Be A Good Consumer And Watch A Short Film For Zara Directed By Luca Guadagnino And Starring John C. Reilly

The next time you're in the market for a sheer lace shirt, some distressed velvet suit pants, a bright green faux fur jacket, or a Micky Mouse Christmas sweater, remember, Zara doesn't just do clothes, they're making movies. That's right, the same place that sells lime green sequin wrap dresses is doling short, but still surprisingly long films starring John C. Reilly as Santa Claus. 

Why is this happening? Because they have more money than God and they want to spend it while charging you steadily increasing prices for a top that you'll feel resigned to donate after wearing it once and realizing the material is itchy and the fit is weird. That's Zara, baby. They've been tricking you into buying their high fashion knock-offs since lookbook.nu was a thing, and they're not going to stop anytime soon. In the words of Taylor Swift, "'Tis the damn season."

Ah yes, the holidays. The season to buy stuff and gift stuff and to spend more time in malls than is mentally healthy and/or physically healthy. (You know, because of Covid.) Zara has upped the ante this year and kicked off their grand scheme to convince you to buy a $400 jacquard coat with a jaunty little Christmas movie called "O Night Divine." I don't know what's divine about paying your workers "sub-poverty wages," but I guess we're all about to find out!

Zara has clearly also been doing a little holiday shopping this year, because they were able to buy a suite of talented actors and crew members for this casual Christmas project. "O Night Divine" is directed by Luca Guadagnino ("Call Me By Your Name"), shot by Arseni Khachaturan ("Beginning") and written by Michael Mitnick ("Vinyl"). The film stars the aforementioned Reilly, plus Alex Wolff ("Hereditary"), Hailey Gates ("Uncut Gems"), Shi Yang Shi, Chloe Park, Samia Benazzouz, Valerio Santucci, Francesca Figus and Tania Hanyoung Park.

Guadagnino and Zara are far from the first major director and major retailer collaboration. In 2016, Wes Anderson did a special little H&M commercial to celebrate the holiday season (he even inspired Bergdorf Goodman's 2021 holiday short, "The Present Moment"), Marielle Heller has teamed up with Kate Spade, Asif Kapadia has worked with Burberry, and Martin Scorsese has collabed with Dolce & Gabbana.

It's hot and cool and fun to make a very fancy art-y commercial, but that's the key word. Zara might be able to bust out a 40-plus minute short film and cast a ton of talented people and film it all in a beautiful place (or at least a soundstage that looks like a beautiful place), but at the end of the day, it's just a very long, and probably a very expensive, commercial. Happy holidays, indeed.