House Of The Dragon Season 3 Finally Kills Off One Of The Show's Worst Characters

Don't fire off any well-aimed arrows if you haven't seen Season 3 Episode 6 of "House of the Dragon" — spoilers ahead!

During the opening minutes of the sixth episode of "House of the Dragon" Season 3 — the first prequel and spin-off set in the "Game of Thrones" universe, which has become a hit for HBO just like its predecessor — we see Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel), lover and loyal soldier to the Green leader and dowager queen Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke), approach a battlefield filled with seemingly fallen Tully men. Approached by enemy forces, including the aforementioned Tullys and their allies the Blackwoods, Ser Criston asks who killed all of these fighters, and suddenly, they attack Criston and his men.

They were, as it turns out, just pretending to be dead to lure Criston into a trap. He fights well and survives the initial melee, screaming the Hightower motto "We light the way!" before Blackwoods call his name. After calling him a "traitor, usurper, and defier of justice," Criston asks for his men to be spared after seeing the massive Blackwood army and tries to haggle with them regarding a battle, offering himself in battle against two Blackwoods.

"Will that be enough to make a fight of it?" Criston asks before getting sniped by Alysanne Blackwood (Annie Shapero), who lands multiple arrows in his torso and, ultimately, his face. Finally. Our long international nightmare is over. Ser Criston Cole is dead, and "House of the Dragon" fans are freed from his very existence. So why is this so great? Because, without question, Criston is the worst character the Seven Kingdoms have ever seen. (Well, he's at least tied with Pilou Asbæk's Euron Greyjoy, but still.)

Why are "House of the Dragon" fans so happy to see Ser Criston Cole get sniped through the cheek? Because he friggin' sucks. When we first meet him in Season 1, he's personally chosen by then-Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen (Milly Alcock as a teenager and Emma D'Arcy as an adult) to serve as her personal protector in his capacity as a member of the Kingsguard. Rhaenyra impulsively seduces Criston one night — which is only a problem for Criston insofar as the Kingsguard explicitly forbids its men to get into intimate situations — and Criston falls so hard for her that he begs her to renounce her claim to the throne and run away with him. When she understandably turns down his proposal, Criston turns against her more or less immediately, aligning himself with Rhaenyra's stepmother, former best friend, and enemy Queen Alicent Hightower (Emily Carey as a teen and Olivia Cooke as an adult). 

You see the problem here? A girl rejected Criston, and he decided to align himself with a woman who actively wants her dead. Season 2 of "House of the Dragon" doesn't make Criston look any better; he's secretly sleeping with Alicent (I guess breaking his vows doesn't matter so much to him anymore, huh?) and is caught in a compromising position as her grandchildren get brutally murdered in one of the sickest scenes we've seen yet on "House of the Dragon." After that, Criston sends men to assassinate Rhaenyra because, again, he sucks.

Put simply, Criston is a weaselly little creep and hypocrite who prides himself on his honor while also constantly being dishonorable. You know how if a guy self-describes as "nice," it probably means he's a huge jerk? That's Criston!

Right before Criston starts trying to fight the impassable army of House Blackwood, he pulls a handkerchief out of his sleeve ... one that's adorned with a cursive A. Clearly, this belongs to Alicent Hightower, a woman who, at this point in the "House of the Dragon" narrative, doesn't seem particularly interested in him beyond the fact that he's a warm body and willing lover. 

Again, the entire Alicent situation just illustrates Criston's hypocrisy; they're two consenting adults, and in an ideal world, they could do whatever they want. Ser Criston is, however, still in the Kingsguard, so he shouldn't be sleeping with anyone — let alone the dowager queen he's sworn to serve. Also, frankly, I get why Alicent seems completely uninterested in Criston's company after he neglects his duties to crawl into her bed, resulting in her toddler grandson getting his head sawed off by a couple of hired goons; no carnal pleasure is worth that, surely.

Criston is a nasty, high-and-mighty disaster of a man. I wasn't just happy to see that arrow go through his cheek; I was absolutely thrilled. All men must die (or, as they say in High Valyrian, valar morghulis), and in the universe of "Game of Thrones" and, in particular, "House of the Dragon," pretty much everyone does have to die, considering that this prequel centers on the deadly Targaryen civil war known as the Dance of the Dragons. With that, I bid a not-so-fond farewell to Ser Criston Cole, who sucked.

"House of the Dragon" airs new episodes every Sunday at 9 P.M. EST, and the Season 3 finale airs on Sunday, August 9.