Every Major Character In The Flash, Ranked Worst To Best

For the purposes of this article, let us remember that characters are just that — characters.

In many cases, real-life actors seem to match the way they play characters onscreen. Many fans report pleasant encounters with Pedro Pascal, for example, and there are stories aplenty demonstrating that Bill Murray is legit weird and quirky. But then you have someone like Jerry Lewis, a comic and charity telethon host with a well-documented mean streak, or Vincent Price, known for his creepy roles but actually a soft-hearted dad and cat lover. Some actors always keep it real, while others are great at pretending. All of which is to say that you can like or dislike the character of Barry Allen/The Flash onscreen without it saying anything about Ezra Miller, the person portraying him. (Miller uses they/them pronouns, but Barry Allen is typically he/him.) Miller, of course, has been accused of several crimes, and many moviegoers may justifiably feel they don't want to support their movies.

This article, however, is about how effective the characters are that appear onscreen. Not how together the actors keep it in real life. A whole lot of other people worked on the movie, and most of Miller's headline-grabbing behavior took place after production began. When we rank the film's best major characters, it's a tribute to the work of all the storytellers in the process. Plus, if you're boycotting the movie, you can get all your MAJOR SPOILERS right here. Win-win!

Michael Shannon has rightfully called out the fact that Zod falls short as a character here, but that seems to be by design. He and Faora (Antje Traue) simply serve as vessels for this Earth self-correcting its timeline. Barry tried to change fixed plot points in the timeline, and were he in the Spider-Verse, that would cause Miguel O'Hara to have a conniption. In the DC Multiverse, however, it appears to lead Earth on a path to destruction at the hands of mad Kryptonians. As the most dangerous combination of power and intelligence in the DCEU so far — not including Darkseid, because WB still claims the theatrical "Justice League" is the canon one — Zod perfectly embodies the wrath of the universe.

So why can't his neck just be broken again, when Supergirl lacks any of her cousin's reservations against killing? Well, in "Man of Steel," Clark had the advantage of a lifetime of powering up on Earth, with Zod newly adapting. In "The Flash," it's Supergirl newly adapting after a lifetime out of the sun, and Zod never loses his power suit, plus he's an expert in multiple forms of combat. Kara's just good at flying and throwing people around. The Flash should've pulled a Bill and Ted, taking her back in time long enough to practice fighting and super-speed, then brought her back to face Zod.

As in "Shazam! Fury of the Gods," Wonder Woman shows up at the last minute and easily cleans up the boys' loose ends. And, as is often the case, she leaves the male heroes mighty impressed and staring as she leaves. Bear in mind that when you live as long as she does, it's as if her ex, Steve Trevor, only just died, and then came back, and then died again because she had to wish for him to. She's not getting over that any time soon, so the dudes in the Justice League need to check their expectations. Either way, Diana and actress Gal Gadot absolutely nail it. 

James Gunn hasn't confirmed that Gadot is done as Wonder Woman, even though her third solo movie got canceled. What we do know is won't appear again for a while, if at all, because both Superman and Batman are being recast younger. This, therefore, might be our last look at Gadot in costume doing super-stuff, and at least it rates as a pleasant goodbye.

For the purposes of character rankings, we're grouping all the Superman variants together, because they all represent the same thing: hope. When Barry Allen finds himself in a new, endangered universe, his first thought is of Superman. In his own universe, he has to be his best, most heroic self because bigger problems keep Superman occupied. In other universes, Superman also stands strong as a symbol of hope: hope that George Reeves and Christopher Reeve inspired among kids of their generation (sorry, Kirk Alyn — it seems time has forgotten you). In a smaller way, he also fulfills the hopes and dreams held by Nicolas Cage and producer Jon Peters. The former finally gets to don the suit; the latter achieves his lifelong goal of seeing Superman fight a giant spider.

Perhaps that's part of why Barry knows the new timeline cannot be saved — its Superman was killed as an infant. The hero that gives hope to every universe cannot do so for the one Dark Flash aims to fix.

What does that say about our own, powerless reality?

In the context of this movie, "Batman" without qualifiers refers to Ben Affleck's Batman. Affleck, who has played the character in "Batman v Superman," "Suicide Squad," "Justice League" (both versions), and now 'The Flash," is the only cinematic Batman to have never gotten his own solo movie, despite the fact that he and his stuntpeople frequently deliver the best Bat-fights. The Batcycle chase gives us more of that, and even puts Bruce in a blue and gray suit for the first time in a movie since Adam West. (Too bad the toy companies didn't get the memo, and made his action figures all black.)

Affleck has said this is the movie where the character finally clicked for him, and we can see it in the scenes with Barry where he talks about how pain and scars make us who we are. He comes across as a man who lives with the sadness of a great loss and wants to do better, rather than an angry, bitter soul. It's a shame he's done with the part, but there's plenty of time left to reconsider. Just ask Michael Keaton.

This is the Alfred we like to see. Not some old man so fixated on his own mortality that he wants to marry Bruce off and dissuade him from the path of crimefighting, but a reliable backup who can balance both Bruce's checkbook and his hero duties, swinging the appropriate backup as needed. It must seem strange to audiences now to hear that Jeremy Irons used to be the go-to for weird, creepy guys, now that he's the warm, accommodating butler-dad of the whole Justice League.

Per his musings in the "Snyder Cut," one longs for the days when we might have seen him deal with exploding penguins. That's a multiversal flashback which would be fun. Not that Michael Gough's Alfred didn't ably acquit himself with actual missile-bearing penguins back in the day, of course.

Presumably, we also have Alfred to thank for the Flash's energy meter, which works like the one in such games as "Final Fight" — pick up food on the street, and pump that meter back up!

For "The Flash" to work, we must invest in his cause: to save his mother's life. That won't happen if his mother comes across as anything less than a childhood-remembered ideal. Thanks to an able, warm, and relatable performance by Maribel Verdu, the movie delivers a mother some of us wish we'd had. The "I love you more"-"I love you most" thing comes across as cloying as hell if you don't feel it the way the characters do. Ezra Miller may have far more complicated issues in real life, but when it comes to Barry Allen, it's completely plausible that losing his mom made him the way he is: so awkward, unpunctual, and determined to fix everything. Losing a mom that angelic would do it.

The only part that's even mildly less than plausible? The fact that a mom this good at cooking would not have a long-term stock of tomato cans on hand that she rotates out frequently.

Superhero movies overflow with larger-than-life characters who want to destroy the world, or save it, or obtain ultimate power. It's hard for all of us regular mortals to relate to such things, when we'd rather take it easy. That's why Gary (Sean Rogers) rules. The most important thing to him? "Back to the Future." This is comedy we can all understand.

Even if you forget Gary's name, nobody's going to forget his tattoo. Seemingly upside-down — though that depends entirely upon one's perspective, which is, like, deeeeep, man! — it depicts Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly. In our world, only a cinephile fond of in-jokes would sport such a thing. Stoltz was originally cast as Marty in "Back to the Future," but his performance was reportedly too intensely serious. When Michael J. Fox was finally persuaded to take on the movie even while shooting "Family Ties," he reshot all of Stoltz's scenes. Except in the new universe. Because Barry Allen's mother never died, Eric Stoltz never got fired from "Back to the Future," and dudes like Gary can't stop talking about him. It would be interesting to see how many people after watching "The Flash" decided to get Gary's exact tattoo for themselves.

It would also be more proof that Gary's awesome. Be more like Gary.

Coming out and truly stating it might have forced "The Flash" into an R-rating, but Barry #2 is totally a stoner. Without his mom dying, he didn't sustain any major emotional traumas as a kid, so rather than being driven to help the entire world, he grew up wanting to have fun. To be fair, he seems a lot happier than Barry #1.

Yet people are people, and it's not all nature or nurture. Barry #2 still has it in him to want to be a superhero, and to take the responsibility seriously. So, when he fails, he can't accept it. Like a Nintendo player on a really hard platforming game, he thinks that with enough resets and reboots, he eventually has to become good enough to win. He never realizes that the self-correcting universe resembles an '80s-style arcade game, one that keeps going and going until you die or reach the kill screen. Either way, nobody's getting out of it.

As an image of how flawed a happy Barry #1 would become, Barry #2 makes the perfect cautionary tale, and confirms Batman's point that scars make us who we are.