House Of The Dragon's Biggest Idiot Just Set His Sights On The Show's Most Competent Character
This article contains spoilers for "House of the Dragon" season 2, episode 2.
A little less than two years ago, I wrote a piece for /Film titled "Aegon is a Dumpster Fire, But You Would Be Too." It was an assessment of how Alicent Hightower and King Viserys' eldest son had been growing into an entitled, hormonally-charged, revolting teenage boy, joining the ranks of equally nightmarish royal teens of Westeros from "Game of Thrones" and setting the stage for his inevitable transition into an insufferable twat king. We know how the Dance of the Dragons ends, but watching Aegon's development — and watching the rest of the kingdom react to it — certainly makes for frustrating albeit riveting television.
Under the false impression that Viserys wanted Aegon to be his successor, "House of the Dragon" season 2 starts with him becoming increasingly drunk with power. His closest comrades have been trying to come up with a "clever moniker," workshopping titles like "Aegon the Dragoncock — the Untamable Beast" to uproarious laughter. Looks like Team Green has backed a king with the same sense of humor as a 2000s comedy playing on Comedy Central on a Tuesday afternoon. I'm sure they won't regret this in the slightest.
At the same time, Aegon has been molded this way by the nonstop enabling from everyone around him, so I can't even be surprised he ended up as such a massive Failson. But season 2, episode 2 finally shows him making buffoonish decisions that will have disastrous results for him moving forward, like firing Otto Hightower from his position as Hand of the King and replacing him with Westeros' biggest simp, Ser Criston Cole.
The aftermath of A Son for a Son
The season opener ended with tragedy, as Prince Jaehaerys Targaryen, the son of Aegon and his wife/sister Helaena, was brutally murdered at the request of Daemon Targaryen as revenge for Aegon's brother Aemond killing Rhaenyra's son Lucerys. The intended target was Aemond, but when the hired hitmen couldn't find him, they were given the instruction to kill "a son for a son," meaning Jaehaerys was decapitated while his mother fled in horror with his twin sister, Jaehaera. This rightfully put Aegon on a rampage, because his son and heir was brutalized in one of the cruelest moments of the entire world of George R.R. Martin's "Game of Thrones."
Otto Hightower makes the brilliant decision to honor the slain prince with a parade in the streets, followed by a cart carrying Helaena and Alicent. "The realm must see the sorrow of the crown, a sorrow best expressed through its most gentle selves," he says. It's brilliant because the exploitative sight would paint Rhaenyra as a monster. Otto's keen, strategic advice is a great success. The poor baby's head moves separately from the body on the parade and it is beyond upsetting. Rhaenyra loses allies immediately, and Team Green earns overwhelming sympathy.
But Aegon sees this plan as weak, and wants "to spill blood, not ink." He bludgeons one of the killers to death, Blood the butcher, with his own instrument. Not to give Aegon a pass or anything ... but I get it. The man decapitated a baby, mercy is not something many would believe he deserved. Before he dies, Blood gives up the identity of his partner as a ratcatcher, but didn't know his name.
So, Aegon kills all of the ratcatchers and hangs their bodies on display outside the kingdom, angering the citizens and undoing the gains Otto's plan had given him. And then it gets worse because Aegon is a foolish braggart who cares only about instant gratification and petty victories instead of looking toward the future.
The rise of Ser Criston Cole
Larys "foot fetishist" Strong has already been in Aegon's ear about how Otto Hightower was his father's Hand of the king, but once Ser Criston Cole — Westeros' example of what happens when an incel finally gets his shlong wet but never unlearns his incel behavior — takes time off from schtupping Aegon's mom and orders Ser Arryk Cargill to pose as his twin brother Erryk to assassinate Rhaenyra, Aegon is enamored with his similar bloodlust. Lest we forget, while Criston Cole seems to be happily tonguing the pearl of the cherry of the Dowager Queen Alicent, he is still not over being rejected by a teenage Rhaenyra and making it everyone else's problem. He doesn't want to help Aegon because he believes in him or wants to impress Alicent, he's a bitter lil' beta who wants to hurt Rhaenyra for breaking his heart. But hey, who needs the brilliance of the most competent man in Westeros when you can have Ser Simps-a-Lot?
Men will really call for an assassination instead of going to therapy, huh?
Once Otto hears about the plan, he's furious that Aegon and Ser Criston Cole are acting without consulting him or the Green Council, but Aegon doesn't care because he's an 18-year-old jackass. The Hand of the King tells Aegon that he sucks as a king and Viserys' death was a huge loss to them all, which brings out the current king's most teenage behavior when he claps back, "He made me king." Otto can't help but laugh and reply, "Is that what you think?" This proves deep down that the Hightowers do know that Viserys wanted Rhaenyra, they're just tools who wanted power. But instead of taking the truth and letting it humble him, Aegon fires Otto and replaces him with Ser Criston Cole. He even admits that he did it because he "finds it stimulating," because when you have everything at your disposal, you gotta lean into some real freak or foolish behavior just to feel something.
GOOD LUCK, AEGON! CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU AND YOUR UGLY HAIRCUT TO FIND YOUR NEW HAND KNUCKLE DEEP IN YOUR MOM SOMETIME!
Anyway, new episodes of "House of the Dragon" season 2 drop Sundays on HBO and Max.