A Minecraft Movie Review: A Broad, Slapstick Farce

It was a bad idea from the start. Of course it was. "Minecraft," first produced by the Swedish company Mojang Studios in 2011, started as a modest sandbox game where idle youths could while away their time mining wood, ore, and other materials to build whatever structures they wanted. There weren't levels to "Minecraft," nor any sort of quest to complete. It was, to borrow another critic's phrase, a faffing-about simulator. The game was very popular, bolstered by its simple, cubic, pixelated aesthetic; it was a 3D version of an 8-Bit, NES-era game. 

A generation became addicted. It swelled and swelled. A tribe of YouTubers appeared, posting hundreds of hours of Minecraft" gameplay video as they explored the fineries of mining, crafting, combining materials, and battling Endermen. As of this writing, "Minecraft" is the single best-selling video game of all time (it's in second place if one combined every iteration of "Tetris" in their sales figures). These days, one cannot visit their child's elementary school campus without seeing dozens of "Minecraft"-branded backpacks, water bottles, t-shirts, watches, shoes, etc. etc. etc. There are spinoff mayhem-based arcade games, TV shows, books, comics, and wax cylinders. The game has been a phenomenon at least as large as the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

So "A Minecraft Movie" was kind of inevitable. The "Minecraft" empire was slowly slumping toward theaters for years, and it has finally landed in the form of Jared Hess' $150 million effects bonanza. What could be done with a "Minecraft" movie? Not much, it seems. Because the game is an open-ended sandbox, there isn't anything traditionally cinematic that could be extracted from it. There is no final boss to fight, no protagonist with a story arc, no progressively harder levels. 

As such, Hess and his army of screenwriters (only five are credited) have taken the wisest possible route with their adaptation: "A Minecraft Movie" is a broad, slapstick farce without a hint of seriousness, reverence, or coolness. The most shocking thing? It's not terrible. 

Hess comedic approach was really the only way out of this. Perhaps there was a way to make a stern drama from "Minecraft," a slow, deep meditation on the slow progress of mining, and the monsters that haunt you at night. Lav Diaz would be well-suited to the material. Perhaps, too, there was a way to adapt "Minecraft" into a broad slick MCU-style blockbuster that takes a stern, sacred, and po-faced view of its source material, trying to mine (heh) a PG-13-ready action/drama from Mojang's cubic world. But "Minecraft," with its simplified aesthetic and vague fantasy setting was not rich enough source material for either of those approaches. Farce was the correct path. 

As such, "A Minecraft Movie" bears a stronger resemblance to Hess' 2004 indie hit "Napoleon Dynamite" than anything in the current blockbuster space. It has the same kind of wildly colorful-but-kinda-clueless blue-collar characters, the same Idaho setting, and even features the same llamas and Tater Tots. The main characters are the teenage Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and his older sister Natalie (Emma Meyers) who have been forced to move to Chuglass, Idaho after the death of their mother. Chuglass is a small, quirky town that is obsessed with potato chips, and is the home to Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison (Jason Momoa) a once-celebrated video arcade champion who now runs a failing vintage video game shop. 

A healthy portion of "A Minecraft Movie" takes place in Chuglass, and Hess clearly had more interest in his quirky characters and their potato-facing small town than the fantasy "Minecraft" nonsense that was to come later. Indeed, if the plot was merely about how the creative inventor Henry and his put-upon sister came to love the weirdos of Idaho, the film would have functioned perfectly adequately. This is a sign that "A Minecraft Movie" — dare I say it? — has some personality.

Of course, your kids didn't come to "A Minecraft Movie" to see a quirky indie comedy. They came for the mining and the crafting and the fantasy of a square-shaped video game world. 

Garrett, early in the film, attends a warehouse auction (overseen by Hess' "Gentlemen Broncos" collaborator and "Avatar" regular Jemaine Clement) where he comes into possession of a glowing blue cube and a slitted magical crystal it fits inside of. These objects belong to Steve (Jack Black) a one-time Chuglass denizen who, years ago, found a magical portal into the Overworld. In the Overworld, as we see in a Steve-narrated introduction, physics follow video game rules. One can magically mine and craft with the flick of a wrist. Crafting tables allow one to manifest weapons and tools by combining specially arranged elements. Henry, Garrett, Emma, and their real estate agent Dawn (Academy Award nominee Danielle Brooks) use the glowing cube to open Steve's portal and enter his video game world. 

Jack Black is perfect as Steve. Black, a round man in a square universe, had endless enthusiasm for the Overworld, constantly preaching about how the updated laws of physics encourage endless creativity. About 85% of his dialogue consists of tireless explanations of how the Overworld operates. Black is clearly the avatar for the children in the audience, who likely have had a common experience explaining these exact laws of physics to their baffled, non-"Minecraft"-playing parents. Steve is explaining the rules of the game, and even if the rules don't make any sense (or are just kind of stupid and pat in a video game kind of way), it's hard not to get excited by Steve's joy in the explanation. 

There are some tantalizing fantasy ideas that are, sadly, not explored in "A Minecraft Movie." The days and nights, for instance, only last 20 minutes each, making one wonder how sleep cycles work, or what a work week looks like. The citizens of the Overworld don't seem to care, as they are merely muttering monks with outsize, cubic heads. 

Oh yes, and more plot. There is a Netherworld just next door to the Overworld, that is overseen by the evil Piglin mistress Malgosha (Rachel House). Piglins only mine for gold and don't believe in creativity, and Malgosha aims to steal a magical crystal, fire off a sky-beam, and take over the world, yadda yadda yadda. Steve, Garrett and our heroes have to stop her, with a few secret greed-based side quests along the way; Garrett, you see, is broke, and loved the realm's diamond mines. Steve and Garrett will also form a somewhat warm, friendly, borderline sexual regard for one another. Sadly, "A Minecraft Movie" doesn't push them in the direction of romance. 

Although "A Minecraft Movie" has endless scenes of Steve explaining "Minecraft" to the baffled characters (and parents), it doesn't have any insufferable, fan-ready pauses where we are meant to stand and cheer (a la the fan-service-heavy "Spider-Man: No Way Home"). This is not a film that treats "Minecraft" as if it's peerless or sacred; it in uninterested in portent. Instead of marveling at an Ender Pearl or a Ghast, it presents them technically and matter-of-factly. There's no pretense. We're not meant to have a deep love of these objects going in. We just have to keep up. 

And that's the prevailing attitude: keep up, oldie, there's a lot to learn. We know it's nonsense, so we hope a lot of mugging and character quirks can keep you interested. For the bulk of the movie, it does.

/Film Rating: 7 out of 10

"A Minecraft Movie" opens in theaters on April 4, 2025.