There's A Chinese Remake Of B-Horror Classic Anaconda, And The Trailer Is Absolutely Bonkers

Here's something you probably didn't expect to see today: A trailer for a Chinese remake of the '90s horror B-movie classic "Anaconda." Yes, really. And, to be perfectly honest, you're probably not prepared for just how bonkers this thing looks. Of course the original movie is pretty bonkers on its own, but this is taking things to another level. Before we discuss this further, it's probably best you watch this insanity for yourself. Check it out above.

So yeah ... much to discuss, much to process. First and foremost, the broad beats of the plot appear to be in line with the original film, with some extra stuff thrown in there. Most notably, there appears to be a lot more giant snake action. The original "Anaconda" had an animatronic snake that was very tough to work with, which limited director Luis Llosa a bit. Here? It's just lots of pretty decent CGI craziness. There's also a tiny snake being pulled out of a man's ear, a big stick being jammed down a giant snake's throat, and some gratuitous hosing of small snakes off a woman on a boat. There's so much going on here. We don't have an official synopsis for the remake, but the synopsis for the original reads as follows:

A documentary film crew, headed by anthropologist Steve Cale and director Terri Flores, ventures into the world's most isolated jungle – the Amazon – in search of a lost and forgotten civilization. Early in their journey, they come to the aid of Paul Serone, a Paraguayan guide, who joins their expedition. But Serone is actually a poacher on the trail of a legendary snake. When Serone hijacks the boat and its crew on his quest to track and kill the giant snake, he steers the expedition right into the path of the deadly monster.

Sony Pictures Television is involved in the remake. Given that Sony produced the original, that makes sense. Hesheng Xiang and Qiuliang Xiang ("Monkey King and City of Demons") directed this version, and the cast includes Terence Yin, Nita Xia, Paul Che, Jiu Kong, Ken Lok, Wang Xing Chen, Wang Gang, Wang Zi Run, Xu Shao Hang, and Wu Hao.

This has been a surprisingly enduring franchise since its inception nearly 30 years ago. In 2004, we got the theatrically released "Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid." That was followed up by a couple of direct-to-video offerings in the form of 2008's "Anaconda 3: Offspring" and 2009's "Anaconda: Trail of Blood." (There was also, amazingly enough, "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda.") It's worth noting that the third movie stars David Hasselhoff and John Rhys-Davies, and is, as you might expect, pretty wild. But it looks downright tame compared to what's coming down the pipeline.

Meanwhile, Sony has been trying to revive the franchise for several years in Hollywood. Last we heard in 2020, the studio had tapped Evan Daugherty ("Snow White and the Huntsman") to pen an "Anaconda" reboot. We've heard very little about it in the years since. Who knows? Maybe this Chinese version will get things moving. If nothing else, we've got this craziness to look forward to in the near future.

The "Anaconda" remake doesn't currently have a U.S. release date, but stay tuned as it will surely be available sometime later this year.