This Is A Very Serious Review Of The New Despicable Me 4 Minions Popcorn Bucket

This summer, "Despicable Me 4" is coming to theaters, bringing back Steve Carell as Gru, the super-villain who has since become an agent of the Anti-Villain League. Over the years, Gru and his girls Margo (Miranda Cosgrove), Edith (Dana Gaier), and Agnes (Madison Polan) have been through plenty of wild adventures, and now that they're joined by Gru's wife Lucy (Kristen Wiig), they're welcoming a little bundle of joy into the family: Gru Jr., who is apparently intent on tormenting his dad.

However, the family will be forced on the run, as Gru is forced to deal with a new nemesis in the form of Maxime Le Mal (Will Ferrell) and his femme fatale girlfriend Valentina (Sofia Vergara). Of course, the little yellow Minions will be joining them, ensuring there will be plenty of chaos (and bananas and farts) in theaters this summer.

Since the "Despicable Me" franchise is obviously very serious, we wanted to provide an equally serious review of a new piece of merchandise that will be exclusively available at Universal Studios theme parks. Since stylized, collectible popcorn buckets are all the rage right now, from the suggestive "Dune" popcorn bucket to "Ghostbusters" ghost traps, "Despicable Me 4" is getting a new Minions popcorn bucket to enhance the serious business of eating popcorn, especially if you're on the go. Because if there's one problem that we all have, it's needing a convenient popcorn receptacle that looks like a Minion.

Look, eating popcorn is one of the most challenging things that we absolutely have to do as humans. Whether you're watching a movie at home or at the local multiplex, it can be extremely tricky to both hold on to popcorn and manage to get it into your mouth. Sure, you might have a sturdy popcorn bowl at home that has been tailor made to hold food for eating, but when is the last time a bowl brought joy to your life? Meanwhile, if you're at the theater, by default you've got flimsy cardboard containers that quickly get bent up and greasy, especially when you soak that popcorn in faux butter goo from a mysterious fountain. So why not let the Minions assist in your popcorn consumption in the same way they will soon help Gru as part of the new Gru Crew?

This Minions popcorn bucket is a compact popcorn container that will immediately wash away any of life's fears and worries. Whether it's the crippling, creeping concern of mortality or a tremendous amount of financial debt brought upon by the promise of the benefits of higher education, the Minions popcorn bucket will wash it all away. From my own personal experience, I can tell you that I literally worried about nothing else while I was staring at this Minions popcorn bucket and taking pictures of it for a few minutes. Yes, of course, when I was done, all of my usual anxiety and everyday problems returned to my mind, but for those few glorious minutes, it was just me and my Minions popcorn bucket. I didn't even have popcorn in it! Imagine how you'll feel with that salty, buttery goodness filed inside his little yellow body.

Speaking of which, one of the benefits (though potentially a detriment) of the new Minions popcorn bucket is that it doesn't hold a gargantuan amount of popcorn. It's a relatively small container that probably holds the same amount of popcorn that comes in a microwave popcorn bag (maybe a tad more). That means you won't lose yourself entirely to the buttery goodness of popcorn and risk a descent into madness that will undoubtedly start to impact your whole family. If you had a bigger popcorn bucket, you might spend more time eating this delicious treat instead of having quality time with your spouse or playing with your kids. 

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, you could all share the popcorn out of the back of this Minion's little skull. But if there's one thing I know about Minions, it's that they demand all of your attention, or they threaten everyone and everything you love. Plus, you'll run out of popcorn even faster, and then you'll be forced to reckon with a whole new array of complicated emotions and woes, like where to get more popcorn, an increasingly rare commodity in the post-apocalyptic world where this Minions popcorn bucket has become a prized possession. (Trust me, since this is only available in Universal Studios theme park locations in Orlando and Hollywood, this will be the currency of our dystopian future landscape.)

While we're on the subject of the impending threat of a dangerous future, the Minions bucket has one more bonus. The red Gru Crew outfit that he's wearing, including the fashionable hat and the strap for easily carrying it around, can be removed entirely. So if you don't want your Minion to wear the new wardrobe inspired by a new element of their work in "Despicable Me 4," you can just have a blue overalls-wearing Minion sitting on your shelf and waiting for the Ceremonial Popcorn Feast of the Elders. Plus, when you remove the red jumpsuit, you'll be able to hand it off to the little radioactive mutant who has been infringing upon your resources under the threat of chewing your face off.

So there you have it. The new "Despicable Me 4" popcorn bucket in the shape of one of those rascally Minions is a silly little piece of pop culture memorabilia that just might be enough to give you hope, no matter how dangerous that might be in this delicate climate. 

Grab the "Despicable Me 4" Minions popcorn bucket at Universal Studios theme park locations in Orlando and Hollywood now.