Every Fantastic Four Movie Ranked

The first "Fantastic Four" comic book was published in November 1961, although it wasn't until issue #3 that the comics regularly came emblazoned with the superlative declaration "THE WORLD'S GREATEST COMIC MAGAZINE!" No one protested. The goal of the Fantastic Four was to tap into the natural enormity of comic book superhero stories: These were larger-than-life characters going on cosmic adventures and doing battle with planet-eating alien demigods. The very bodies of the titular Four were reminiscent of the four elements: One was made of stone, one was made of fire, one had a liquid-like body, and one was invisible like air. 

And yet, through the melodramatic opera of their adventures, the Fantastic Four had appealingly banal personal lives. Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman struggled to make their marriage work. The Human Torch and the Thing bickered constantly. The fact that the Human Torch was the Invisible Woman's brother only complicated matters. The World's Greatest Comic Magazine could also function perfectly well as a family sitcom. 

The Fantastic Four, one might think, would be excellent fodder for feature films, given that outsize characters and cosmic adventures translate well to a cinematic medium. Sadly, there have been four live-action "Fantastic Four" movies (five, counting a cameo in "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness"), and none of them have been widely praised or well-received. The highest-rated film only has a 38% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Weirdly, the FF have been better utilized as guest stars in animated TV shows than they have been as stars. 

But having seen the five films in question, /Film can comfortably rank them. 

The issues with Josh Trank's 2015 version of "Fantastic Four" stem not from the filmmaker's new ideas, but from an abysmal script (that Trank co-wrote with Simon Kinberg and Jeremy Slater). The film reeks of studio interference, with awkward dialogue scenes and a new tone introduced every 20 minutes. It's a film that feels like it's in a constant state of starting over. The idea of the Fantastic Four (Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, and Michael B. Jordan) being 20-something child prodigies is actually a fine idea. The transformation of Dr. Doom from a Latverian dictator to an embittered blogger is also a fine transformation, allowing the character's inherent pettiness to rise to the surface. 

Heck, Trank's film even captures an element of the body horror that might arise from being mutated by cosmic rays; there's a terrifying scene wherein Jordan is strapped to a gurney, on fair, and unable to burn away. That's horror movie stuff. Same with the Thing's employment as a soldier against his will. Bringing that darkness into the Fantastic Four was a fascinating wrinkle.

The bigger problem is that the story is awful. It tries to do too much, and never settles on its ultimate goal or themes. And, golly, when it tries to be cute or funny, it fails miserably. It's the World's Greatest Comic Magazine dragged down to the Year's Worst Studio Blockbuster.

About halfway through Sam Raimi's barely-passable fantasy flick "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness," the title hero finds himself in a parallel universe wherein he is interrogated by the Illuminati, a secret cadre of superheroes who aim to judge him. The Illuminati is made up of characters from "What If...?," a character from the long-forgotten "Inhumans" TV series, and Marvel superheroes previously owned by 20th Century Fox. The cameos are shameless and largely elicited eye-rolls from tired Marvel Cinematic Universe fans. 

One of the cameos was from Mr. Fantastic (John Krasinski), standing apart from the other members of the Fantastic Four. He gravely intones some serious-sounding dialogue before confronting the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen). At the very least, Sam Raimi had the good taste to murder off these shameless cameo characters in a spectacular fashion. (Mr. Fantastic is magically turned into noodles.) 

Overall, "Multiverse of Madness" is a weak film, bearing too little of Raimi's trademark kinetics, nor possessed of a terribly interesting story. The very idea of visiting parallel versions of superheroes we know was, I sense, supposed to feel like a revolutionary concept, but in practice, it merely made the MCU reach a new plane of pandering. Even the casting of Krasinski was a fan-pandering move, as it was inspired by a popularly circulated piece of fan art. There is no wit to this film, nor to the FF cameo. 

Tim Story's 2005 version of "Fantastic Four," despite being widely maligned, actually got a lot right about the super-team. For one, the casting was pretty good. Ioan Gruffudd captured the wonderful gee-whiz qualities of Mr. Fantastic, Chris Evans was appropriately cocky as the Human Torch, and Michael Chiklis brought both toughness and soul to the Thing. As Dr. Doom, Julian McMahon is serviceable as a would-be dictator who is locked into a metal mask. Only Jessica Alba felt a little out of her element at the Invisible Girl. 

Story also captured the right tone, keeping his film light and sitcom-adjacent; he knew that a big part of the Fantastic Four is their capacity for petty inter-family drama, and this film is replete with bickering. 

The problem is that "Fantastic Four" is barely a superhero movie. This was supposed to be an outsize superpowered adventure, and the plot never brings our character to the fore as a super-team. Instead, the characters are far more concerned about undoing their powers, designing costumes, and hiring publicists. These are fine subplots, but it would have been nice if there had been an "A" plot at all.

Story's follow-up to his unloved but financially successful 2005 film gained points for having a stronger story and a welcome injection of weirdness. The title character, the Silver Surfer, is a strange concept to begin with, and the movie rolls with his mystery. It seems the Silver Surfer (Doug Jones) is the herald of a space-faring, planet-eating monster called Galactus, and he arrives to interact with a planet's citizens a few days before his boss comes in and starts munching. Why he surfs is never explained. Doctor Doom (McMahon) will eventually try to gain control of the Surfer's surfboard, which would bestow superpowers beyond his wildest dreams. 

There is also a sitcom subplot about Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman getting married, which leads to some awkward conversations about bachelor parties. 

"Rise of the Silver Surfer" still feels rushed and small, but it seems to be correcting a lot of the problems of its predecessor. Ultimately, the film is little more than watchable, but "watchable" is better than some of the films we have seen to date. Was it the grand epic worthy of the Greatest Comic Magazine title? No. That film hasn't come out yet. 

Oley Sassone's 1994 version of "The Fantastic Four" was never meant to be seen. It was rumored for years that the film, made for only $1 million, was made merely as a way for New Concorde, Roger Corman's studio, to retain the rights. If one owns the rights to a hot entertainment property, one has to make a film or a TV show before a certain time, or those rights revert back to the original owner. This is why Universal makes monster movies every decade or so: They've gotta hang on to that sweet, sweet Wolf Man intellectual property. (The rumor of the rights situation surrounding "The Fantastic Four" was confirmed by Stan Lee in a 2005 issue of Los Angeles Magazine.)

The making of and stalled release of "The Fantastic Four" movie was talked about in depth in the 2015 documentary film "Doomed!: The Untold Story of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four." 

Because the Fantastic Four were such a hot property, however, the film eventually leaked to the public, and now it is found easily online. One might balk at watching Sassone's film because, well, it is very, very cheap. The costumes look cheap (the Thing notwithstanding), the effects are cheap, and the photography is cheap. 

And yet ... it had something. The script, by Craig J. Nevius and Kevin Rock, captures the superlative language of the original comics, giving the impression that this low-budget oddity is actually reaching for grandeur. That's not a quality possessed by any of the other, more expensive "Fantastic Four" movies. The attempt to touch the stars with only pocket change makes the film fascinating and entertaining. It's campy, but that's fine. The original comics are campy. 

What's more, Dr. Doom (Joseph Culp) looks amazing.

It's the best one. Really.