LG Introduces 325-Inch Television That Costs $1.7 Million, Guillotine Not Included

Back in the early 1990s, my dad won a newspaper sweepstakes and our family became the first on the block to own a front projection big screen TV. The thing weighed more than any human being in our family and there's a high probability I learned every curse word in the book listening to my dad and his buddies transport it downstairs. The front panel pulled out exposing a mirror for the three-color-projectors to combine and generate the image, it was absolutely unwatchable in daylight, and if the projectors were even slightly out of sync, the image would blur and look like trying to watch something in 3-D without glasses on. Despite it all, that TV was the height of luxury and a status symbol for my poor, Midwestern family.

Anyway, now you can buy a television that can turn your home into something out of Disney's Smart House, and all of us meager peasants with our paltry flat screens might as well start wearing barrels as clothing. Unless we win the lottery or someone like Jeff Bezos starts feeling mighty generous, the majority of us will forever live in the shadow of the unattainable wall-sized television.

In an attempt to compete with Sony and Samsung, which have also revealed obscenely large microLED televisions over the years, LG is looking to crush the competition with their unfathomably massive 325-inch LED TV. The television displays in 8K resolution, guaranteeing that anyone watching will not only be incapable of seeing the entire image at once unless seated on the opposite end of the house but also have their senses completely overwhelmed with quality so good our brains might not even be able to process it.

To understand just how huge this thing is, I've compiled some size comparisons for your convenience. LG's gargantuan beast is just shy of a first down in football and is about half the height of the freaking Hollywood sign.

LG hasn't released pricing for their full lineup of mega-TVs, but according to CNET, the hulking set will be somewhere around $1.7 million. But don't worry, it features a complimentary five-year customer service package which LG values at $30,000. It's wild that we live in a society where a wall-sized television and the ability to retire comfortably at a decent age is the exact same price.

Fortunately, this borderline electronic Kaiju isn't just ginormous; it's also state-of-the-art. Unlike most LED TVs, this one doesn't use an LCD layer to create pixels. Instead, the TV uses LED diodes alone (three for each pixel) to provide more vibrant colors and truer contrast and is able to do so without the risk of burn-in. The massive size also allows for different panels to present different images, so it sounds like you'll be able to turn your television into something resembling a multi-player view in a video game.

However, at 2,222 pounds, the set does weigh more than a Mitsubishi Mirage. 

Don't ask your dad to try and set this up for you, it requires custom installation.