Madame Web Post-Mortem: Which Comics Character Should Sydney Sweeney Play Instead?

Not many people have seen "Madame Web" and an even smaller slice of the moviegoing population like the movie.

It stuck out to me that star Dakota Johnson seems to be under the impression that the film was set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (it is not, and after its abysmal performance, it will never crossover). I don't know if this is Sony Pictures feeding the actors and/or their agents misleading information or if movie stars like Johnson (understandably) can't be bothered to learn the nerdy logistics of these franchises.

Still, this got me thinking how the Marvel Cinematic Universe doesn't have a "no previous superhero roles" bar to entry. Oscar Isaac, who played the villain in the disastrous "X-Men: Apocalypse," was then recruited to star in "Moon Knight." Christian Bale, a generation's Dark Knight, played Gorr the God Butcher in "Thor: Love and Thunder" because of his children's pleading.

In "Madame Web," Sydney Sweeney plays Julia Cornwall, the future Spider-Woman. There's a flash of her in costume, but any origin story or extensive web-slinging is saved for a sequel that will never be made. Still, Sweeney has star power, having headlined the runaway hit romcom of 2023, "Anyone But You."

Assuming "Madame Web" doesn't turn her off the funny books, and the superhero genre doesn't totally flame out in the next couple of years, here are other comic book roles Sweeney would fit in.

It's baffling to me that, in developing a woman-led Spider-Man spin-off, Sony chose to concentrate resources on "Madame Web" instead of a Black Cat movie. (They placed "Silver & Black," a movie putting Cat together with fellow feminine anti-hero Silver Sable, on the back burner.) Worse, Sony was able to get Sydney Sweeney under contract for one of their Spider-Man Cinematic Universe movies and didn't cast her as Black Cat, a role that actually fits.

I'd wager Black Cat is at least marginally better known than Madame Web (she certainly shows up in Spider-Man media more, like the recent Insomniac Studios "Spider-Man" video games). Plus, there's a better hook: Felicia Hardy/Black Cat is a thief (get it? cat burglar). So, with her, you can make a superhero heist movie. Black Cat is basically Marvel's Catwoman and this set-up worked for the animated film "Catwoman: Hunted."

But even better, put Sweeney in "Spider-Man 4" as Black Cat and have her face off with Tom Holland's Spider-Man. I've argued before that Black Cat is a natural addition after where "Spider-Man: No Way Home" left Peter Parker.

Sweeney is not only good at playing confident and sexy characters, she's great at performing breakdown scenes, as seen in "Euphoria" ("I don't even know why she would say that!"). Imagine her playing the scene from Brian Michael Bendis/Mark Bagley's "Ultimate Spider-Man," when Felicia takes off Spidey's mask to kiss him, realizes he's only a teenager, has a mild panic attack, and then vomits. It's hilarious in the comic, and onscreen, it would turn the MCU's aversion to sex into a gag.

The integration of the X-Men and Marvel Studios is well underway. From Patrick Stewart appearing as Professor X in "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness" to Kelsey Grammer showing up as Beast in "The Marvels," it seems like the MCU is mostly reusing actors from previous "X-Men" movies produced at 20th Century Fox. (Hugh Jackman will be returning as Wolverine this summer.)

However, Emma Frost/The White Queen has not had a definitive live-action portrayal — January Jones was ill-served by the character's handling in "X-Men: First Class." A telepath who can turn her skin diamond-hard ("I am, by definition, my own best friend"), Emma was once a mousey girl who wanted to be a teacher, disappointing her abusive old money father. So, she remade herself inside and out and then clawed her way to power with her grit and beauty, seducing men who foolishly thought Emma's flaunting and dress sense gave them power over her. She's gone from enemy to ally of the X-Men, and her mission is to secure mutant-kind's future with the power of capitalism.

Sweeney would be a vision as Emma Frost (she certainly looks like a queen in white). Take her role in "The White Lotus" as Olivia, a rich b*tch who radiates bored contempt. That mood is just what Emma needs. At the same time, Sweeney's acting in "Euphoria" shows she can play emotionally fragile characters as well. A confident exterior with a hidden heart of diamonds is just the mix a proper Emma Frost needs.

Amora is an Asgardian Enchantress who is in love with Thor; her villainous schemes aren't just about bringing the God of Thunder to heel, but to her side as well. Frankly, I think Amora and her lust-fueled quest would've made a much better antagonist for "Thor: Love and Thunder" than Gorr the God Butcher, a universe-threatening baddie in a movie that can't even pretend to have stakes — but that's neither here nor there.

Sweeney fits the Enchantress for the same reason she fits Miss Frost. She can play cold and imperious characters; her gaze inspires a fear of her disdaining you and her baritone voice comes with a side of ice (even if she can also easily swap those out with her killer smile or puppy dog eyes).

However, given Amora's characterization of desiring the world's strongest man, just imagine her characterized like Cassie Howard (Sweeney's "Euphoria" character) — an emotional and self-involved person but one with low self-esteem who tries to boost herself by pursuing disaster romances. Cassie has Nate Jacobs (Jacob Elordi), and Amora has Thor (Chris Hemsworth). Sweeney's overemotional breakdowns as Cassie ("I have never, EVER been happier!!") would definitely be a refreshing comedy break from Marvel's typical sitcom-level quipping.

You bet when I say "comics" I'm counting manga! Netflix has been pushing live-action anime adaptations and the "Naruto" movie just scored the director of "Shang-Chi," Destin Daniel Cretton. As the superhero movie bubble bursts, will Hollywood look to fill the void with comics drawn on the other side of the globe?

In any case, my favorite shōnen manga/anime is "Fullmetal Alchemist" — I definitely do not have a full fan cast for a Hollywood-made version on my Notes app. (Steven Yeun as Roy Mustang or bust!)

The titular Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, is named as such because he has metal prosthetics for his right arm and left leg. For his physical, he doesn't go to a doctor, he goes to a mechanic. Specifically, his childhood friend: the beautiful, blonde, and short-tempered "engineering otaku," Winry Rockbell.

Sweeney herself is a gearhead. She has a TikTok account, @syds_garage, where she shares videos of herself fixing cars. In 2022, she personally restored a 1969 Ford Bronco. The artist @thirihtart, who is evidently a fan of both Sweeney and "Fullmetal Alchemist," made a connection and in 2021, redrew this Rosie the Riveter-inspired promotion art of Winry in Sweeney's likeness. The drawing made its way to Sweeney, who shared it on Twitter the next day and made it the profile picture for @syds_garage.

iykyk ;) pic.twitter.com/36eO3nMTyL

— Sydney Sweeney (@sydney_sweeney) March 13, 2021

For the record, though "Fullmetal Alchemist" is made in Japan, the story takes place in a European-inspired setting — white-washing is a non-issue. So, any producers or directors who think they can adapt "Fullmetal Alchemist," take note; cast Sweeney and you won't even need her to act for the scenes when Winry geeks out over new wrenches.

"Madame Web" is now playing in theaters.