Deadpool & Wolverine Is The Unapologetically Gay Movie Marvel And Disney Keep Claiming They Want To Make

This article contains spoilers for "Deadpool & Wolverine."

Let me get something out of the way — Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) do not kiss in "Deadpool & Wolverine." But if you think two people sharing a kiss on screen is the only way to display queerness authentically, you might as well admit that you need to be clocked with a pillowcase full of hammers labeled "OBVIOUS" to see what is right in front of you. Wade and Logan do not lock lips or swap spit but they don't need to, because Deadpool is canonically pansexual and his desire to smash "anything with a pulse" isn't dictated by who is in his cinnamon ring at any given moment.

The promotional posters have been strictly focused on bromance — and again, you're telling on yourself if you think friendship bracelets or a BFF necklace are inherently gay. But that doesn't negate Deadpool's clear desire to bang Wolverine like a screen door on the farmhouse from "Twisters" playing one screen over, with the glory-hole-ious official popcorn bucket practically serving as Wade's request to give Logan's face a ride.

Wolverine has also canonically had relationships with men in the comics (he was with Hercules and was in a throuple with Jean Grey and Cyclops. Suck it, bigoted nerds), but "Deadpool & Wolverine" is a case of Deadpool having the hots for Logan in all of his insanely shredded muscle daddy glory, and Wolverine showing his affection through violence like he's starring in John Woo's "Hard Boiled."

"Deadpool & Wolverine" is gay not because Marvel and Disney decided to let a straight director give some weepy monologue about having a dead husband that can easily be edited out for overseas audiences (could you imagine?) or by having a gay superhero kiss their partner — but because the style, pop culture references, and non-stop unapologetic reminders of Deadpool's equal opportunity horniess cannot be escaped.

"Deadpool & Wolverine" includes appearances from Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Neg's girlfriend Yukio, played by Shioli Kutsuna. This couple had a much bigger role in "Deadpool 2" and became the first explicitly queer couple in a major superhero movie. Karan Soni who plays Dopinder is also gay, although Dopinder's sexuality has not been confirmed. We know he loved Gita, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's strictly straight. Wade's emotional arc in this third installment is all about fighting to save the timeline where "his world" exists — which are his nine closest friends, Neg, Yukio, and Dopinder included.

The big bad this go around is Cassandra Nova played by non-binary actor Emma Corrin. There's always been a trans read to the Cassandra Nova character, because while it's easy to explain her away as "Charles Xavier's twin sister," she's actually the result of "chaotic cell matter" that survived after Charles tried to destroy her in the womb. She was conceived without a true body, forging a life through sheer force of will. A person crafting their own existence in a world that wants them dead is pretty damn trans-coded. And while nonbinary people do not owe the world androgyny, the gender presentation of Cassandra Nova gives serious "gender envy" vibes and Corrin's casting provides space for the ultimate "they/them causing may/hem" in the MCU.

While Dafne Keen — who returns as Laura/X-23 from "Logan" — has never publicly declared her sexual identity, she's currently making "Star Wars" fanboys twist themselves into knots with her queer character Jecki Lon on "The Acolyte." Her existence in the film will surely have the crowd who call people of color "DEI hires" and women "females" crying "woke" or whatever.

Deadpool and Wolverine may not kiss, but since Wade is our entry point into this world, we see Logan the way he sees Logan — which is to say in a manner that is equal parts heroic and objectifying. The camera lingers on his body with the same overt attempts at titillation as a slow-motion pan-up on Margot Robbie in "Suicide Squad," and instead of relying on the subtlety of subtext, Wade has no problem directly telling the camera, "Get your special sock out, nerds. It's gonna get good." Superhero movies — like professional wrestling — are inherently dripping in homoeroticism, and the best examples of both are when they embrace the over-the-top performance of gender with so much confidence you can't help but buy into the charade.

And I've heard the complaints — that it feels like Deadpool's overtly sexual comments or acknowledgment of slanging hog for all genders regardless of physical anatomy is nothing more than "Haha, isn't it sooo funny that this masculine superhero is GAY?!" But that's a line of thinking I don't subscribe to. Deadpool discussing his sexual desires and exploits is treated with the same level of sarcasm and humor as anything else he brings up. Whether it's "getting pegged by Time Variance Authority agents he mistakes for sex workers" or "why the Honda Odyssey sucks," Deadpool is going to discuss both with the same passion and penchant for profanity. "He's only talking about being gay for laughs" only works as an argument if you ignore that Deadpool will talk about literally anything for laughs because he's actually very insecure and it's all an act to avoid vulnerability.

I'm sure the disconnect some viewers have is because Reynolds himself is straight, but "They call me the Merc with a Mouth, they don't call me 'Truthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon'" sounds like an exchange straight out of "RuPaul's Drag Race." And who serves more c**t than the biggest c**t in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

The opening fight scene of the film is timed perfectly to *NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye," complete with Deadpool replicating Darrin Henson's choreography from the original music video (shout out to Dancepool double Nick Pauley). The "Guardians of the Galaxy" movies are known for their banging soundtracks, but there's a massive difference between Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees Electric Light Orchestra's "Mr. Blue Sky" and a millennial pop anthem from a boy band that still makes straight cis men insecure in their masculinity scream "no homo." And make no mistake, even if people laugh at the song choice, "Deadpool & Wolverine" uses the song with great respect. The replicated choreography is spot-on, and when he's not dancing, he's using the skeletal, adamantium remains of Logan as a weapon to massacre a squad of TVA agents in time with the music.

Wade and Logan's first fight takes place in The Void, and the homoeroticism kicks into high gear. There are a lot of penetration, crotch shots, and ass hits — choreographed like the superhero version of those pornos where people wrestle and the loser gets pegged. Alas, while it may be an R-rated movie, it's still a Disney movie, so we're not going to see anything overt the way "Deadpool" did in 2016 under the 20th Century Fox banner and it's foolish to think we ever will.

But there is such an intimacy to their combat that "Ha Ha, Wolverine stabbed Deadpool in the junk" feels like a shallow interpretation of the fight scene. Wade names edging as one of his favorite sexual activities, and that's precisely what a fight between Deadpool and Wolverine will always be. No matter how much pain they inflict — they'll never be able to stop the other. They're in a constant game of edging, where fighting is in place of f***ing.

And to be clear, these two are hate f***ing the hell out of each other.

You can practically smell the sweaty homoeroticism radiating off the screen, and no matter how many double entendres are lobbied or how suggestive their physical positioning becomes, at no point does "Deadpool & Wolverine" feel the need to toss in an "I'm not gay" panicked reaction. When the pair are stuck together in the Void on the way to see Cassandra Nova, Logan mentions Wade's boner being pressed against him. He's not grossed out or offended by it, just irritated he's getting rocked up at an inopportune moment. Wolverine doesn't see Wade as anything more than an annoying butthead (and later, friend) but it's not because he's a guy, it's because Wade Wilson is obnoxious.

Their most intimate fight takes place within the confines of a Honda Odyssey, as they beat the living piss out of each other immediately after Logan's grounded, dramatic reveal of his tortured past. If this were a romantic drama, it would be a passionate sex scene to break the serious tension that erupts after a character allows another person to see them be vulnerable. But since this is a Deadpool movie, it's a whole lot of slappin' each other around set to the tune of "You're The One That I Want" from "Grease." Sorry, but there's simply no straight explanation for that song choice in this context.

During the film's climax, Deadpool and Wolverine join forces in the ultimate bromance handshake, but the force of anti-matter and matter (a joke on Deadpool and Wolverine's perceived respective importance) is so strong that Wolverine's yellow suit explodes off of him to reveal Hugh Jackman's physique that makes him look like a Tom of Finland drawing. There were certainly people in my theater laughing at the way Wade was examining every curve of his six-pack, but I firmly believe that a reaction says more about a viewer than the subject at hand. I certainly didn't view Wade's ogling as a joke, but maybe that's because I don't think men expressing their attraction to other men is inherently funny. It just is. Sounds like a fanboy skill issue to me!

Alright. Rapid fire. Here's a bunch of random stuff featured in "Deadpool & Wolverine" that is unquestionably going to resonate more with the gay community than any other:

• "Succession" star Matthew Macfadyen acting like a b***y queen in a well-tailored suit.

• Rob Delaney's Glenn Hughes Jr. mustache.

• Every time Blind Al reads Wade to filth.

• Wolverine crucified on a Saint Andrew's cross (or an 'X' for our vanilla readers).

• "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne as an emotional needle drop.

• Nicepool's cartilage piercing.

• Rescuing a hideous dog with a face only a mother could love.

• Jennifer Garner kicking ass in a hot outfit and joking about being divorced from Ben Affleck.

• Pointing out that Gambit never got a movie (which we queers know was partially because Marvel rejected him being bisexual).

• Blade referencing the existence of "Blade: Trinity," aka the "Blade" movie that gave us Parker Posey as a vampire queen and Ryan Reynolds falling her a "c**k-juggling thunderc**t."

• Kicking ass to Madonna's "Like a Prayer."

• Baz Luhrmann-esque light firework sparks that make a heroic moment look like "Moulin Rouge."

• Blake Lively as Lady Deadpool. (You might think this is straight culture as she's married to Ryan Reynolds but nope, this is gay culture because we've had a claim to her in any roles that feature her in a perfectly fitted suit [super or otherwise] since "A Simple Favor.")

• The acknowledgment that the multiverse movie was already perfected with "The Wizard of Oz" and society screwed up by not listening to the gays.

There will undoubtedly be some queer folks upset with a lack of physical sexual connection between Deadpool and Wolverine and accuse the film (and the marketing) of queerbaiting. But considering Wade is pansexual, requiring a "prove it" rule on his part reeks of bi/panphobia and is, in my opinion, misdirected anger. Unless we're outright erasing Wade's canonical queerness, what we're really upset about is the commodification of language and a sense of humor that we used to view "as ours."

Wade's jokes are in the same vein of a gender-nonconforming person tweeting out "Hormones? More like whore moans," but because his jokes are under the capitalist machine of the dominant culture, it feels like the mainstreamification of a marginalized community. This is what always happens with progressive momentum, and "Deadpool & Wolverine" is arriving during a particularly prickly time for LGBTQIA+ people. Of course, these communal signifiers are absolutely at risk of sanitization, dilution, or being co-opted (it's already happened) ... but accusing Deadpool of these things because there's not a scene of him making out with Logan feels a lot like denying a person's bisexuality because they happen to be dating someone of a different gender.

And lest we forget, Logan is also some form of bi/pan. I don't know, it feels weird to demand a public display of affection to confirm their identities, but I also understand the hesitancy given Disney's embarrassing track record with LGBTQIA+ representation and creative freedom. I don't decry queer people who are sick of what feels like commodification, but I'd rather embrace how ridiculously gay this movie is and honor Wade's identity than let annoying bigots feel like they've won.

I want them to sit in the discomfort of knowing that kiss or no kiss, this movie is f***ing GAY.

If you've made it this far, I commend you, because I fully expect the majority of people to read this headline and become so blinded with red-hot rage that they self-combust (or just harass me on social media, but that's basically the same thing). Here's the thing about Deadpool — his schtick wears thin with a lot of folks because he's unironically embraced as "Marvel Jesus" by the absolute worst people on the planet.

The Venn diagram of people who took the wrong messages from "Fight Club" and people who cosplay as Deadpool and think that gives them a pass to fondle strangers carte blanche at conventions is a f***ing circle. But when you remove Deadpool the character from the culture of the Deadpool fandom, he reminds me of all of the inappropriate, catty, messy gays I call family — especially the old queens with a style of humor that went out of style years ago, not unlike the Merc with the Mouth.

Deadpool has far more in common with his LGBTQIA+ community than the aggressively straight bros who put him up on a pedestal, but he's such a colossal pain in the ass all the time I understand why so many queer people don't want to claim him as ours. No, "Deadpool & Wolverine" is not a queer story in terms of its actual story arc, but it's a queer movie because Deadpool is an unapologetically queer character and the movie doesn't ask him to stifle that part of his identity.

It's time the LGBTQIA+ community embraces Deadpool's pansexuality (even if he is annoying) because the more we embrace him as "ours," the less his gay jokes can be viewed as "for laughs." Because the humor is coming from the painfully hetero world of Marvel, the general public is conditioned to laugh at these jokes instead of with them. Embracing Deadpool as a queer or pan is to dull the blade (or claws) of our detractors.

"Deadpool & Wolverine" is a gay movie. Deal with it.