A Tribute To Jason Lannister, The Biggest Dweeb On House Of The Dragon

House Lannister of Casterly Rock is one of the Great Houses of Westeros, boasting one of the richest and most powerful families in all the land, and oldest dynasties. For "Game of Thrones" fans, we remember them as the debt-paying house of golden-haired lions like Cersei, Jaime, Tywin, and Tyrion, but in "House of the Dragon," we're saddled with Jason *checks notes* yes, JASON Lannister. Okay, not just Jason, also his twin brother Tyland (both played by Jefferson Hall) who sits on the king's council. When we first meet Jason in episode three, he's immediately shown to be as Lannister-y as humanly possible, wearing his conniving and power hungry motives on his sleeve, but without any of the charm or wit of the family we'd see hundreds of years later.

When Jason first arrives, he's looking for help from King Viserys (Paddy Considine) with the Crabfeeder, but immediately gets distracted and instead sets his sights on Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock). It'd be one thing if Jason actually saw the Princess the way the rest of us do and found himself enraptured with her unf***withable attitude, but alas, Jason Lannister is nothing more than the Westerosi incel posterboy. He tells Rhaenyra about the glory of Casterly Rock, gives her "the finest honey wine," and drops a cute lil' hint about him wanting to build a dragon pit, which is the George R.R. Martin equivalent of some guy at the club trying to convince you to come back to his place and check out his jacuzzi after bragging about the IPA he wants you to try that tastes like every other IPA on the menu.

Jason Lannister is a dweeby wiener, but we can't help but love to hate him.

Fortunately, audiences aren't alone in loving to poke fun at Jason, as just about everyone in King's Landing is also down to get in on the fun. Jason gifts Prince Aegon a gold and red spear (Lannister house colors, of course) while telling Viserys he intends to marry Rhaenyra as a means to join the Targaryean and Lannister houses, clearly assuming that if he gave her a son, that child would override her birthright and become the new ruler of Westeros.

Viserys is DONE with people ignoring his decision to name the Princess as his heir, and politely tells Jason to kick rocks with the same energy as the sorority girls in "The House Bunny." Viserys even talks smack with his Hand, Otto Hightower, about it afterward, saying "that man's pride has pride," which is a much kinder way of saying "Jason Lannister smells his own farts."

The Lannisters aren't always the easiest people to like, but at least people like Cersei and Tywin knew they were evil monsters. Jason reeks of entitlement and tries to hide his annoying opinions under a Martin Shkreli-lookin' smirk. It's so painfully obvious that Jason Lannister is an entitled little worm, armed with nothing more than a lot of wealth and an endless supply of The Audacity™. And yet, I welcome his presence, if only because it's a refreshing reminder that not all of the men in Westeros are violently manipulative monsters, some of them are just losers.

During the pre-wedding feast of Rhaenyra and Laenor Velaryon, Jason shows up and immediately solidifies himself as The Worst Lannister. Still clearly annoyed that he wasn't chosen as Rhaenyra's betrothed, he shows up with a cringe joke about Queen Alicent being tardy for the welcome feast, "This is why men wage war, because women will never be ready for the battle in time." HAHAHAHA, OH JASON, YOU'RE SUCH A CARD! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A PODCAST! 

The real irony is that Jason made his tired-ass joke only for Queen Alicent Hightower to show up in a stunning emerald gown, a sign that she's more than ready for battle. Way to tell on yourself, buddy.

HBO

This mediocre Lannister with a flesh-toned beard and uncombed hair coming to Princess Rhaenyra "intricate-hair-braid-with-nary-a-flyaway-in-sight" Targaryen cannot be serious showing up to her wedding with a medieval "women be shopping" joke. Look, I understand he's still being a bitter manbaby about not being chosen, but showing up to the nuptials of the woman who rejected you only to continue proving why her rejection was a good choice is not the flex you think it is, my guy. Jason earned every last bit of eye rolling from Viserys and Rhaenyra, but hey, at least those two finally have something they agree on. When I look at Jason, the words of Oberyn Martell come to mind. 

"Do you know why all the world hates a Lannister? You think your gold and your lions and your gold lions make you better than everyone. May I tell you a secret? You're not a golden lion. You're just a pink little man who is far too slow on the draw."

The Lannisters send their regards because in the case of Jason, they certainly aren't sending their best.