Agatha All Along's New Original Song Isn't Just A Gag, And It's Still Quite An Earworm

Marvel Studios' first official entry into the streaming world came with "WandaVision" in 2021. It still stands as one of the better small screen chapters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, providing a compelling mystery and a meta spin on the television framework that spanned decades of sitcom tropes. In the series, Wanda Maximoff is trying to live a picture-perfect life with Vision, who was believed to have perished in "Avengers: Infinity War." Their relationship plays out across a variety of sitcom styles, ranging from "I Love Lucy" to "Modern Family," and it's in that last chapter where we learn that a powerful witch named Agatha Harkness has been manipulating Wanda.

What made the reveal especially memorable was that it played out musically in the form of a TV theme song and opening credits sequence for a faux show called "Agatha All Along," which is now a real show on Disney+. Written by Oscar-winning "Frozen" songwriting duo Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, the song worked as both a big reveal and a hilarious gag. Plus, the song was so catchy that it went viral and even became a meme. For fans who enjoyed this musical foray in "WandaVision," you'll be happy to know that the Lopez team returned to do some more songwriting for "Agatha All Along," but this time, the tune isn't quite so silly, and it plays an even bigger part in the show's story. 

"Agatha All Along" begins as Agatha slowly becomes aware that she's been trapped in a new kind of television spell created by Wanda Maximoff. The latest is a crime drama framework in the style of HBO's superb "Mare of Easttown" starring Kate Winslet, with some influences from "The Killing" and "True Detective" too. Agatha is a rough-around-the-edges detective named Agnes trying to solve a murder, but when a mysterious FBI agent (Aubrey Plaza) shows up as a witch who has a history with Agnes, as well as a young thief (Joe Locke) who enters her home looking for something, she begins to fall out of the spell and realizes she's been trapped in Westview for three years, which is how much time has passed since the events of "WandaVision."

After unraveling this mystery, she learns the young thief who entered her home is actually a young man of magical talents, and he's looking to gain access to "the road." The path he speaks of is the Witches' Road, and it's a perilous journey that witches must take in order to gain (or regain) their powers. Agatha sees potential in this young man, especially since he helped break Wanda's spell on her. However, for some reason, she's unable to hear his name, with his mouth and voice obscured whenever he begins to reveal key details about himself. This is even more intriguing, so she agrees to take him with her to the Witches' Road, though it seems like she may have an ulterior motive for bringing him along.

This teen isn't the only one coming on the trip, as Agatha has recruited a makeshift coven comprised of other fallen witches: Sasheer Zamata as Jennifer Kale, a cosmetic guru whose powers as a potions witch have been taken; Patti LuPone as Lilia Calderu, a divination witch who has occasional bursts of confusing, non-sequitur dialogue with herself; Ali Ahn as Alice Wu-Gulliver, a protection witch who is also a blood witch, with her mother also being a witch before her; and Debra Jo Rupp as Sharon (or Mrs. Hart), who Agatha brought on as a fourth in an effort to avoid bringing in Aubrey Plaza's character Rio Vidal, who has a thirst for killing Agatha but has agree to wait until she's restored her powers. No one is really keen on embarking down this path, but they all have something to gain.

Together, they begin a journey down the Witches' Road, and that means singing a ballad that opens the door to it.

Interestingly enough, the first version of "The Ballad of the Witches' Road" that we hear comes in the form of the theme song for the "Agnes of Westview" crime drama framework in the show's premiere. The subtitles for the episode indicate that this is a "True Crime" version of the song, hinting that we'll hear multiple variations on this tune. It's not until the second episode that we hear the proper "Sacred Chant" version of the song, which goes a little something like this:

And here are the lyrics to the ballad:

Seekest thou the road to all that's foul and fair
Gather sisters fire, water, earth and air
Darkest hour, wake thy power earthly and divine
Burn and brew with coven true and glory shall be thine

Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road

Circle sewn with fate, unlock thy hidden gate
Marching ever forward, 'neath the wooded shrine
I stray not from the path, I hold Death's hand in mine
Primal night, giveth sight, familiar by thy side
If sun be gone, we carry on, spirit as our guide

Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road

Blood and tears and bone, Maiden Mother Crone
The Road is wild and wicked, winding through the wood
Where all that's wrong is right, and all that's bad is good
Through many miles of tricks and trials, we'll wander high and low
Tame your fears, a door appears, the time has come to go

Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road
Down, down, down The Road, down the Witches' Road

Follow me, my friend, to glory at the end

Though a little slow to open, a door does appear at their feet in the floor of the basement, allowing Agatha's coven to escape just as the ominous threat of the Salem Seven arrive.

When you hear all of these women harmonizing (even Sharon joins in when she gets the hang of the tune), the song takes on a haunting but beautiful life, and not unlike "Agatha All Along," you're bound to get the refrain stuck in your head. However, this likely won't be the last time we hear the ballad. During the two-episode premiere, it's mentioned that Alice Wu-Gulliver's mother was a rock star, who was famous for singing "The Ballad of the Witches' Road," which was apparently a hit song in the 1970s in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a safe bet that we'll hear the '70s version of this song at some point too.

This is now a key piece of witch lore in the MCU, and the fact that it was created by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez makes it that much more special, especially when you consider the fact that it includes theater legend Patti LuPone among the voices. On top of that, the lyrics of the song also double as episode titles (at least in the episodes provided ahead of the show's premiere). Does the song hold any secrets that might make more sense as the show goes on? There's only one way to find out.

The first two episodes of "Agatha All Along" are available now on Disney+, and new episodes will arrive on Wednesday evenings.