Tom Cruise Passed On The Simpsons, And An SNL Veteran Played His Character Instead

In the "The Simpsons" episode "Brother from the Same Planet" (February 4, 1993), Homer (Dan Castellaneta) forgets about Bart (Nancy Cartwright) at soccer practice, leaving him to wait for many hours. Bart, as he often does, accuses Homer of being a terrible father, and seeks revenge by submitting his name to the Bigger Brother agency (a riff on Big Brothers Big Sisters of America) hoping to find a new temporary guardian to care for him. Bart is paired with a charming, caring man named Tom (Phil Hartman), an ultra-cool test pilot. Tom is gentle and attentive, and Bart enjoys the time they spend together. Bart eventually starts to feel guilty, though, when he realizes Tom's time could be spent caring for a more disadvantaged child than he. 

As one might be able to intuit from watching the episode, Tom was meant to be played by a visiting celebrity, and Hartman, ever the professional, stepped in at the last minute. On the DVD commentary track for "Brother from the Same Planet," longtime "Simpsons" writer and producer Mike Reiss confirmed that the part was written for Tom Cruise. This is clear in that the character is not only named Tom, but he talks and behaves very much like Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, the character Cruise played in 1986's "Top Gun." 

In 1993, Cruise was already the world's biggest movie star, having most recently appeared in the dramas "Far and Away" and "A Few Good Men." Because "The Simpsons" already had a reputation for attracting celebrities to play bit parts, they decided to get ambitious and ask Hollywood's preeminent A-lister. 

Sadly, he turned them down.

There wasn't any stated reason for Cruise's refusal. It seems that he merely didn't want to participate. Cruise has always been notoriously protective of his image and is careful about the projects he chooses; he's actually better at being A Movie Star than he is at acting. Mike Reiss noted that, in order to more aggressively court Cruise, they made sure their script for "Brother" was already complete before asking. It also seems that Tom was a relentlessly decent person, not prone to the buffoonery or pathos of a typical "Simpsons" character. Indeed, when the Tom character finally gets to meet Homer near the episode's end, he instantly punches Homer in the face, acting on a long series of exaggerated stories Bart told him about Homer's drunkenness and abuse. 

Regardless, Cruise didn't want to be Tom. It's possible that Cruise didn't want to be associated with comedy at that point in his career, as he had put his "raunchy" phase (the phase that includes "Risky Business" and "Losin' It") far behind him. Cruise wouldn't appear in a comedy film until 2002, when he had a cameo in "Austin Powers in Goldmember." He wouldn't play a straight-up funny character until 2008, when he played the vicious producer Len Grossman in "Tropic Thunder." Cruise, it seems, can only handle comedy periodically. A pity, as he can be incredibly funny. 

Because the script was already complete, however, the makers of "The Simpsons" had to put it into production anyway, and they tapped Hartman, who had already appeared in multiple episodes of the series. 

It's worth repeating that "The Simpsons" had an unusual amount of cultural clout in its early seasons, and some might say its self-aware, self-effacing, lightly cynical worldview came to influence the prevailing attitudes and philosophies of the 1990s. As such, most celebrities were happy to appear on the show, whether as themselves, or playing bonkers characters.

Only a few notable stars turned down a chance to appear. Prince, perhaps predictably, refused to voice himself, as he notoriously took his art very seriously and refused to be mocked. He also famously refused "Weird Al" Yankovic's offers to parody his work. Bruce Springsteen turned down an invitation during the show's second season, so his part went to Sting. In the episode "Homer and Apu" (February 10, 1994), Apu (Hank Azaria) hired a celebrity apprentice to help him at the Kwik-E-Mart in the form of James Woods. It was Woods whom Apu was taking a bullet for in a widely circulated meme. It seems that the Woods role was initially offered to Michael Caine. 

In the episode "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious" (February 7, 1997), Quentin Tarantino (Castellaneta) was said to have guest-directed a segment of "Itchy and Scratchy," Bart's favorite cartoon, and was to appear on screen to analyze his own direction. It seems that the role was offered to Tarantino, but he refused, hating the dialogue he was given. And, indeed, the robotic clone of Richard Simmons, deleted from a scene in "Burns' Heir" (April 14, 1994) was intended to be played by Simmons. Simmons, however, hated the idea of playing a robot. 

Cruise may have refused to appear on "The Simpsons," but the writers eventually included him anyway. In "Much Apu About Nothing" (May 5, 1996), Apu aims to avoid a draconian deportation law by buying a fake ID and behaving like a "typical American." He throws away his Hindu paraphernalia, and begins caring more about celebrities. He does, however, eventually break down while holding an issue of EW. "Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesha, when I've got Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman ... staring at me from Entertainment Weekly WITH THEIR DEAD EYES!" 

A dig at Cruise? Perhaps.