Here's Where You Can Stream Or Rent Every Harry Potter Movie

(Welcome to Where to Watch, which provides a clear and simple answer to the question, "Hey, where can I watch this thing?" In this edition: the Harry Potter franchise.)

The "Harry Potter" film franchise is now streaming, and streaming entirely in the same place! If you're wondering where, I'm here to help. If you're wondering why I can't just tell you right here, well, that's not how this works, folks. Just stay with me here. The franchise, which follows a small magic boy who becomes a small magic man, remains popular, so if you're hoping to stream it, you're in luck. 

And for the sake of clarity, I'm not including the "Fantastic Beasts" movies here, because c'mon, no one cares about them. 

Where to stream: HBO Max

Meet Harry Potter! He lives in a broom closet, or something like that, under some steps. His guardians are comically cruel to him, his parents are dead, and he wears glasses, so he's a nerd. What a terrible life. But fate has plans for Harry! Those plans involve going to Hogwarts, a posh school for wizard kids. There, Harry meets people who will become his lifelong friends, including Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Richard Harris before he transforms into Michael Gambon. Also on hand: Alan Rickman wearing a robe. In the U.K., this movie is called "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone," but here in America, it's called "the Sorcerer's Stone," because Americans are stupid and the word "philosopher" scares us. 

Where to stream: HBO Max

Harry and the gang are back! In "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," there's a monster on the loose at Hogwarts. Kenneth Branagh then arrives to ham things up, and Jason Isaacs joins the franchise and really sinks his teeth into his role, Mr. Evil Blond Wig. Also, to get to the Chamber of Secrets, you have to go through a haunted bathroom. Man, no wonder these movies made so much money. Where do they come up with this stuff?

Where to stream: HBO Max

Directed by Alfonso Cuarón, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" is the best of "Harry Potter" movies, without question. It has style, it has grace, it has Gary Oldman yelling a lot. What more do you need? How about some spooky-looking Dementors of Azkaban? It has that, too. And if all that weren't enough, there's also a werewolf. Cinema.

Where to stream: HBO Max

Things start to get much darker with "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." The evil Lord Voldemort is reborn, played by Ralph Fiennes with no nose. Also: a student just straight-up dies, which is pretty darn bleak. That student would be Cedric Diggory, played by Robert Pattinson. Pattinson would go on to star in another popular YA-centric book adaptation. I'm talking, of course, about Claire Denis' "High Life." 

Where to stream: HBO Max

To paraphrase Will Smith, adult wizards just don't understand. In "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," Harry tells the adults in his life that Voldemort is back and no one believes him, probably because he's such a little nerd. The students then decide to stage a rebellion, forming the Order of the Phoenix. Meanwhile, Harry's headmaster/friend Dumbledore completely abandons him like a real jerk. But there's a method to his jerkiness, just wait and see. 

Where to stream: HBO Max

In "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," Harry finds a book. Wow, pretty exciting stuff. Also, Alan Rickman looks directly into the camera at the end of the film and says, "I am the Half-Blood Prince." No one else could sell that line, but Alan Rickman could. I sure do miss him. 

Where to stream: HBO Max

It's the beginning of the end for Harry and the gang. Studios love money, and whenever a book series adaptation is drawing to an end, producers perk up and say, "What if we split the final installment into multiple parts, and make more money?" And then everyone laughs and claps each other on the back before leaving work at noon. It's a good life. Oh, anyway, there's one more movie left in the series. 

Where to stream: HBO Max

It's all been leading to this: the grand finale where Harry and his friends fight against Voldemort and his rogue's gallery. You know who I mean: Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, The Joker, Crazy Quilt, Bizzaro, etc. Then it all culminates with a scene where stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson wear wigs and bald caps and fake wrinkles on their face. That's the magic of movies, friends.