'X-Men: Apocalypse' Trailer Breakdown: Going Through The New Footage Frame-By-Frame

A new trailer for X-Men: Apocalypse arrived yesterday and you know what that means. Yep, it's time to do another frame-by-frame breakdown where we sift through every shot like proper nerds. You know, people who don't have anything better to do with their time.

Okay. Let's dive into this thing.

We begin with a helicopter shot of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters, where nothing goes wrong. Ever. It's a totally safe place where mutants can live in harmony and not get threatened by enemies on a daily basis. Total stronghold, that place is.

And here's James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier himself...still looking exactly like he did in X-Men: Days of Future Past...which means he still looks like he did in X-Men: First Class. Huh. Let's revisit that in a second. The fact that we've seen images of him in a suit with a bald head suggests that he finally reaches his iconic comic book look in this film, which seems a little silly. Do we need an origin story for Professor X's chrome dome when "Hey, ten years have passed!" would have solved that problem quite nicely?

Also: Does something about that opening dialogue between Professor X and his best frenemy Magneto strike you as a little bit familiar, somehow?

IM NOT OK pic.twitter.com/0Sx6EFWNiL

— 🐐 🧀 (@AARONR0DGERS) March 17, 2016

Anyway, moving on: Jennifer Lawrence's Mystique also hasn't aged a day. It's almost okay for her (a previous film presented some mumbo jumbo about her mutant genes allowing her to age more slowly), but it's been twenty years! Why does no one in this movie look like they've aged at all? It's a genuinely bizarre choice, especially since you know Michael Fassbender and other series veterans would look fantastic with a little gray in their hair.

This trailer isn't big on character moments, but it is big on shots of familiar characters looking very, very concerned. Here is Tye Sheridan as Scott Summers, a.k.a. Cyclops, looking just about perfect. Behind him, out of focus, is Kodi Smit-McPhee as Nightcrawler. We'll get a better look at him later.

It sure is nice to have Jean Grey back and it sure is nice to see the wonderful Sophie Turner outside of Westeros. The Game of Thrones star is inspired casting for this character and I just hope that she actually gets something to do in the film. Heck, with a cast this gigantic, that's a concern I have for every other character in the movie. With no Wolverine in sight, I can only hope that Bryan Singer lets everyone have a moment in the spotlight.

Hey, Rose Byrne's Moira MacTaggert is back! The last time we saw her, she was having her memory erased in X-Men: First Class. But this is where Singer is really trolling everyone with the aging thing. Make up all kinds of comic book excuses for why the superheroes haven't aged a day, but why does this human character still look identical to her twenty-years-younger self? Does anyone involved in the making of this film even care?

We know that Oscar Isaac spends the bulk of this movie buried under a mountain of prosthetics, but now we know that there will be at least one scene featuring his natural, handsome mug. This is obviously a flashback to Apocalypse's early days, when he lived in ancient Egypt...

...and it certainly looks like he gains his suit and his hideous look as part of some kind of ritual. Insert your own Extreme Makeover: Ancient Mutant Edition joke here.

Let's be honest with ourselves here: in individual screen shots, Isaac still looks awfully silly as Apocalypse. Because his truly bizarre comic book design has been toned down dramatically, he looks more like a silly television villain than the greatest threat the X-Men have ever faced. Based purely on the footage that has been released so far, I can't help but wish they had just gone totally gonzo with his look instead of settling on this. I hope to be pleasantly surprised with the final film.

Apparently, Magneto's been wearing flannel and hanging out with a bunch of steelworkers. I only grabbed this screenshot because the gentleman on the right looks like a parody of a steelworker from an episode of The Simpsons or something and it made me giggle.

In case we needed an origin story for Magneto's helmet, it looks like it's a gift from his new boss, Apocalypse. Could it be composed of the same mystical mumbo-jumbo that created Apocalypse's own outfit? You can definitely see a similarity.

In fact, you can easily see Apocalypse's hand in the uniform designs for four of his "Horsemen." It's actually a shame how much better the bad guys look than the heroes. Archangel and Psylocke look close enough to their comic book counterparts to make me genuinely bummed out that Jean Grey isn't wearing green and gold.

With all due respect to Halle Berry, Alexandra Shipp's Storm looks perfect. The uniform is cool, the hair is great, and her powers look far more useful and better implemented than they did in the past.

Here's a pretty nifty shot of Apocalypse and his Horsemen overlooking Cairo. Since the Big Bad has his hands in the air, you know something very, very bad is about to happen.

Oh. There it is. Past X-Men movies have generally dealt with far more small-scale conflicts (secret wars in Cuba, a final battle in a stadium, an isolated showdown in a military bunker), but this one seems to be going for some real Man of Steel-level carnage. There are definitely some audiences who are fatigued by the level of massive destruction in many recent superhero movies, but this is actually a new thing for the X-Men series. But will that actually mean anything?

You can't call your movie "Apocalypse" and not feature a shot where dozens of nuclear missiles launch into the sky. It's the law. Anyway, it's unclear whether this is literal imagery or something that Jean Grey sees in a dream (see: previous trailers), but the end does truly seem to be nigh. Like how First Class embraced its '60s setting, it would be nice to see this one embrace its '80s setting and tap into the fear and paranoia of the final years of the Cold War.

Oh, no! An explosion at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters? But nothing bad ever happens there! Ever! It's the safest place in the world! Outside X-Men business never penetrates its hallowed walls!

The Avengers have their Quinjet and the X-Men have the Blackbird, seen here in all of its glory.

Evan Peters' Quicksilver was one of the most pleasant surprises of Days of Future Past, winning over fans despite his all-too-silly costume design and appearance. He seems to be playing a much bigger role this time around, so the question now is whether he works best in small doses or if he can be a strong member of the ensemble.

What? Charles Xavier gets assaulted by Apocalypse in his own home? In the totally safe and not dangerous at all Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters? How can this happen?

Just in case you were wondering if a city other than Cairo gets completely obliterated, here's this shot of New York City being decimated for Apocalypse and his forces. Poor New Yorkers, always on the receiving end of this superhero nonsense...

Like I said earlier, this trailer is all about characters looking very concerned at all times. Here are three of our characters looking especially concerned in the ruins of New York City. We can safely assume that this comes from the climax of the film.

Sorry, Quicksilver. We know you're cool and all, but you still look really, really silly.

Is this the team of X-Men that does battle with Apocalypse and his Horsemen in the final battle? A few faces are missing (where are you, Nightcrawler?), but the gang is mostly here.

We know that Ben Hardy's Angel will, at some point, lose his wings, get metallic replacements, and become Archangel. For now, here's a shot of him in some kind of brutal cage fight with another mutant...

...who turns out to be Nightcrawler. Are these two fighting for profit or are they being held against their will? In the ugly, mutant-hating world of the X-Men, both seem likely.

Here's our only good look at Nightcrawler in the entire trailer, which certainly suggests that he's playing a minor role. X2 botched this character, transforming a charming swashbuckler into a self-mutilating depressive. Hopefully, Singer atones for his sins this time around.

Yeah, Egypt is pretty much screwed, but at least the X-Men are on the way. That certainly looks like the work of Storm...

Mystique spends the bulk of this trailer in her human form, which screams of "Jennifer Lawrence is really, really fed up with that Mystique make-up, guys." Yet, she remains the heart of the recent movies and it's great to see her back in action. Hopefully, the final film will give her plenty of time to be her natural, blue self.

At least Quicksilver is ditching his tacky fashions and getting a proper X-Men uniform this time around. Like everyone else, it's a lame black leather thing instead of a proper superhero costume, but it's a significant improvement over a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

Nothing to say here except that Storm really does look pretty darn cool this time around. Hopefully, the film doesn't sideline her. Because past films have totally wasted her.

Speaking of characters who have been sidelined in past, can we take a moment to talk about Cyclops? James Marsden was actually pretty terrific casting for Scott Summers in the earlier films, but the movies themselves let the character down in a significant way. The leader of the X-Men was reduced to a one-note, stick-up-his-butt jerk, a snide figure of authority for Wolverine to sneer at. The capable tactician and complex thinker of the comics was nowhere to be seen. Since Sheridan's Scott is young and inexperienced, it's unlikely that we'll get to see him as the seasoned character comic readers love, but at least we have a fresh start.

We've talked about this particular screenshot before, but it deserves a second look. If Olivia Munn's Psylocke can be this unashamedly colorful, why can't the X-Men ditch those boring black uniforms for something a little flashier?

Archangel looks great and he looks great because he looks completely different from everyone else. Audiences have embraced superhero movies that go full-on nerdy, but the X-Men franchise seems to have one foot stuck in 2003. Whoever takes the reins of this series next needs to dress the good guys as well as Singer has dressed the bad guys.

Sorry, Apocalypse. You still look silly.

What's this? And now something is going horribly wrong inside Cerebro? But nothing ever goes wrong at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters! It's so incredibly safe! (But in all seriousness, I have no idea what's going on here. Please feel free to speculate in the comments below.)

Oh. Well, it certainly looks like Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters will no longer exist by the time the credits roll. Yikes. Thanks, Apocalypse.

X-Men: Apocalypse opens on May 27, 2016. And here's the full trailer again for your perusal: