Every Bob's Burgers Valentine's Day Episode Ranked

"Bob's Burgers" has been serving up burgers of the day, family hijinks, and wonderful Wonder Wharf weirdness for 13 seasons and counting. Over the years since it first premiered, the show has kept fans coming back for more with its endearing characters, witty writing, and deft ability to navigate silliness and sentimentality at the same time. The show has also established the yearly tradition of airing some of the best holiday specials in television, with its cheerful Christmas romps, playfully spooky Halloween stories, and the turkey-based madness of Thanksgiving. But the holiday festivities don't end with the big three! Though they don't do it every year, the show also occasionally decides to feel the love with a Valentine's Day episode. 

The show uses its Valentine's Day specials to take a look at love and romance in the world of the show, from Bob and Linda's attempts to keep the spark alive after three kids and years of marriage to Tina's burgeoning teenage dating life and all of the sweaty awkwardness that comes with it. In honor of the holiday, we've ranked every "Bob's Burgers" V-Day special from worst to best. So let's crack open that heart-shaped box and see what's inside. After all, "Bob's Burgers" Valentine's Day episodes are like a box of chocolates: sweet, unpredictable, and chock-full of nuts.

This Season 9 episode takes place on Valentine's Day and centers around a fight between Bob and Linda, but it is less of a Valentine's Day special and more of a collection of stories spun by the kids, in the vein of Season 5's "The Gayle Tales." Tensions are running high in the Belcher house after an argument about dirty laundry puts Bob and Linda in a bad mood, while the kids angst about getting caught breaking their parents' bed. As a distraction from the stress, the family goes on an outing to the movies, but their viewing is interrupted just before the romantic comedy reaches its climax. Don't worry, though, as it's Gene, Louise, and Tina to the rescue as each kid pitches their own version of the movie's ending.

The kids have a pretty loose grasp of story structure, the city of London, and what is and isn't romantic in a movie, but their bizarre takes on the story (which include references to "Speed" and "Sharknado," among other classics) manage to lighten the mood and ensure that Valentine's Day isn't ruined after all. Not an especially romantic episode, but a realistic look at the toll day-to-day stresses can take on a relationship, and a lesson in not letting the little things build up into bigger resentments. Also, the healing power of fanfiction. 

When it comes to romantic comedy tropes, Fake Dating is a classic, seen in films like "The Proposal," "Pretty Woman," and "To All the Boys I've Loved Before." The premise is simple: two people, who aren't attracted to each other, pretend to date until movie magic kicks in and they end up falling in love. "Can't Buy Me Math" is the "Bob's Burgers" take on this formula. When Tina is in danger of failing math, she approaches the nerdy Darryl for tutoring help. He agrees, on one condition: she will pretend to be his girlfriend and accompany him to the Valentine's Day dance so that he can win the Cupid's Couple award and impress his crush, Rosa. Tina agrees, but warns Darryl not to fall for her. He doesn't but Tina gets caught up in the pretend romance and exposes her and Darryl's lies to everyone. 

Recognizing the error of her ways, Tina works to make things up to Darryl and convince Rosa to give him another chance. She realizes that she let her fantasies get the best of her, prioritizing the idealized version of Darryl in her head instead of the actual person with wants and needs. It's a lesson in helping others, being honest instead of playing rom com-inspired games, and the understanding that in real life, there are no leagues, just people, being messy and doing their best. 

This Season 6 episode sees the reunion of Wagstaff School's most dramatic song-and-dance duo: Gene and Courtney. The two set their previous messy history of lies, betrayal, and heartbreak aside for a shot at school-wide fame when they get the chance to host the daily morning announcements. Whatever chemistry Gene and Courtney lacked as a couple, they have as a creative team, and the more they work together, the more they find themselves becoming more than cohosts. However, mixing love with show biz proves to be a disaster, and their show takes a sharp decline in quality when the two begin dating again. They are forced to admit that they can either be a couple or do the show, but not both. Gene struggles with the heartache, but makes peace with it by writing a song about his feelings and singing it live on the air, moving the school with his lyrics: "But still be glad, еven if you're sad. Take comfort just in knowing, you'll be okay, it's Valentine's Day. Your heart's not broken, it's only growing."

In the B-Plot, Tina struggles to run the school's Valentine's Day carnation fundraiser, and chaos ensues in the form of mismatched cards and a trip to the flower wholesaler, but the real star of this episode is Gene. Gene struggles with vulnerability, generally using his art to talk about cafeteria foods and farts, but in "The Gene and Courtney Show," he experiences a breakthrough, and handles a breakup, with emotional maturity and the power of artistic expression.

In the show's very first Valentine's Day episode, Bob struggles to step up his gift-giving game after a series of lackluster Valentine's Days leaves Linda disappointed. With the help of the kids, Bob attempts to find something truly meaningful to show Linda how much he cares about her, and to prove that he is capable of being as romantic as she is. Prompting from Louise unlocks a memory of a Valentine's Day Bob and Linda spent together before they got married, when their car broke down and they ended up playing a Love Tester game in a dive bar while waiting for it to get fixed. Bob decides to go back to that same bar and get Dr. Love's Love Testometer to bring it back to Linda. Together he and the kids embark on a journey to track down the machine alongside Linda's ex, Hugo the health inspector. But when they finally locate the Love Testometer, Bob realizes that his romantic memory was of a date with the girl he dated before he met Linda. 

Dejected, Bob returns home to admit his failings to Linda, who has been holding a speed-dating event at the restaurant in his absence. To his surprise, she finds the effort romantic. It proves that he cared about doing something nice for her and making her feel special. "My Fuzzy Valentine" is a story about how it's the thought that counts, even if the thought was a bit misguided. 

In this Season 11 episode, the Belcher family decides to cash in on the demand for fancy restaurants where couples can spend the evening. For the night of Valentine's Day, Bob's Burgers transforms into "Urge," a stylish new restaurant with mood lighting, a prix fixe menu, and Gene dressed up as Cupid serenading customers — whether they like it or not. But when Hugo shows up to wait for a blind date, the future of the restaurant depends on his date actually showing up. 

While the restaurant enjoys one of its busiest nights of all time, Tina attends Tammy's Anti-Valentine's Day Party, which turns out to be a makeout party in disguise. Surrounded by kissing couples, Tina does her best to escape the hormonally charged madness with her lips unsmooched. She manages to escape, but a romantic text from Jimmy Jr. reminds her that she just can't quit the ultimate romantic holiday. Bob and Linda revert the restaurant to its charming old self, share their Valentine's Day wishes with one another, and even Hugo gets a happy ending for once. It doesn't matter if everything is perfect, or goes exactly according to plan, because love always finds a way. 

"Bob Actually" is the rare holiday episode where each member of the Belcher family has their own individual storyline. In this Season 7 episode, Bob, Linda, Gene, Tina, and Louise find themselves swept up in a chaotic, love-related adventure. Tina grapples with chili-induced diarrhea that threatens to get in the way of Jimmy Jr.'s plans for the two to share a "sky kiss" on a giant trampoline. Louise worries that Regular Sized Rudy might like-like her, only to discover he has a crush on a girl who uses him for quiz answers. Gene meets Isabella, an Italian cafeteria substitute who teaches him about the bittersweetness of dark chocolate and unrequited love. Linda tries to patch things up between Ms. Selbo with her ex-boyfriend, in spite of a messy breakup that included her stealing his dog and peeing on his mail. Bob scrambles to get his last-minute gift to Linda completed by taking a ballroom dance class. However, that class is canceled, so he and Teddy take hip-hop instead from a woman named Stella and her dance battle-obsessed son. 

The Belchers may struggle, but love wins out in the end. Tina problem-solves with a pair of stilts, Gene says goodbye to Isabella, Louise gives Rudy his first non-parent non-grandparent kiss, and Linda inexplicably loves Bob's hip-hop dance routine. "Bob Actually" is regarded as one of the best episodes of the series, and it's not hard to see why. It's heartwarming and hysterical, and everyone gets their happy ending. Well, except Ms. Selbo. She's kind of a mess. 

Tina Belcher has an open heart, a wild imagination, and gets lost in wild fantasies of handsome zombies, boy band members, and Jimmy Pesto's dance-obsessed son, Jimmy Jr. But Jimmy Jr. often lets her down and hurts her feelings. Thirteen year old boys aren't known for refined emotional intelligence, but that's no excuse for how he treats Tina. One of Jimmy Jr.'s worst episodes also happens to be the show' best Valentine's Day episode. 

Jimmy Jr. casts Tina aside for classmate Becky, even using the Valentine's Day frame Tina gave him to display a picture of Becky. That sends Tina into a deep funk. To snap her out of it, Louise and Linda take her on a Girl's Night Out limousine ride. There, they meet their eccentric driver Nat, a great side characters (who deserves way more screen time). Nat lends her services (and stink bombs) to the Belcher girls as they scheme to sabotague Jimmy Jr. and Becky's date. Tina changes her mind last-minute and apologizes to Becky. Then, at the dinner table, Jimmy Jr. dumps Becky. In a moment of girl-to-girl solidarity, Tina rushes Becky into the limo while Louise and Nat stink-bomb Jimmy Jr.'s insensitive ass.

Meanwhile, Bob and Gene take a trapeze workshop together (originally a couple's activity). In a moment of fear and trepidation, they become stuck between two moves and hang suspended in the air. Finally, thanks to love, trust, and some not-so-gentle nudging from the class's instructors, they take a leap of faith and let go together. It's a beautiful father/son bonding moment, though they both soil their unitards. Most "Bob's Burgers" Valentine's Day episodes focus on romantic love, but "V for Valentine-Detta" spotlights other kinds of love we should treasure: family, friendship, and the life-changing magic of a girl power jam.