Let's Examine The Truly Strange 'Venom' Song Eminem Just Released

"Knock knock, let the devil in!" shouts Eminem on his new song "Venom", and it just gets worse/more amazing from there. The song appears on Eminem's new surprise album Kamikaze, and is also featured in the new Venom movie, starring Tom Hardy as a slime monster. For nearly five minutes, Eminem raps about Gandhi, Edgar Allen Poe, and Elliot from E.T.. What does any of this have to do with Venom? I have no idea. Hear the Venom song below!

Back in the late '80s/early '90s, movies – particularly genre movies, like horror – would conclude with a rap song about the movie. It was a glorious, innocent time when people would compose raps about Maniac Cop and The Monster Squad. The trend is back, in a big, silly way with Eminem's new song "Venom." The song arrived unexpectedly when the rapper dropped a surprise album today, and one can only assume this musical ditty will be blasting from the surround sound speakers as the Venom end credits roll.

Let's take a look at some of the lyrics of this musical masterpiece, shall we?

I got a song filled with s*** for the strong willed

When the world gives you a raw deal

Set you off till you

Scream, piss off, screw you

When it talks to you like you don't belong

Or tells you you're in the wrong field

When's something's in your mitochondrial

'Cause it latched on to you, like

Alright, right off the bat, Eminem isn't mincing words. "I got a song filled with s***" is how "Venom" starts. It's like a warning shot across the bow. "I hope you're ready," he's saying, "because this song is filled with s***." Someone should've advised him to change it to "a song filled with turds", since Venom loves talking about turds in the wind, but I guess that would screw up the rhythm of the song. From there, he launches into railing against the world, especially when the world "gives you a raw deal", and let's face it: we've all been there. I guess this song is supposed to be from the point of view of Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock? And he's pissed at the world? And he's soon going to climb out of his rut with the help of the Venom symbiote? I'm just guessing here, I really don't know.

Knock knock, let the devil in, malevolent

As I've ever been, head is spinnin' and this medicine

Screaming, "L-l-l-let us in"

L-l-lick like a salad bowl, Edgar Allen Poe

Here is where things really start to go off the rails. "Knock knock, let the devil in" is fine. I like it. It's like the symbiote, aka THE DEVIL, is asking to be let in – to bond with Eddie Brock and become a giant slimy monster that eats heads. I'm with you so far, Eminem. But then things take a very sharp turn with "L-l-lick like a salad bowl, Edgar Allen Poe." Hmm? What in the fuck does that mean? Was Edgar Allen Poe known for licking salad bowls? Did Edgar Allen Poe ever eat a salad in his life? Is Edgar Allen Poe a character in Venom? I really hope so. Maybe there's a flashback to the symbiote bonding with Edgar Allen Poe, inspiring him to write his tales of terror. If so, Venom is the best movie ever made.

Venom

(I got that) Adrenaline momentum (venom)

Not knowing with 'em

Never gonna slow up in 'em

Ready to snap any moment-um

Thinking it's time to go get 'em

They ain't gonna know what hit 'em

(When they get bitten with the)

Venom

(I got that) Adrenaline momentum (venom)

Not knowing with 'em

Never gonna slow up in 'em

Ready to snap any moment-um

Thinking it's time to go get 'em

They ain't gonna know what hit 'em

(When they get bit with the)

Here's the chorus, in full. It basically consists of Eminem ending every line with "em" or "um" so it will rhyme with "Venom." "Ready to snap any moment-um" is a particularly nice turn of phrase. Bravo.

I said, "Knock knock, let the devil in, alien"

E-E-Elliot phone home, ain't no telling when this choke hold

On this game will end, I'm loco

Became a symbiote, so

My fangs are in your throat, ho

You're steppin' in with my

Venom

Put the ballpoint pen 'em

The "knock knock, let the devil in" is back, but this time, Em ends it with "alien", which in turn inspires him to bring up Elliot from E.T. This sort of makes sense, since the symbiote is technically an alien. Speaking of which, Eminem does manage to fit "sybmiote" into this song, and he actually pronounces it correctly – "sim-BEE-oht", unlike Venom co-star Jenny Slate, who pronounces it as "sim-BYE-oat" in the Venom trailer. "My fangs are in your throat, ho" is a bit unnecessary – do we need to bring hoes into this? Before you can think on that too much, the verse concludes with "ballpoint pen 'em", because that rhymes with "Venom." Pretty good.

Venom lets the devil in October 5, 2018.