Every Ocean's Movie, Ranked From Worst To Best

If you're only familiar with director Steven Soderbergh's take on Danny Ocean's (George Clooney) story in his "Ocean's" trilogy — which kicked off in 2001 — you might not know that the actual first movie centering around a guy named Ocean and a big Las Vegas heist actually came out in 1960. So which ones in this series are the best, and which are the worst?

I feel pretty comfortable saying that I'm going to ruffle some feathers with this ranking, and I'm fine with that. I love picking hyper-specific hills and then dying upon them; it's one of my absolute favorite hobbies. Still, with just five "Ocean's" movies to choose from — putting aside the rumored prequel with Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie as Danny's parents — it's a fairly close ranking, but there's still a definitive answer. Here are the "Ocean's" movies ranked from worst to best, and I guarantee people are going to be furious about the number two spot, specifically.

I should admit, right off the bat, that I walked out of "Ocean's Thirteen" back in 2007 because the movie felt like such a labyrinthine mess that I couldn't stand to watch another second of it. In the third entry in Steven Soderbergh's "Ocean's" trilogy, the gang reunites again because Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould), one of their own, is set to open a hotel and casino on the Las Vegas Strip ... only for one of his main investors, Willy Bank (Al Pacino) to strongarm him into giving up most of his stake. When Reuben has a heart attack, Danny and his crew decide two things: they'll ruin the reputation of the property that was once Reuben's and now belongs to Willy (and is called "The Bank") by preventing it from winning an industry award, and that they'll engineer the machines so that patrons win way more than usual and keep the casino from making a profit.

"Ocean's Thirteen" layers twist after twist after twist and only produces diminishing returns as Danny, Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), and the rest of the heist-pullers work behind the scenes to ruin The Bank. Add in a third-act gag involving "The Oprah Winfrey Show" for absolutely no reason, and you've got a middling "Ocean's" movie on your hands ... which is simply unacceptable as a standard when Soderbergh and Clooney are still involved.

The biggest sin that the original "Ocean's 11" makes is that it's just not as fun as the version that came out 41 years later. Directed by Lewis Milestone and written by Harry Brown and Charles Lederer, the 1960 version of Danny Ocean's heist story stars a bunch of guys from the Rat Pack — namely, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop as Danny Ocean, Sam Harmon, Josh Howard, Jimmy Foster, and "Mushy" O'Connor, respectively. In this iteration, Danny and Jimmy, two World War II veterans, get nine other people together and decide to rob a whopping five casinos in Las Vegas (the Sahara, the Riviera, the Desert Inn, the Sands, and the Flamingo, specifically; out of these five, only the Sahara and Flamingo still exist today). 

Perhaps the weirdest part of the movie is that in the end, the guys don't even get the money from the heist — because the crew's electrics guy, Peter Bergdorf (Richard Conte), has a heart attack and dies before it's over. Desperate, the guys shove their windfall into Bergdorf's coffin, only for his widow to burn the whole thing — including the cash. The original "Ocean's 11" isn't bad, but it never reaches the heights of the remake.

"Ocean's Twelve" gets a lot of heat — probably because it had the misfortune of following the near-perfect "Ocean's Eleven" — but it's certainly not the worst of the five movies; in fact, it fits pretty squarely in the middle. Released in 2004, "Ocean's Eleven" reunites the same gang from "Ocean's Eleven" but gives Julia Roberts' Tess way more to do (in the first movie, she spends most of it skulking around a casino in the proximity of beautiful artwork being disappointed in George Clooney). It also, rather smartly, picks up the same narrative thread from the first film, letting wronged casino boss Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) go after Danny and his crew for robbing him in the previous movie ... and not only did Danny steal Terry's money, he also stole his girl (meaning Tess, who's romantically involved with Terry in "Ocean's Twelve").

In order to return Terry's money without getting killed, the crew of twelve sets out to pull a heist in Amsterdam but soon realize that a Europol detective, Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones), is hot on their heels ... and then realize she actually knows Rusty. With Isabel basically on board, the gang enters into a sort of heist competition with master thief Baron François Toulour (Vincent Cassel) with a Fabergé egg as the prize — which would allow Danny and his team to pay their debts. Add in a fun, silly plot where Tess has to impersonate Julia Roberts, and honestly, you've got a pretty good "Ocean's" movie!

In case you haven't figured this out yet, I want you to know that "Ocean's 8" absolutely rules. Directed by Gary Ross, the 2018 heist flick and spin-off only utilizes one person from Steven Soderbergh's "Ocean's" crew — Elliott Gould's Reuben Tishkoff, who shows up at the very end of the movie — while still keeping it in the same universe since the Ocean in this movie, Debbie (Sandra Bullock), is Danny's sister. (We learn that Danny is dead but learn nothing about his death, and that's the only part of this movie that I do not think is amazing.) After spending quite a bit of time in prison, Debbie returns to New York and tells her friend Lou Miller (Cate Blanchett) that she's ready for a new, huge job — and that she intends to rob the Met Gala, the annual Vogue event chaired by Anna Wintour that invites the world's most beautiful people to party at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Specifically, Debbie wants a particular Cartier necklace, the Toussaint (which, by the way, is a real necklace).

The rest of the crew is made up of hacker Leslie "Nine-Ball" (Rihanna), jeweler Amita (Mindy Kaling), pickpocket Constance (Awkwafina), moving man Tammy (Sarah Paulson), and downtrodden fashion designer Rose Weil (Helena Bonham Carter). Using Rose to trick haughty movie star Daphne Kluger (a delightful Anne Hathaway) into wearing the necklace so that they can switch it for a fake partway through the gala. This movie is an absolute blast, and the only thing truly wrong with it is that James Corden shows up near the end.

Steven Soderbergh's first "Ocean's" film, "Ocean's Eleven," is perfect. The movie, which came out in 2001, introduces us to Danny Ocean for the first time as he, like Debbie in "Ocean's 8," is leaving prison; after heading from New Jersey to Los Angeles, he meets up with Rusty before the two travel to Las Vegas to talk shop with Reuben Tishkoff. When the two tell Reuben they need his money to bankroll an enormous heist where they rob the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand — all of which are owned by Terry Benedict — at which point Reuben tells them they're insane. Still, like Danny, Reuben has a grudge against Terry, so he agrees to fund them and help them out, at which point the gang comes together.

Between con man Frank Catton (the late Bernie Mac), mechanics Virgil and Turk Malloy (Casey Affleck and Scott Caan), explosives guy Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle), acrobat "The Amazing" Yen (Qin Shaobo), electronics expert Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison), elderly yet very experienced con man Saul Bloom (the legendary Carl Reiner), and finally, pickpocket Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), the eleven have everything covered. When you realize exactly how they pull off their heist — right down to the replica of the vault — your jaw will be on the floor no matter how many times you've seen the movie, and if you don't feel a rush of joy as they all stand victoriously in front of the Bellagio fountain after robbing Terry blind, you're dead inside. "Ocean's Eleven" is the best of the "Ocean's" movies, and it's not close.