The Depressing Reason Matthew Perry Refused To Watch Friends

Everyone has their comfort shows. It doesn't matter how painfully dated their cultural references become, or if certain elements have come to make you cringe at their insensitivity, you find yourself returning to these series again and again like an old companion. For me, that series is "Community," a sitcom that brought me welcome joy when I needed it at the end of a painful year full of heartbreak and hardship. For others, that show is "Friends," the long-running comedy series about a group of 20-something pals (and, in certain cases, eventual romantic partners) that has continued to enjoy an extended shelf life thanks to streaming.

Those who are deeply invested in the merry misadventures of Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey suffered a terrible blow this past weekend when actor Matthew Perry tragically died at the age of 54. The man behind Chandler Bing was known for being a lot like his "Friends" character, so much so it was difficult to say where one ended and the other began. Both were known for wearing their snarkiness like a shield to guard their vulnerable soul, so it only made sense when Chandler — a deceptively layered character — evolved into the true heart of the show. It's through him that the series was able to really explore the messy process through which people settle into adulthood over the course of their 20s.

Given the similarities between himself and Chandler, one would understand if Perry was hesitant to rewatch "Friends." It would be a little like watching short films you made and starred in back when you were fresh out of college (not that I would know anything about that...). However, for Perry, the show was a reminder of something far more unpleasant: his offscreen struggles with drugs and alcohol.

Perry was always candid about his drug abuse and excessive drinking, and his November 2022 interview with "Q with Tom Power" was no exception. Explaining why he refrained from revisiting "Friends," Perry said, "I didn't watch the show and haven't watched the show because I could go drinking ... opiates ... drinking ... cocaine. Like I could tell season by season by how I looked." I can only imagine it's like looking at an old photo of yourself that reminds you of all the problems you were dealing with when it was taken, only multiplied by 10. "And I don't think anybody else can, but I certainly could," Perry added. "And that's why I don't want to watch it because that's what I see, that's what I noticed when I watch it."

In his memoir "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" (via People), Perry noted that you can also tell what substances he was abusing on any given season of "Friends" based on his appearance:

"You can track the trajectory of my addiction if you gauge my weight from season to season — when I'm carrying weight, it's alcohol; when I'm skinny, it's pills. When I have a goatee, it's lots of pills. By the end of season three, I was spending most of my time figuring out how to get 55 Vicodin a day — I had to have 55 every day, otherwise I'd get so sick."

At the same time, Perry never begrudged the joy others got out of rewatching "Friends." In fact, he told Power, "But I think I'm going to start to watch it because, first of all, it was an incredible ride. But it's been an incredible thing to watch it touch the hearts of different generations. It's become this important, significant thing and I, you know, I would watch that again. It was really funny and all the people were nice. And I've been too worried about this."

It's a credit to Perry that he was able to recognize how meaningful "Friends" had become to so many people in his lifetime. No one could reasonably blame him for not wanting to revisit such a vivid reminder of all the difficulties he was going through when he was making the show. Frankly, he would've been completely justified in putting his foot down and stating, in no uncertain terms, that he would never watch the series again. Regardless of whether he ever actually did or not, it's good to know he was able to make some peace with his past.