We Asked An Actual Accountant How Many People He's Killed And He Told Us To Leave His Office

In 2016, the world met Christian Wolff in Gavin O'Connor's "The Accountant." As played by Ben Affleck, Christian was a man with a certain set of skills. He had a knack for murdering people, and therefore became a highly-paid assassin. But that wasn't his only job. Christian was autistic, which also contributed to him being very good with numbers. Using this to his advantage, Christian became an accountant for the criminal underworld, cooking the books for illegal organizations.

Now, Christian is back in "The Accountant 2," a film that was announced a few years ago, and has the autistic assassin/accountant teaming up with his wise-cracking brother, played by Jon Bernthal (the brother is also an assassin, fyi, so death runs in the family). Folks seem to be enjoying this new movie, with our own Ryan Scott writing in his review:

Is it sometimes outlandish? Completely, but since when did movies have to be realistic? Escapism often works very well when we can leave reality behind. What I can say with confidence is that anyone who enjoyed "The Accountant" will undoubtedly enjoy this follow-up. It's rare that sequels outdo what came before, but O'Connor manages to do so here. This is pure popcorn entertainment, executed effectively. Let me put it this way: If they make three more "Accountant" movies, I will watch three more "Accountant" movies. Honestly, I hope they do.

Here, watch a trailer.

Now, I know what you're thinking: all of this sounds mighty silly. But believe it or not, "The Accountant" movies have some basis in reality. You see: accountants are real! That's right — they're not just a made-up thing for the movies. Some of them have offices in your very city. So I decided to talk to a real accountant and find out how many people he's killed, just like Christian Wolff.

Since tax season is here, I decided to kill two birds with one stone by going to [REDACTED], located in Westfield Plaza, next to an abandoned Sunglass Hut and a store that sells lightly used wigs, and file my taxes while asking about the body count of the accountant who runs the place. Upon sitting down with Mr. [REDACTED], I cut to the chase: "Have you ever seen 'The Accountant'?" I asked.

"No," said [REDACTED]. "I don't watch movies. I only watch YouTube videos about soup."

"Well, in 'The Accountant,' there's an accountant, and he murders people. With guns," I said, raising my eyebrows. "Which makes me wonder: as an accountant, how many people have you killed? You know, like in the movie?"

And that point, [REDACTED] politely asked me to leave and then immediately put a CLOSED sign in the window. Now, there are two ways to read into this interaction. One is to assume that this accountant was offended I asked this question. Another is that this accountant didn't want to confess to the various murders he participated in over the years as a highly-trained assassin. You draw your own conclusions. Anyway, this reminds me: I never got around to filing my taxes, but honestly, does that even matter? In the grand scheme of things, aren't we all just out there on our own, forgetting to file our taxes? Really makes you think.

"The Accountant 2" opens in theaters on April 25, 2025.