A Proper Barbenheimer Movie Is Coming From Legendary Trash Maestro Charles Band

Greta Gerwig's "Barbie" and Christopher Nolan's "Oppenheimer" were meant to be counter-programming for each other. They both opened in theaters on July 21, 2023, and one can practically hear the studio executives at both Universal and Warner Bros. positing that a younger audience would be dropped off to see the PG-13-rated "Barbie" while adults would sidle into the theater next door to watch "Oppenheimer." What no one seemed to predict was that there was a great deal of overlap between the two films' intended audiences, and a grassroots campaign began to see the two pictures as the ultimate double feature. The phenomenon nicknamed Barbenheimer began. Any number of unauthorized Barbenheimer T-shirts can be purchased online, and many managed to see both films on the same weekend. Rather than siphoning money from one another, "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer" buoyed each other, each one adding to the other's success. Both films are among the biggest hits of the year. 

The portmanteau was, however, never copywritten. It was merely a slang term. 

Until now. According to a report from JoBlo, Charles Band, the head honcho of the long-lived B-movie studio Full Moon Features, has put a feature film called "Barbenheimer" into pre-production. 

Band, as brave genre lovers know, is the mastermind behind the "Puppet Master" franchise, the "Gingerdead Man" series, the "Evil Bong" series, the "Subspecies" franchise, the "Josh Kirby ... Time Warrior" series, the "Trancers" series, "Demonic Toys," "Castle Freak," and dozens of other notable grindhouse, horror, and softcore sex movies. (The latest film from Full Moon was "Subspecies V: Blood Rise.")

Coming sometime in the holiday season of 2023, "Barbenheimer" will be a comedy film about living dolls who build an atomic bomb. The film's tagline is "D-Cup, A-Bomb."

Full Moon has long been obsessed with miniature killers and doll-sized monsters as evidenced in "Puppet Master," "Gingerdead Man," "Hideous," and any number of other movies about murderous homunculi. "Barbenheimer," then, will abide by that ethos, presenting a world of living, Barbie-like dolls who, outraged by sexism, aim to blow up the world with their own atomic bomb. The press release reads: 

Deep within Dollsville, a group of fed-up female dolls — led by the brilliant Dr. Barbenheimer — build an atomic bomb. Their mission? To bring down the patriarchy once and for all! But as the battle of the sexes swells, will Barbenheimer and her bevy of beauties end up blowing up more than they bargained for? Comedy, drama, action and Armageddon erupt in Full Moon's latest freaked out fantasy film, 'Barbenheimer!'

No other details are yet known. There are no production photos, no casting announcements, and the filmmakers' names haven't been released. (One might hope that Band asked Gerwig and Nolan to make the movie together.) Band announced to JoBlo that filming would begin next month. Those who know where to look might be wise to seek out casting notices. And then mail me the information, because I would love to act in a "Barbenheimer" movie. 

Mockbusters are nothing new — seek out The Asylum sometime — but the kind of movie that aims to exploit two movies at once, and the grassroots double-feature they birthed, is a new phenomenon indeed. Anyone keen on seeing "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer" may very well be curious enough to see the actual "Barbenheimer" movie. 

Knowing Charles Band, it will only be a matter of time before Dr. Barbenheimer meets the Evil Bong or the Demonic Toys, so get in on the ground floor.