Fans Of Joaquin Phoenix's 'Joker' Can Celebrate With This Nightmare-Inducing Baby Figure

Nope. Don't like that. Not one bit.

There's a lot to unpack when it comes to the Joaquin Phoenix Joker film. Some love it, some hate it, and we can debate all day long about its merits and where it sits in the modern superhero pantheon. But we, as a society, can all agree that whatever the hell JKBaby is, it's a bad idea. Right?

Listen, I'm not naive. I know there's a lot of weird geek stuff out there. You want a sexy Freddy Krueger statue? It's just a quick Google search away! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. But a toddler Joker? Specifically this sociopathic "gritty" version of the character? Get out of here.

I collect some weird stuff. I love original pulp cover art, vintage movie posters, and comic art, and a lot of that stuff is funky and weird. The pulp covers I have depict wartime carnage, back-alley murders, ghosts and skulls, and whatnot, but one thing I'll never have in my house is a toy of a toddler smoking a cigarette. That just feels like bad karma to me.

But I might be alone here because this weirdly lifelike representation of baby Joaquin Phoenix is sold out at FavorGK. Yes, that means a lot of people (ironically or not) shelled out $90 for this creepy little dude.

It'd be one thing if this was, say, a Batman: The Animated Series baby Joker. I mean, it would still be weird as all hell, but I can follow the thought process to Muppet Babies-ing that Joker into a toy. This would be like making a baby Travis Bickle toy and it selling out immediately. "You lookin' at me, ma? You lookin' at me?"

Is this the fallout from Baby Yoda? Everything that hits pop culture has to have an infant version of it somewhere because the fans will eat it up? What's next? Baby Pennywise? Baby Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark? A Conjuring universe filled with evil Nun babies and stuff?

I'm trying very hard not to be negative here. Love what you love, buy what makes you happy, go with God. But...look at this thing! It has all the creepiness of some porcelain monstrosity your grandmother would have on her mantle place and it'll remind you of public shootings to boot! Just what comic book movie fans have always wanted!

Here's one more last look at this nightmare fuel and all the accessories he comes with:

Shivers

This dude's giving me Gage from Pet Sematary vibes and I hate it. I hate it so much, you guys.