It's Got A Death Curse: Ranking All 181 'Friday The 13th' Kills (Part One)

At my count, 181 people are killed during the course of the Friday the 13th movie series.

I know this because I've spent the past week or so revisiting this iconic slasher horror series, which stars Jason Voorhees, the unstoppable hillbilly serial killer who usually wears a hockey mask, is sometimes a zombie, and always leaves a trail of corpses wherever he goes. A Friday the 13th movie is only as good as its kills – we watch these movies to see just how many bizarre, bloody and creative ways this lumbering monster can take down his victims. Naturally, some kills are better than others.

And that is why I'm going to rank them from worst to best.

This list is a sequel of sorts sorts to an article I wrote at ScreenCrush a few years ago where I ranked all of Freddy Krueger's kills throughout the A Nightmare on Elm Street series. That was easy enough – over the course of seven movies and one remake, Freddy claimed 34 victims, a totally reasonable, easy-to-comprehend number.

But Jason Voorhees? He's something else. He sometimes kills close to 34 victims in a single movie. He's a machine. And unlike Freddy, who transforms each of his kills into a piece of surreal and deranged performance art that acts as a bonafide special effects set piece, Jason is a more workmanlike killer. He seemingly takes no pleasure in his murder sprees, generally taking down his victims as quickly and efficiently as possible before moving on to the next pot-smoking, sex-having teen. While Freddy's kills all stand out and stand alone (for better and worse), many of Jason's victims blend together after awhile. Keep that in mind as you peruse through the back half of this list, with its more tired, more bland kills.

No list can be completed without a few rules and regulations, so this list was completed by following these criteria:

And now...it begins. Where possible, I've included video embeds of the various kills, so feel free to play along at home. Oh, and it should go without saying that this post is very, very NSFW.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victims: Coroner Phil, Deputy Josh, Robert the news anchor, and Officer RandyThe Gory Details: I struggled with whether or not to include these victims on the list for two reasons. First, Jason doesn't directly kill them – his demonic presence leaps from his obliterated corpse and takes over a host of new bodies to continue his rampage. Second, they represent the single worst decision made throughout the entire series, the nadir in a franchise with many valleys. After eight previous movies, the retconning of Jason into a mystical, supernatural force that can take over new bodies is downright insulting. But since him possessing these four ultimately leads to their bodies breaking down and melting, I decided to include them, albeit in dead last.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part 2The Victim: TerryThe Gory Details: Terry stumbles across the dead body of her jerk boyfriend and dies offscreen, only for her seemingly untouched corpse to pop up a little later. The "delayed reveal of a victim" is a common trope throughout these movies, but this one feels pretty uninspired.

The Film: Friday the 13thThe Victim: NedThe Gory Details: Goofy Ned wanders away from everyone else, only for his dead body to end up in the top bunk with a cut throat while his buddies get it on in the same room. All offscreen deaths in this series have to directly compete with onscreen deaths and this one is just...insert shrugging emoticon.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: DukeThe Gory Details: You know you have a problem when your heroes stumble across a dead body and the camera zooms in on his lifeless face and your first reaction is "Wait, who's that guy?"

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: Mrs. JarvisThe Gory Details: We don't see Mrs. Jarvis die and we don't even see her corpse. But since she seems like an awfully nice lady doing a fine job of raising two kids alone, maybe it's a good thing that the film doesn't dwell on her untimely demise.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: VickiThe Gory Details: I'd like to tell you exactly how Jason kills Vicki, a waitress who happens to be at the diner when Jason busts in and rampages, but I have no idea. It's that poorly lit and that incomprehensible and I don't have the energy to dwell on one of the worst kills in the worst movie in the series.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: AlexisThe Gory Details: Slashed to death by Coroner Phil, who has been possessed by the evil spirit of Jason. Ugh. Moving on.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: Officer RyanThe Gory Details: Jason flings Officer Ryan against a locker in the police station, leaving a quick blood stain. Uninspired!

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: PeteThe Gory Details: This is the first "throat slashed by machete" we get in this ranking and it will not be the last. But this one is the least inspired and least effective machete throat cut we get in the entire series, a tension-free, nearly blood-free affair that makes you wonder if the make-up department simply ran out of money when it was time to film this kill.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: AnitaThe Gory Details: After tormenting her boyfriend as he attempts to take care of some personal business, Anita's throat is swiftly cut. Zzzzz.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: JoJoThe Gory Details: With some of the weaker Friday the 13th deaths, you can't help but wonder if the victim is actually dead at all. Gang member JoJo getting flung into a steaming pipe in a New York City back alley sure looks like it hurts, but it also looks perfectly survivable. This will not do!

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victims: Officer Mark and Officer BryanThe Gory Details: Jason smashes Officer Mark and Officer Bryan's heads together, killing both of them instantly. It sounds fun, but the bloodless execution is lacking.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: JakeThe Gory Details: Oh, we will soon lose count of the number of people who are ended by a swift machete chop to the head. This is one of them.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: JaneThe Gory Details: After being stabbed with a tent spike, Jane is impaled on a nearby tree. We've seen this before, we'll see it again, and almost every other iteration of this kill is done better.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: VioletThe Gory Details: Although noteworthy for just how long we watch Violet dance around her room before her sudden demise, this kill is too brief and too simple to linger in the mind. That's the problem with many of the murders committed by Jason imposter Roy Burns (henceforth known as Faux-Jason) in Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning: he racks up one hell of a body count while often lacking the pizzazz of his predecessor.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: LukeThe Gory Details: Luke does offscreen after his girlfriend dies the best death in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Her death is nutty enough to drag his unseen death up a few spots.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: RobinThe Gory Details: This is not the first time Jason has killed someone by flinging them out the second story window, but it is certainly the weakest of them.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: BenThe Gory Details: Jason Voorhees crushes many heads with his bare hands during the course of these movies. This is the least interesting of the head crushes.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Police OfficerThe Gory Details: A significant portion of this list involves small town police officers underestimating the situation at hand and getting killed for it. This applies to New York City cops, as this ill-rated policeman is dragged offscreen by Jason.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: SuziThe Gory Details: The worst actress in the entire series (which is really saying something) gets stabbed with a spear after Jason stalks her boyfriend's yacht.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: Creighton DukeThe Gory Details: After building him up to be Jason's greatest human adversary yet, Creighton Duke, bounty hunter and macho man and Jason Voorhees expert, is killed with a lame, back-breaking bear hug.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: RaymondThe Gory Details: Another one of part five's all-too-fast, all-too-uninspired deaths. Then again, this one gets points for killing a character randomly introduced five minutes earlier, a humorous gotcha to anyone thinking we had just met a potential Jason imposter suspect.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: EddieThe Gory Details: Eddie opens his dead friend's birthday presents. Eddie gets chopped in the neck with a machete. There's possibly a lesson to be learned here.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: RobinThe Gory Details: Take a drink every time Jason Voorhees (or in this case, a guy pretending to be Jason Voorhees) stabs a victim through their bed. Then proceed to alcohol poisoning.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: DianaThe Gory Details: I guess it's kind of unique that Diana dies by having a knife sharpener rather than an actual knife thrown into her back? Anyway, her death is really about allowing her to gasp out some mystical mumbo jumbo about demon Jason with her final breaths. This freaking movie.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: DeckhandThe Gory Details: This morose, unnamed deckhand spends the bulk of his movie walking around the cruise ship, telling everyone in his path that they're doomed and that everyone is going to die. He's awesome! He's hilarious! And then he wanders into the frame with an axe in his back and dies without much fanfare.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: DavidThe Gory Details: David wanders downstairs for a midnight snack and gets a butcher knife in the belly instead. There's almost a visual pun here, but it's not enough.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: LocoThe Gory Details: Hey, it's our first pitchfork death! And it's kind of boring?

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: Security GuardThe Gory Details: The brave security guard moves down the corridor, gun drawn, steely determination in his eyes. The next time we see him, he's a lifeless corpse, smoothed under the big metal door Jason just knocked down on top of him.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: WadeThe Gory Details: Wade wanders the woods, blasting "Sister Christian" on his iPod. He takes a machete to the head, making him the first victim of the newly rebooted Jason Voorhees.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victims: Two unnamed FBI agentsThe Gory Details: Thinking that Jason is officially dead and gone, these two guys mock the undead redneck serial killer being examined in the neighboring room. Unfortunately, they mock him in front of the coroner, whose body has been taken over by Jason's demonic spirit. Smash cut to a news report...and their butchered corpses.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: BriggsThe Gory Details: One of many space marines to be taken out during Jason's brief tenure on board a spaceship in the distant future, Briggs is found impaled on a crane by his fellow soldiers.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Admiral RobertsonThe Gory Details: Why is this shitty cruise liner being captained by a guy in full Navy regalia? We are not given an answer before Jason cuts his throat with a machete and stands his corpse up at the wheel of the ship.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: AmandaThe Gory Details: Like many of the kills in Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Amanda's death is blood-free and boring, the result of the MPAA going to town on the film. However, this one is unique: it's the only time in twelve movies that a victim dies because someone else uses them as a human shield to save themselves from Jason. Specifically, the cowardly Dr. Crews puts her between himself and a spear-wielding Jason.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: MichaelThe Gory Details: Jason flings a tent spike into Michael's back and then picks him up by said tent spike. It sounds great, but the execution (badum-tsh) is lacking.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: ShelbyThe Gory Details: The owner of the local diner is drowned in his own deep fryer and his corpse tossed on the nearby grill. It sounds nastier than it is, since the whole thing is lit so poorly. But give them some points for doing something a little bit different.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: MilesThe Gory Details: Miles tries to escape Jason by climbing the cruise ship's mast. But Jason can teleport in this movie, so he meets him halfway and flings him to the deck, where he's impaled on an antennae.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: RussellThe Gory Details: Russell is noteworthy for being the second best preppy douchebag in the entire Friday the 13th series, but his death is a little underwhelming at first. After taking a quick axe to the face, Russell's corpse gets repurposed again and again throughout the movie, seemingly get moved around by Jason offscreen to provide fresh jump scares. The make-up on his chopped face, seen only on his corpse in later scenes, is one of Part VII's more impressive effects.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: LanaThe Gory Details: Lana forgets how to open a car door for a little while. When she does remember, she gets chopped in the chest with an axe.

The Film: Jason XThe Victims: Geko and SvenThe Gory Details: Sure, Jason could just march into any fight and win. So when he chooses to take down these two space marines by hanging out in the shadows and biding his time and playing the stealth game, it's a refreshing change of pace. For the record, Geko gets her throat cut and Sven gets his neck snapped.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Sanitation engineerThe Gory Details: Did you know that the sewers beneath New York City get flooded with toxic waste every night at midnight?! This unnamed sanitation engineer informs our heroes of this surely true NYC Fact before Jason arrives and beats him to death with his own wrench.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victim: RoyThe Gory Details: While Roy's paintball buddies get more dramatic onscreen deaths, Roy gets literally hacked to pieces by Jason and his machete offscreen. However, we know this because the movie lets the local cops stumble across his stomach-churning remains.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: StoneyThe Gory Details: Jason has burst through plenty of doors in his time, but the futuristic setting of Jason X forces him to patiently wait for a set of sliding Star Trek-esque doors to open before plunging his machete into Stoney's unsuspecting guts.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: FoxThe Gory Details: Jason pins plenty of people to plenty of things using plenty of sharp objects throughout this series. The slow reveal of Fox hanging from the barn rafters by a pitchfork through the neck is pretty okay.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: TamaraThe Gory Details: Tamara is slashed to death by a piece of broken glass mere minutes after Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan spends far too much time focusing on her blackmail plot against her high school biology teacher. This one isn't amazing, but it's noteworthy for being awfully mean for this particular era of the series, where the kills were generally a bit goofier.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: JoeyThe Gory Details: Jason literally destroys Joey's face with a quick elbow bash. Audacious and gross, even if the effect is a little cartoonish to completely sell.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Gang memberThe Gory Details: After this unnamed gang member gives this film's Final Girl an injection of heroin (!) so he can rape her (!!), Jason arrives to take the needle from him and impale it through his chest (!!!). A weird one, because it's Jason's powerful fists that do most of the work here, not the flimsy needle.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: AzraelThe Gory Details: Azrael's first violent encounter with Jason comes when the masked killer is still cryogenically frozen on a desolate future earth – his frozen, machete-wielding body tumbles over, chopping this irritating youngster's arm right off. His later demise, picked up by Jason and broken over his knee, is a little disappointing in comparison.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: EdnaThe Gory Details: Jason slams a car door on Edna's head, squishing it. Fast, but effective enough.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: JanessaThe Gory Details: This should've been a contender. Jason (recently upgraded into a cyborg) punches a hole in the side of the ship and Janessa is sucked through a metal grate and into the vacuum of space. Conceptually, it's disgusting and nasty and memorable! In execution, all we get is a quick sucking sound a little bit of gore hanging on that grate. Insert frowning emoticon!

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: Unnamed stoner jockThe Gory Details: An unnamed stoner jock guzzles Everclear at a cornfield rave (as you do) and insults Jason as he arrives at the party. Jason puts an end to his bullying by twisting his head completely around, which is pretty funny (and fairly cheesy thanks to that early '00s CGI).

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: SandraThe Gory Details: For a movie series predominately set around in a summer camp next to a lake, there are surprisingly few deaths by drowning. This Jaws-inspired kill gets the job done.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: EdnaThe Gory Details: Friday the 13th Part III spends far too much time with the Hocketts, a miserable, middle-aged married couple who can't seem to stand one another. But at least this excuse to pad out the running time on already short movie concludes with a decent knitting-needle-to-the-head gore gag, which isn't too shabby.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: JimThe Gory Details: What happens when Jason, usually a model student when it comes to accuracy, misses the mark with a speargun? It's simple: he impales his victim with the speargun itself.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: CrutchThe Gory Details: In the world of Friday the 13th, control panels are dangerous things that explode into flames and sparks at the slightest touch. This is also true in the future, when chief engineer Crutch is electrocuted after Jason slams his face into a panel. It's fine, but we'll get to better exploding panels soon enough.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: BillyThe Gory Details: One of the cliches associated with the Friday the 13th movies is that Jason hacks and slashes his way through a bunch of stoned teenagers. But when it comes to drugged-out characters biting it, none of them having anything on the middle-aged Billy, who is high as fuck on cocaine when an axe is slammed into the top of his head.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: LouThe Gory Details: The cowboy pilot of the spaceship Grendel dies when he's literally moments away from docking at a friendly space station. The death itself is offscreen, but the discovery of his body, or rather, the many pieces that were once his body, is plenty gruesome. This one gets bumped up a few spots for triggering one of the series' most jaw-dropping sequences, which we'll get to in a bit.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Chief Engineer CarlsonThe Gory Details: Admiral Robertson gives control of his crappy cruise ship over to his chief engineer, who is at the helm for about four seconds before Jason marches into the bridge and stabs him in the back with a harpoon. This kill, shot through the window of the bridge while a storm rages, is strangely artful for this junky movie.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: WardThe Gory Details: Jason breaks many, many bones (most spines and craniums) during his various murder sprees, but Ward is the only character in the entire series to suffer an actual compound fracture, with the bones breaking through the skin and everything. Ouch.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: DemonThe Gory Details: Getting murdered by a masked maniac is an awful thing to happen at any time, but it must be especially awful when you're just trying to take a shit. Demon eventually gets impaled with a metal rod through the wall of this outhouse, but only after he's terrorized while sitting on the toilet, a uniquely humiliating position.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: HaroldThe Gory Details: Speaking of bathroom deaths, Harold Hockett is killed with an axe to the chest moments after he finishes, uh, doing his business (we get to hear sound effects and everything). This means one thing and one thing only: Jason was watching him poop.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: MaddyThe Gory Details: In another movie, the nerdy girl giving herself a makeover so she can win over the hot guy she's crushing on would result in a very different outcome than getting killed with a sickle. Welcome to Friday the 13th. Hey, a sickle! This is the first and last time Jason would wield one of these.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: DanThe Gory Details: There's an alternate universe where Dan's Death is real top 10 material, but like so many of this entry's deaths, it's been cut to the bone. Still, there's something to be said for this hapless guy getting punches straight through the chest and getting his neck broken in one swift attack.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: DonnieThe Gory Details: As far as machete throat cuts go, Donnie's demise is pretty good. It mostly stands out because it's his hockey mask that Jason then steals from a nearby pile of junk, officially completing his iconic look.

The Film: Friday the 13thThe Victim: SteveThe Gory Details: Everyone told Steve that he shouldn't reopen Camp Crystal Lake, but did he listen? Nah. He dies offscreen, killed by Pamela Voorhees, only for his body to later pop up and scare the crap out of Alice, the film's sole survivor.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victim: Steven and AnnetteThe Gory Details: There are better implements and there are even better group impalements, but I can't help but enjoy just how quickly and ruthlessly Jason dispatches this couple with a sting stab before they can escape and warn the authorities.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: LindermanThe Gory Details: Linderman, the awkward nerd, is thrown against a wall hook by Jason and left in the woods by Kia, who promises to be back as soon as she can. But by this point, the movie is more concerned with the Battle Royale between Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, so Linderman just bleeds out. It's a weirdly sad death for a movie called Freddy vs. Jason.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: Assistant CoronerThe Gory Details: In one of Jason Goes to Hell's few truly entertaining kills, the assistant coroner insults the corpse of Jason Voorhees, unaware that the immortal killer has possessed the body of his boss. Death by autopsy probe (ooh, that's a new one!) ensues.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: Dr. CrewsThe Gory Details: When Jason breaks out the tree-trimming saw, you think you're in for a real treat. This is, by far, the most impressive piece of hardware wielded by the masked killer throughout these movies and he looks nothing short of terrifying while holding it. But alas, he only uses it to disembowel the cowardly Dr. Crews, a kill that doesn't feature a single drop of the red stuff. Don't promise carnage you can't deliver, movie!

The Film: Friday the 13thThe Victims: Barry and ClaudetteThe Gory Details: The first victims in the entire series, Barry and Claudette are stabbed to death by a mysterious figure, later revealed to be a vengeful Pamela Voorhees. While not as outlandish as other deaths in the series, there's something morbidly affecting about the low-key nature of these murders.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: RichieThe Gory Details: Richie has a really, really bad final five minutes of life. First, he stumbles across the corpse of his buddy Wade. And then he steps in a bear trap, which screws his leg up something fierce. And then he has to watch helplessly as his girlfriend bites it. And then, and only then, does Jason end it with a pretty superior machete head chop. Geez.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: BlakeThe Gory Details: Blake vows to avenge the death of his best friend, falls asleep, narrowly avoids getting killed by Freddy Krueger, wakes up, and gets promptly hacked to pieces by Jason Voorhees.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part 2The Victim: ScottThe Gory Details: One of the Friday the 13th series' first great douchebags, Scott steps in a snare and finds himself dangling helplessly as Jason approaches to cut his throat with a machete. There are bloodier kills, but there's something to be said for the raw horror of being literally unable to defend yourself against the stranger who wants to kill you.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: TerriThe Gory Details: What sounds basic on paper is elevated in execution. Terry is impaled against the side of a house with a spear, but only after what looks like a POV shot glides past the victim, setting the stage for much of the murder to take place in shadows cast against the wall.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: VinnieThe Gory Details: I'm not sure if having a road flare shoved in your mouth would be enough kill you all on its own, but it sure looks like it hurts and anything that doesn't involve a machete or an axe is a welcome change of pace by this point.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: KiaThe Gory Details: The use of a homophobic slur and some of that lousy early '00s faux slow-motion knock this otherwise gnarly death down a few spots. Kia steps in to distract Freddy Krueger, only for Jason to approach her from behind and transform her into a homerun ball with his machete, sending her flying into a nearby tree.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: KateThe Gory Details: Yes, Jason Voorhees stabs someone to death with a party horn. This is a thing that happens in a motion picture made by humans. But hey, at least they were finding ways to keep this stuff fresh.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: BreeThe Gory Details: Jason, doing his best Leatherface impression, impales Bree on a set of antlers. Effective, if somewhat familiar, stuff.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: RobThe Gory Details: After spending the bulk of the movie preparing to avenge his sister (killed in Friday the 13th Part 2), Rob Dier's first proper encounter in Jason ends quickly as the masked killer decimates him with a garden claw. Noteworthy for Rob screaming "He's killing me!" as Jason does him in, a weird (and weirdly human) thing to say as someone kills you.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: TinaThe Gory Details: Tina getting a pair of garden shears in the eyes is unpleasant enough, but this one ranks because of the sick crunch we hear when faux-Jason finishes the job.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: J.J.The Gory Details: As I've said before, any death that gives Jason something new to work with is something worth celebrating. So J.J. getting beaten to death with her own electric guitar after deciding that the filthy engine room of a cruise liner was the best place to rock out stands out.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: Mr. MuellerThe Gory Details: Blake wakes up and nudges his father. Dear ol' dad's head falls right off. Points for comedy!

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victims: Lizbeth and DarrenThe Gory Details: A decade before Scream, Lizbeth and Darren (the latter played by Scandal's Tony Goldwyn!), showcase some keen genre knowledge when they see Jason, recognize that he's a walking horror trope, and attempt to escape before they get murdered. They both end up getting impaled with a fence post, but "A" for effort.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: Professor LoweThe Gory Details: Eventually, Professor Lowe gets decapitate offscreen and his severed head gets thrown around as a prop in other scenes. But first, he attempts to bargain with his killer, offering to give him his machete back if that's what it will take to end his rampage. It's preposterous, but oh-so-fun.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: AliThe Gory Details: Biker gang leader Ali find himself in a rare position: he's attacked by Jason Voorhees and lives to tell the tale. But rather than just play dead or flee, he leaps back into action during the climax and promptly gets his arm chopped off. And then Jason spends a good thirty seconds hacking him up.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: Nurse MorganThe Gory Details: While there's nothing here we haven't seen before, the death of Nurse Morgan via a scalpel to the guts is well-staged and well-executed. If every "boring" kill was this effective, this series would be in a better place.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Mr. McCullochThe Gory Details: Mr. McCulloch, the pompous biology teacher, is drowned in a barrel of green toxic waste (complete with a dead floating rat) that just-so-happens to be sitting in the alley where Jason confronts him. You know, a pretty standard New York City murder. Nothing special about this one!

The Film: Friday the 13thThe Victim: BrendaThe Gory Details: The first Friday the 13th differs from most of its sequels in that it values suspense as much as gore and Brenda's implied offscreen death (by bow and arrow) is pretty tense! Her tied-up corpse is later tossed through a window, supplying the series with one of its better jump scares.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: Dr. Letter and GeorgeThe Gory Details: Dr. Letter operates a camp for wayward youths, helping troubled teens learn to overcome their problems and work with society. George works for him. Both of them are brutally murdered, with the former impaled to a tree with a railroad spike and the latter thrown through a window with his eyes gouged out. Moral of the story: don't dedicate your life to helping others or you'll just be bodies waiting to be discovered during the slasher movie climax.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: SamanthaThe Gory Details: Boats are scary enough, so how about a boat made entirely out of material that can be sliced up by even an amateur murderer? Anyway, rafts are scary as shit and they offer Samantha no protection when Jason stabs her through the bottom of her inflating water device.

The Film: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayThe Victim: DeborahThe Gory Details: Of all the people to die while having sex in the Friday the 13th series, Deborah's demise is...one of them! Well, it's actually pretty good and one of the high points of the worst movie in the series, as she is impaled through the tent and torn in half with a quick upward thrust.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodThe Victim: MelissaThe Gory Details: One of the meanest mean girls in the entire series, Melissa takes an axe in the face before her lifeless body is tossed across the room like a sack of potatoes. It works much better in context, where her demise should be met with healthy cheers from everyone watching.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: JuliusThe Gory Details: We first meet Julius as he's destroying an opponent in a boxing match, so surely he's a physical match for a towering zombie hillbilly serial killer, right? After punching Jason in the face for about two minutes, an out-of-breath Julius tells him to take his best shot. One punch later, his severed head spirals through the air.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part 2The Victim: Deputy WinslowThe Gory Details: One of Jason Voorhees' first victims, Deputy Winslow stumbles into the killer's secluded backwoods hideout and takes a hammer to his head for his troubles. A simple death, but well done and pretty creepy by the standards of this series.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: Private Johnson, Dr. Wimmer, Sergeant Marcus, and three unnamed soldiersThe Gory Details: Yes, that is acclaimed filmmaker David Cronenberg as Dr. Wimmer, a scientist who wants to use an imprisoned Jason Voorhees to advance medical technology (because he can't die, you see). Unfortunately, he picked the wrong time to pay a visit and he's slaughtered (impaled with a noose pole!) alongside his entire military escort in a gory, goofy, and well-staged action sequence.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: MikeThe Gory Details: Not being able to see Jason doesn't mean he still can't kill you. He may be lurking in the basement, ready to shove his machete through the floorboards and destroy your feet. This happens to poor Mike, whose legs are soon completely decimated, allowing Jason to pull him through the floor toward an untimely death.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victim: Officer ThorntonThe Gory Details: Jason throws a dark so hard that it hits Officer Thornton in the head and sends him flying backward.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: Ethel HubbardThe Gory Details: The Friday the 13th movies have their fair share of cartoonish redneck characters, but the Hubbard clan have the rest of them beat. Ethel Hubbard is cooking up some dinner when faux-Jason machetes her right in the head, putting her facedown in her pot of stew while her lifeless hand squeezes a tomato until it pops. Strangely, this is not the first time one of this series' victims has death-squeezed fruit.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: EvaThe Gory Details: Pursued into a shitty nightclub on board a shitty cruise linger, Eva is strangled by Jason (who mysteriously teleports around the room to cut off every avenue of escape) while crappy music blasts on the soundtrack and reminders that this movie is set in the '80s populate every possible corner of every frame.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IIIThe Victim: ChiliThe Gory Details: Stoner lady Chili is impaled by a red hot fireplace poker. Simple. Effective. Gets the job done.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victim: FreeburgThe Gory Details: This is a weird one. Freeburg, a stoner not-so-subtly modeled on Jason Mewes' Jay character from Kevin Smith's filmography, falls asleep, meets an evil dream caterpillar, gets possessed by Freddy Krueger, and then gets chopped completely in half by Jason Voorhees. The final effect is hindered by that awful fake slow motion, but it's pretty wild.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: HitchhikerThe Gory Details: The unnamed hitchhiker getting stabbed through the back of the neck is perfectly gruesome, but it's her death grip on her banana that sells the awfulness of the moment.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: LawrenceThe Gory Details: Here's what happens when you have a backbone in a Friday the 13th movie. You rush out to save a friend in peril and get an axe thrown into your back for your effort. And if you're still alive, Jason keeps you breathing and uses your screams as bait. Poor Lawrence. Poor, brave, stupid Lawrence.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: JennaThe Gory Details: Wait, isn't Jenna the "Final Girl" of the Friday the 13th remake? Isn't she supposed to be alive when the credits roll? Nah. She gets stabbed from behind by Jason's machete ten minutes before the end in one of the film's best twists.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victim: Officer PappasThe Gory Details: Welcome to the Friday the 13th Head Crush Memorial Stretch, where we'll honor the best of the series' many head crushings! First up is Officer Pappas, whose head crush is mostly unseen but works thanks to some particularly icky sound effects.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: DallasThe Gory Details: Next up is Dallas, a tough space marine (played by screenwriter Todd Farmer) who has his head casually smashed against the wall by Jason.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: DougThe Gory Details: Next up is Doug, whose face is smooshed into the shower wall by Jason. While not as gory as other kills in the series, there's something inherently disturbing (and maybe a little bit funny) about Jason's hand literally digging into his face after the shower tiles stop giving in.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New BeginningThe Victim: EddieThe Gory Details: For a more effective head crush, bring a leather strap! Faux-Jason wraps one around Eddie's head and pulls him against a tree to gruesome effect.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason LivesThe Victim: NikkiThe Gory Details: And that takes us to Nikki, who finds herself battling Jason (and her boyfriend's bad driving) in the back of a moving RV. It all culminates with her head being literally pushed through the wall of the vehicle, leaving an indentation in the shape of her screaming face. Yeeesh.

The Film: Freddy vs. JasonThe Victims: Gibb and FrisellThe Gory Details: Gibb has passed out at the cornfield rave and is being stalked in her dreams by Freddy Krueger. Frisell, a douchebag with bleached hair and an outfit consisting mostly of glowsticks, decides to get inappropriate with her. Both Freddy and Frisell's attempts to take advantage of Gibb come to an abrupt end when Jason enters the scene and imaples both of them with a pipe. The kills are pretty good, but Freddy's frustration at this big lug interrupting his big moment elevates it all.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: TedThe Gory Details: Film projectors are inherently cinematic, so Ted getting stabbed through a projector screen and leaving a trail of blood as he slides down to his death is inherently cinematic. The whirring of the projector itself lends the scene a creepy aural ambiance.

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)The Victim: AmandaThe Gory Details: File this one under "personal nightmare." Amanda is tied up in her sleeping bag and hoisted over a campfire, where she slowly roasts to death. Spared no humiliation, her charred corpse falls from the bag and lands on the ground with a thud.

The Film: Jason XThe Victim: The entire population of the Solaris space stationThe Gory Details: Remember when we talked about Jason killing the pilot of the Grendel, the spaceship where he does most of his killing in Jason X? Well, that leaves the ship without a pilot, so it careens through the Solaris space station, doing untold damage and leading the entire station exploding in a delightfully hokey fireball. Who knows how many thousands of people died a sudden death because a zombie redneck serial killer from 450 years earlier decided to start rampaging around a spaceship! This is insane.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final ChapterThe Victim: SaraThe Gory Details: Sara flees downstairs, looking over her shoulder and expecting the man who has been killing her friends to appear at any moment. She should have been looking the other way, as an axe literally flies through the door, taking her down in an instant.

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanThe Victim: Unnamed BoxerThe Gory Details: He doesn't even have a name, but the unnamed boxer gets one of the best deaths in one of the worst Friday the 13th movies when Jason lunges a burning hot sauna rock right into his chest.

***

In true '80s slasher movie fashion, we're going to wrap all of this up in a sequel. Click right here to check out the top 50 Friday the 13th kills!