One Of Barbie's Best Scenes Is About The Weirdest (And Most Dangerous) Toys Ever Made

This article contains spoilers for "Barbie."

Kate McKinnon's Weird Barbie has been getting a lot of love since the "Barbie" trailer first dropped, with the comedian portraying the personification of the dolls that were loved a little bit too hard ... or the victims of eldritch horror makeovers by children. Weird Barbie wears weird clothes, has weird hair, wears weird makeup, and lives in a weird house. She's also become the guardian of all of the Barbies the Mattel corporation has taken off the shelves for one reason or another. It's delightful because it not only assures anyone who watched "Toy Story" a little bit too young that these dolls are okay and haven't been abandoned, but also because these maligned dolls are a vital part of the "Barbie" climax. By positioning these "canceled" Barbies (and Kens) as an important part of restoring order to Barbieland, it sends the message that even the people pushed to the margins by society still have value.

"Barbie" is an uproarious, existential adventure and a celebration of Barbie's 60+ year history, warts and all. If you're unfamiliar with the odd faces seeking refuge at the Weird Barbie house, allow this article to be your guide to some of the weirdest and most dangerous Barbies ever made.

The first recalled Barbie we're introduced to is Tanner the labrador retriever, a toy introduced as part of the Barbie Potty Training Tanner Doll and playset. The toy had to be recalled because the dog would "poop" out little pellets for kids to scoop up, which were an immediate choking hazard. To make things worse, there was a magnet attached to Barbie's scooper that could fall out and be swallowed or aspirated. In an absolute worst-case scenario, if a child somehow swallowed more than one magnet, they could attract to one another and destroy the GI tract or cause a blockage.

Three official reports were made of the magnets falling out, but luckily there were no reported injuries. Mattel did their due diligence, however, and Tanner has been existing on the fringes of eBay sellers ever since. Gerwig's "Barbie" presents him as Weird Barbie's trusty sidekick, leaving poop pellets all over the house and joining her whenever she leaves the house on her weird adventures. It's the best possible outcome for a dog facing the ultimate in breed discrimination*.

*For legal purposes, this is a joke.

In the 1970s, Mattel co-founder Ruth Handler ended up in some hot water for not keeping her finances above board and falsifying financial documents, which meant dolls had to be designed without her input. And as such, Growing Up Skipper was born. Advertised as "the doll who grows from a cute little girl to a tall and curvy teenager," Barbie's kid sister Skipper had a doll that was intended to educate little girls about their changing bodies. With a simple rotation of her arm, Skipper would have a growth spurt and stretch an inch taller, but her rubbery chest would also "grow" boobs. While originally blonde like her big sister, Skipper was redesigned as a brunette and currently sports a purple money piece in the front because she's more of the artsy type than Barbie. Gerwig's film marries the two, presenting her as a brunette but wearing the original outfit from the 1970s.

Mattel

While she doesn't get nearly as much attention in the Weird Barbie house, Slumber Party Barbie is also hanging out. This is the doll that came under fire for coming with a scale locked at 110 pounds, not to be confused with Babysitter Barbie who came with a magazine with the tagline "How to Lose Weight" and the instructions "Don't Eat!" This Barbie is one of the most frequently cited whenever critics want to discuss Barbie's negative influence on society, forgetting that this style of encouraging disordered eating was extremely common at the time. Mattel absolutely missed the mark on this doll, but this problem is not exclusive to Barbie. Our society is fatphobic and terrible, and Barbie's reflection of that made her an easy scapegoat instead of us actually dismantling the oppressive systems that made it this way.

One of the most vocal Barbies at the Weird Barbie house is, understandably, Teen Talk Barbie. This Barbie came with many pre-recorded phrases but was at the center of two different controversies. The first was that in addition to the affirming, positive phrases like "I'm studying to be a doctor," and "School friends are the best," the doll also said, "Math class is tough!" The goal was to help little girls feel less shame surrounding their possible difficulties at school, but parents and activist groups alike lambasted the doll for perpetuating the stigma that girls have no place in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) subjects. It's a situation where the impact greatly outweighed the intent, and Teek Talk Barbie was pulled from shelves.

In a more hilarious controversy, Teen Talk Barbie was also used as an activism tool by the Barbie Liberation Organization (BLO), who replaced the talk boxes of Teen Talk Barbie with G.I. Joe to show how silly gender roles are presented by children's toys. Teen Talk Barbies were now saying "Vengeance is mine" while G.I. Joe was enthusiastically yelling out "Let's try on dresses!" Honestly, I would own both if I could get my hands on them, but they seem to be nowhere to be found at this point.

I intentionally didn't talk about the Barbie Video Girl controversy in my exhaustive guide to Barbie lore, because the absolute panic that surrounded her existence is related to an extremely sensitive subject and would have distracted from the overall tone of the piece. In an attempt to capitalize off of the booming advancements in technology, Mattel released a doll in 2010 that featured a video camera in Barbie's necklace and an LCD screen on her back for viewing. The idea was that kids could make their own mini-movies and shoot the scenes with the Barbie camera, and be able to watch the footage without having to involve any other bits of tech. However, the idea of a hidden camera in a children's toy caused a moral panic.

Not unlike the Furby, which was banned by the NSA out of fear the toy would record and then repeat government secrets, the FBI issued an alert regarding Barbie Video Girl out of concern that the doll could be used to record children without their consent. I'm trying to be delicate with my language here, but the FBI was legitimately concerned that people would sexually abuse children and use the Barbie to record it.

Mattel tried to clear the air and put out a statement that the FBI confirmed there were no incidents of the doll being used as anything other than as intended, but the damage was already done. The warning was enough for parents to lose their minds about the doll being a tool for pedophiles and acted as if nefarious actions had already occurred, so Mattel recalled the toy.

While "Barbie" doesn't ever tell us where the Kens go at night (don't think too hard about it) Weird Barbie's sanctuary is also home to wayward Kens, specifically, the gay ones. For Barbie's 50th anniversary, Mattel released a series of limited edition dolls to celebrate, including a silver fox named Palm Springs Sugar Daddy Ken. For those unaware, Ken's West Highland Terrier is named Sugar, so the implication is that this Ken is "Sugar's Daddy," but he was styled in a way that said, "I'm a millionaire currently paying for the company of someone 40 years my senior." He wore a green damask print blazer, a pink button-up shirt, and white pleated slacks. He bears a striking resemblance to a man featured in photographer Slim Aaron's photo, "Palm Springs Party." If you didn't know, Palm Springs has a vibrant reputation as a haven for gay men, so it's safe to say this Ken is, you know ... *flips wrist*

But even more delightful was the appearance of Earring Magic Ken. Mattel got wind that girls didn't think Ken was "cool" enough, so they wanted to give him a rebrand and did their research at raves in the early '90s. Do you know who went to raves in the early '90s? GAY MEN. Thus, the 1993 doll sported blonde highlights, a lavender mesh shirt, a necklace with a circular charm, and an earring in his left ear. His moral panic-described "cock ring" necklace is replaced with a Barbie logo in Gerwig's film, but I just about jumped out of my seat when I saw him. Earring Magic Ken is still the most-bought Ken in history because gay men went absolutely wild for him. He was discontinued because conservative parents are sex-obsessed weirdos who can't let anyone ever have any fun, but hopefully, his renewed popularity will inspire a re-release.