hunky as someone like, say, Temuera Morrison, the man willingly walks out of the Sanctuary cantina and under Tatooine's TWO suns. Someone get him some SPF Order 66, STAT!

My guy, you already know what it feels like to have your flesh exist in a state somewhere between a komodo dragon shedding scales and a rice cake, you can't be this reckless with your epidermis! It physically pained me watching him do battle with that terrifying kaiju sand lizard, because I kept thinking about his skin cracking and remembering the sensation of being super sunburned only for my little sister to slap my skin for the lols. We're definitely going to see more of fried-face Fett as the show continues on, and I can only hope that at some point, he digs deep enough in the sands to find not just water, but maybe some cocoa butter as well.

At the very least, he should get some tips from the flawless Garsa Fwip. Girl, give me your secrets.