A Love Letter To CD, The Hellraiser Franchise's Goofiest Cenobite

When you think of the Cenobites from the "Hellraiser" films, you undoubtedly think of Pinhead (Doug Bradley). Maybe you think about the gang of other enlightened souls he hangs out with from the first two films, which include the terrifying Chatterer (Nicholas Vince) and the mysterious Female (Grace Kirby/Barbie Wilde). If you're a completionist, then you may think about the various low-budget iterations of these characters, including the aforementioned Chatterer in "Hellraiser: Judgment."

However, there is arguably only one Cenobite that you should think about. He's arguably more important than our famous Hell Priest in either novella or film incarnations, and that is my beloved CD. I will not be taking any questions, but I will take the time to elaborate further.

But first, some context. CD (Brent Bolthouse) was introduced in "Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth" as a DJ working at The Boiler Room. We don't get to see much of this character before his death, but we do know that he was one of Pinhead's many victims during his massacre in the club after being freed from the Pillar of Souls. Then, when Pinhead resurrects him and other victims to hunt down reporter Joey (Terry Farrell), he emerges, and it is glorious.

I mean, just look at him. He's perfect. This Cenobite design is so grotesquely of its time that it goes from dated to campy the more you look at it. He wears BDSM gear. His weapon of choice is a pair of extremely sharp CDs. His mouth is a CD player. I cannot stress any of this enough. There is no other type of Cenobite in the franchise that is as bizarre and goofy looking as this guy, and that's including the similarly on-the-nose Camerahead.

The reason why CD is so ridiculous is that he actually isn't a full-blown Cenobite. CD, along with the other resurrected beings from the Boiler Room massacre, are what the franchise called "Pseudo Cenobites." As we saw in "Hellbound: Hellraiser II," full Cenobites are made when they arrive in Hell and go through the Leviathan's Creation Chambers. However, that's not the same process that CD or any of the other Pseudo Cenobites take. They're just simply resurrected by Pinhead in order to complete a task. While it's unclear whether they would have gone through proper Cenobite training if they survived long enough to enter the Leviathan, they weren't true Cenobites in the way that Pinhead and his gash were, which explains why CD is, well, CD.

But I personally don't care that he isn't a true Cenobite in the technical sense. He's one in my heart, and that's what matters in the end. He's my silly little guy, and he should be yours, as well.