John Wick: Chapter 4 Is The Fastest Three Hours You'll Spend In A Theater

Can you hear that sound? If you've spent any amount of time online in recent years, you'll recognize it as the clamor of an increasingly vocal group of moviegoers who pine for the days of taut, breezy, 90-minute thrillers that used to be in vogue. (Never mind the fact that we still get plenty of these movies — we just did, in fact! It had dinosaurs, starred Adam Driver, and clocked in at an hour and 33 minutes! Nobody watched it!) The crux of the argument is that blockbuster entertainment lately has given over entirely to extreme, bladder-punishing runtimes, from "The Batman" to "RRR" to James Cameron's "Avatar: The Way of Water."

Keanu Reeves' "John Wick" franchise itself feels like a golden example of this trend, as each sequel has progressively increased in budget, world-building complexity, and, yes, runtime. Based on the success these movies enjoy at the box office, however, audiences clearly don't mind the fact that the original 2014 movie and its 96-minute runtime have been left in the dust. No, the story keeps expanding, several new characters played by legends of the industry have been introduced, and John's epic journey has reached genuinely Odyssean proportions with the impending release of "John Wick: Chapter 4" as a nearly three-hour saga.

And you know what? It earns each and every one of those (potentially) butt-numbing minutes. For the skeptics who may still remain on the fence, here's a spoiler-free look at how it manages to pull off this incredible feat.

Some may question the necessity of taking what used to be such a stripped-down, meat-and-potatoes action/thriller and loading up every subsequent "John Wick" sequel with far more subplots and much lengthier (and gorier) action scenes. To that, I'd have to let famously indulgent filmmaker Quentin Tarantino provide the only logical answer: "Because. It's. So. Much. Fun, Jan!" "Chapter 4" takes this fun-loving mentality to its extreme (and, never forget, it could've been even longer, according to director Chad Stahelski himself) to truly spectacular results.

So why did it have to be so long, you may ask? Well, it's all in service of selling audiences on the operatic stakes of this latest adventure. Remember, John Wick isn't just another hitman in this world, but the Baba Yaga — the boogeyman of all boogeymen, whose prowess in combat and unbelievable feats are the stuff of legend to criminals and do-gooders alike. Though his motivations couldn't be more simple (this entire four-film series started, as we all know, over a dead dog and a stolen car), the lengths he's gone in order to exact vengeance upon his enemies far outweighs such humble origins. This isn't a franchise about how silly it is that the punishment meted out by Wick doesn't quite fit the original crime, but a deadly earnest exploration of how (or even if) such a violent man can come to terms with his grief.

Could the story in "Chapter 4" theoretically have been told in half the runtime, shaving off entire set pieces and extraneous scenes for the sake of a tighter, more streamlined ride? Maybe, but that would rob both Wick and audiences of appreciating just how difficult and high-stakes a path our favorite assassin is doomed to take.

Whether or not one agrees with whether a movie like "John Wick: Chapter 4" should necessarily be as long as it is, the next question concerns what it actually does in its nearly 3-hour runtime — and, importantly, how viewers can prepare themselves for such an experience.

For one thing, expect a cornucopia of mayhem to be thrown your way pretty much immediately. Similar to the buffet of violence served up in "Chapter 3," the fourth film promises an endlessly creative display of all the ways that hordes of henchman can be sent off to their deaths. For instance, ever wonder why Wick has typically opted for headshots without ever really targeting some of the more, ah, sensitive regions of an enemy's body to first put them out of commission before finally putting them out of their misery? Wonder no more, as "Chapter 4" features more gunshots, punches, kicks, and stabs to the groin area than the previous three movies combined. Tired of all the usual, monotonous gunplay on display in these movies? Well, a whopping 37-minute action sequence running the gamut of all sorts of imaginative life-or-death set pieces will probably cure you of any apathy you might've previously felt. And, yes, there's one practical concern to address: You'll want to visit the restroom beforehand. I can't think of a single moment of downtime that could be missed, even for a minute.

Believe me, I'm typically on the bandwagon for leaner, shorter, and quick-and-dirty action movies that never once overstay their welcome. But once in a while, an action masterclass comes along that justifies a little bit of excess on its way to pulling off the extraordinary. This is one of those movies.

"John Wick: Chapter 4" comes to theaters March 24, 2023.