5 Worst James Bond Gadgets, Ranked

Whatever you think about James Bond's gadgets, it's hard to imagine the spy without them. Ever since he debuted in the pages of Ian Fleming's "Casino Royale" back in 1953 — a book that received some truly weird changes upon its U.S. debut — England's greatest spy has been making use of gizmos provided by Q-branch. It wasn't until the films began with 1962's "Dr. No," however, that James Bond's gadgets began to take on their legendary cultural status. While "Dr. No" didn't feature much in the way of spy gadgets beyond Bond's standard Walther PPK, the follow-up "From Russia with Love" introduced Desmond Llewelyn's Q and his department of genius tinkerers who supply 007 with all manner of covert instrument.

In the years since, Bond gadgets have run the gamut from ingenious to downright ridiculous. Much like the franchise to which they belong, the gadgets have been both believable (GPS trackers and licence plate flippers), to absurd and fantastical (killer couches and flying tea tray guillotines). At least it can be said that either end of this spectrum includes entertaining and memorable examples of Bond gadgets, but what about the ones that just aren't any good? Somehow, Bond screenwriters have managed to take a trope as exciting as spy gadgets and produce some of the most boring, ineffective, and forgettable on-screen gizmos in cinematic history.

With that in mind, we thought we'd take stock of the Bond franchise's most ill-advised gadgets, if only to try to help Amazon, who now owns the James Bond IP, steer clear of similar missteps in the future.

Now, listen closely double-0 seven. On your mission to take down notorious supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld, it's imperative that you remember to take with you this bit of fluff I pulled from my dryer trap. In 1969's "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" — which happens to be one of Christopher Nolan's favorite Bond movies — Sean Connery was out and George Lazenby was in. The Bond series was going through its first major overhaul after the loss of the man who had helped make the lead character a global icon. Part of that overhaul involved some new gadgets, which included one prototype that was never actually used in the field.

When Desmond Llewelyn's Q and Bernard Lee's M meet, the former shows the British Secret Service head a box containing a piece of lint which is apparently capable of acting as a tracking device when integrated into a wearer's clothing. It's also radioactive for some reason. While the idea of a tracking device that can be almost completely camouflaged in clothing isn't actually that bad an idea, the sad little ball of fluff sitting in its display box like some recently-expired insect just isn't the kind of gadget that Bond fans were surely looking for. Perhaps that's why Lazenby's spy never actually uses it, instead opting for a miniature camera and a safe cracker, which in and of themselves aren't the most exciting gizmos in the Bond canon, but are certainly more visually appealing than something that looks like it was plucked from Q's belly button.

"The Man with the Golden Gun" couldn't quite match the success of its predecessor, 1973's "Live and Let Die," but Roger Moore's second go round as 007 has plenty of things working in its favor. Not only did Moore make a real-life rescue on the set of "The Man with the Golden Gun," the titular handgun itself remains one of the most memorable weapons in Bond history, and many of us surely recall using it to lay waste to our friends in "GoldenEye 007." Christopher Lee's assassin Francisco Scaramanga is also one of the most memorable villains from the franchise, though we probably could have done with more of his cool modular gun and less of his third nipple.

Scaramanga's unique anatomical feature did at least give Bond an easy way to disguise himself as the deadly assassin when infiltrating Hai Fat's mansion, where he posed as Scaramanga to learn more about the villain's plans. Unfortunately, this led to one of the most quietly upsetting prosthetics to ever appear in the Bond saga, after 007 dons a fake third nipple which is displayed in full closeup during a swimming pool scene. Why is it oddly discolored? Why is it so alarmingly textured? Why is this in the movie in the first place? There are no good answers to these questions. Needless to say Bond gadgets are supposed to be cool, representing the height of technological advancement and playing into the series' inherent and fantasy-fulfilment. Who's fantasizing about having a third nipple? Maybe don't answer that.

In many ways, Sean Connery defined the popular idea of James Bond. Alongside "Dr. No" director Terence Young, whose cosmopolitan urbanity helped shape the overall 007 aura in the early years, Connery's tough yet suave manner was part of what made Bond the iconic figure he is today. At several points in the early Bond movies, however, Connery's slick urbanity was undermined by some rather unfortunate gadgets. The jetpack from the opening of "Thunderball" is one example, but even more laughable than this was the seagull snorkel Bond uses at the beginning of "Goldfinger."

The 1964 movie is famous for introducing so many of the tropes that would come to define the Bond saga as it went on, from the souped-up Aston Martin DB5 to the unnecessarily slow-moving death traps from which 007 would ultimately find a way to escape. It was the movie that made Bond a global sensation, too, and as such will always be remembered as one of the finest entries in the long-running saga. That's pretty impressive for a movie that opens with Connery's effortlessly cool spy emerging from the waters of a marina with a plastic seagull strapped to his head.

Why? Well, presumably Q and the team thought 007 would need some help blending in while on his mission to infiltrate a drug lab. But if anything the seagull calls more attention to his clandestine activities. What's more, he's literally the only person around at the time, emerging from the water in the dead of night to a deserted marina, only to discard the unfortunate headwear with a contemptuous toss that seems to contain all of Connery's barely-repressed resentment about playing the character in the first place.

"Die Another Day" is frequently dubbed the worst James Bond movie of all time. It's not hard to see why when the plot revolves around a Korean General who somehow transforms into a British snob only to threaten the world with a giant sky lazer which Bond is forced to outrun during the film's climax. This finale contains the infamous 007 surfing scene, in which Pierce Brosnan's spy outruns a giant CGI tidal wave while kitesurfing on a sheet of metal. 

Yet even with outlandish set pieces such as this, somehow the invisible Aston Martin V12 Vanquish feels even more egregious. Ever since 1964's "Goldfinger" Bond has had tricked-out Aston Martins at his disposal, and we all remember some of the more fantastical gadgets to have made it into the franchise (that floating gondola from "Moonraker" being one example). But the invisible car felt so absurdly fanciful that it was almost too much for a film as ridiculous as "Die Another Day."

The truth is that Brosnan's final outing as Bond is actually a heck of a lot of fun if you don't go into it expecting greatness. What makes the cloaking device-equipped Aston Martin so glaringly bad, however, is that even with this approach to viewing the film, it still somehow still seems too absurd. Bond can just turn invisible now? He can just sit in his car and he's invisible? This is a movie that begins with the man's prolonged torture in a Korean army camp, and ends with him sleuthing around in an invisible car. As such, it exemplifies everything wrong with "Die Another Day," even more than space lasers and magically-transforming Korean generals.

When "Casino Royale," the best Bond movie ever made, reinvented 007 for a new era, Bond was suddenly cool again after "Die Another Day" almost single-handedly buried the franchise for good. Part of the character's gritty reinvention was an abandonment of the series' more fantastical elements, which meant that, in "Casino Royale" Q was nowhere in sight and Bond only received a handgun and a GPS microchip in his arm. The follow-up, a misunderstood Bond movie worthy of more respect named "Quantum of Solace," abandoned gadgets altogether. But when that film failed to wow fans, longtime custodians of the Bond franchise, EON productions, decided they'd better do something and in 2012 Sam Mendes' "Skyfall" debuted.

For some reason, the Bond producers and director Sam Mendes decided part of the solution to the problems caused by "Quantum" was to bring back Q and his gadgets but make the former a smug, desultory foil to Bond himself and the latter some of the most boring gadgets yet seen in a 007 film. After Daniel Craig's spy meets Ben Whishaw's Q in London's National Gallery and some sneers about Bond's irrelevance are out of the way, Whishaw's quartermaster hands Bond a case containing a Walther PPK fitted with a palm print reader and a tiny radio transmitter. Bond himself even expresses his disappointment at the minimalistic gadgets of "Skyfall," reacting to Q's offering with, "Not exactly Christmas is it?"

Aside from the fact that the tiny radio transmitter might just be even more boring than radioactive lint, there's something about the way the film tries to have it both ways in this moment. The lack of flair and Bond's unenthusiastic reaction seems to be saying, "Hey, Bond is still as gritty and irreverent as he was in 'Casino Royale'" while the franchise theme swelling beneath 007 and Q's back-and-forth seems to simultaneously be saying "Remember how cool Bond's gadgets were?" Something about a tiny radio transmitter, delivered with Q's gentle contempt for Bond undermines the latter question to the point that it highlights everything wrong with "Skyfall," making it a strong candidate for the worst Bond gadget yet.